Mumsnet is toxic

[Teapot1990]

Is it just me who feels like mumsnet is full of people trying to shame others and show off about themselves? I rarely feel good about the things I read on here and think it's almost as bad as social media.

I agree in many ways. Lots of people are unable to read/ or comprehend, and rant at something that was never said!

Try looking on some of the boards that aren't AIBU, and you'll get a much better view of Mumsnet.

You get some lovely really good advice and then you get some people with just too much time on their hands and a god complex!
for me I would never take advice from someone who see’s fit to shame others who ask for help or try and accuse them of crap!

It completely depends on the types of threads you view IMO.

MN looked out for me when my DH was dying, and made me the most beautiful blanket. I’m under it now.

'as bad as social media' that's because it is. People feel comfortable airing opinions they absolutely would not in real life.

I get the feeling some use it as am outlet too. Get out the anger they feel in a 'safe' environment, a version of true catharsis.

Yes sometimes, but let's not forget there are often supportive threads too.

And occasionally witty ones.

In some places yes, people are nasty for no reason. In other places, people are supportive and kind. So just use the places where people aren’t nasty.

No. There's a thread along these lines nearly every week.

This. AIBU gets a bit snipey (guilty myself occasionally).

Perhaps you got lost on the way to Flouncer's Corner?

I’ve never understood the idea of people supposedly showing off. I mean, what is/would be the point when no one knows who you are?

There are certainly a good percentage who are desperate to convince everyone that they are right and their partner/children/boss/friend/neighbour/cat is completely and utterly wrong. It's sad to see how many are looking for validation or approval but it's part of life now - "'please tell me it's someone else's fault"

Off you pop!

Proving my point exactly...

Sometimes people even start whole threads about how nasty other MN users are!

yes it's toxic. I have deleted numerous accounts over the years after horrible people made me feel bad but alas i'm back again.

I think people feel powerful and get a kick from bringing others down a notch. It's amazing that even though were anonymous Internet strangers can really get to you.

I find it a very positive and fun thing. But you do have to just skim over the nasty posts and ignore them, and enjoy yourself

Hardly the same as some of the nasty comments you see posted by some users

Proving your point would be providing evidence to back up your claim.

MN is no worse and no better than any other forum, so essentially what you say is true. However, you've posted in AIBU, which is know to be a robustly unforgiving environment.

Put this in Site Stuff. Or Chat. You're here for the engagement for better or worse.

Yes, absolutely toxic a lot of the time.

The vile and vitriol poured by keyboard warriors at people who are obviously upset and vulnerable really winds me up.

The worst was a thread where a 24 year old who was two weeks postpartum and asking for housing advice, ( she and her newborn lived with elderly grandparents with dementia), had pages of posters yelling at her that ( "you're just not normal, three pregnancies by 24 is just disgusting"), despite her stating in the opening post she had lost the previous pregnancy at 17 weeks and PTSD from this).

How anyone felt it acceptable to be so cruel to a young woman who had a two week old newborn, was living with / caring for an elderly grandparent with dementia and was coping with PTSD from the 17 week loss I will never know.

Unfortunately, Mumsnet is imo particularly toxic to: SAHM's, women with accidental pregnancies, young mother's, anyone who has ever had to claim benefits ever, women experiencing DV , ( "you are a disgrace for putting up with this,") anyone with any kind of housing problem or anyone who might be vulnerable.

It often feels like there is a pile on. The first couple of posts seem to set the tone and god help the op!

It is social media, and people are under a blanket of anonymity, so they say shit they wouldn't dare say in real life/under their own name and risk being called out for it. I think it's hilarious. And obviously everyone's really rich and have PhDs in everything, so there's that.

You need a fairly thick skin, a huge pinch of salt, and numerous name changes. Then it's ok x

Or perhaps you lost your manners ?