Mumsnet is toxic

[Teapot1990]

Is it just me who feels like mumsnet is full of people trying to shame others and show off about themselves? I rarely feel good about the things I read on here and think it's almost as bad as social media.

Returning from an extended break, I have to say I do think it’s more toxic than it was.

The thing that’s surprising is how many posters seem to really dislike children.

A lot of people hide behind screens, not just on here but all over the internet. I try to be honest, but also considerate and kind overall. Some AIBU posts can be a bit like they're fishing for arguments, so best to take those with a large bucket of salt or accept it might get a bit heated! 😬

This. Some people seem to come online in order to insult strangers, which is weird in my opinion. But most Mumsnet threads are helpful. I find it a friendly place.

Proving my point exactly...

It does doesn't it?
I see these threads regularly then they get inundated with people who like being nasty to others putting the OP down and basically telling them to leave if they don't like it 🤷🏽‍♀️

Unfortunately it's not just AIBU the site attracts people who come just to be unkind and hide behind the anonymity. On the other hand I do think that these people are in the minority and there are many mumsnetters who are helpful, supportive, kind and witty. That's what I stay for.

Unfortunately, Mumsnet is imo particularly toxic to: SAHM's, women with accidental pregnancies, young mother's, anyone who has ever had to claim benefits ever, women experiencing DV , ( "you are a disgrace for putting up with this,") anyone with any kind of housing problem or anyone who might be vulnerable

You forgot teachers, single parents (unless widowed), anyone larger than a size 12.

Personally I don't find MN toxic at all. Ok, you get some posts from people who are obviously out for an argument but it's easy enough to ignore them.

I would go further, and for me, some of the posters on here have caused the scales to fall away (do scales lift or fall away?) about my past relationships dating back to childhood. I understand more about myself than I used to, and that's thanks in part to some people on MN. I have been reassured beyond words by some posts, even though they are directed towards other people. I have tried to help in a v small way by my posts, too.

I'm quite timid so I don't think I'd start any threads any more, but I have been enriched by being on here.

I often think that the words 'toxic' and 'bullying' are badly over-used here. It seems to be used by those who don't like people disagreeing with them, arguing with them or - sometimes - just having a different opinion from them.

But also - if people think it's so toxic, or there is so much bullying - I can't understand why they don't (at the very least) report those posts they think are so, or go and find another site that is preferable for them.

Mumsnet is massive. It stands to reason that there will be a lot of different opinions, many of which will be diametrically opposite. It also stands to reason that some posters will be lovely and some much less so.

I don't understand the point of these threads, to be honest.

I often think that the words 'toxic' and 'bullying' are badly over-used here. It seems to be used by those who don't like people disagreeing with them, arguing with them or - sometimes - just having a different opinion from them

I think this is part of the problem to be honest, there's a few people in here who don't know how to disagree in a civil way.

Differences of opinions are one thing but what I see fairly often is that posters who disagree with a person or action very quickly start swearing at and making personal comments at that person...that behaviour is toxic in my opinion!

I think there are lots of nice, reasonable and articulate people on Mumsnet but they tend to be overshadowed by the vocal minority of rude, unpleasant, inarticulate and thuggish posters who only come on here to argue, bully and insult other posters.

I agree. There's an awful lot of really trivial threads nowadays. I don't mean funny trivial, like years ago but whiney trivial - 'AIBU to by annoyed DH didn't offer to run me a bath' type stuff. It has made the site very boring. You often have to trawl and trawl to find an interesting thread.

There are always gems to be found. Some posters have transformed my life with their observations and guidance, and they don't even know it!

@drunkpeacock

Differences of opinions are one thing but what I see fairly often is that posters who disagree with a person or action very quickly start swearing at and making personal comments at that person...that behaviour is toxic in my opinion!

Yes, I agree with this. But to my point about reporting such behaviour - I'm always amazed to read posters who complain about this, but then when asked if they've reported it, they say they haven't. If such posts don't get reported, MNHQ will never see them (this being a post-moderated site), and so posters get away with it. Worse, the unpleasant posts stay up for everyone to see.

Some posters are nobheads, most are not. I've been here for 17yrs under various names and seen some spectacular flounces and drama. Moldies and Mumschat were two big ones I can recall. But its not all vipers and bitchiness, I've been on lots of meet ups from MN from the antenatal threads. We had a fantastic MN Xmas do in Manchester years ago.
You sometimes have to be thick skinned as there is not much sugar coating but the brutal honesty of supporting women is incredible. So toxic, no, its not.

Mumsnet = pinch of salt

And pensioners. Apparently it’s shocking that they have the temerity to claim the pension they’ve worked over 40 years to qualify for.

I would rephrase it as ‘some people on Mumsnet are toxic’ and I would say yes, yes some are.

And pensioners. Apparently it’s shocking that they have the temerity to claim the pension they’ve worked over 40 years to qualify for.

Or stay in the house they have worked all their lives to pay for.

Yes and often the modding seems to inflame the situation rather than calm it down. Maybe it’s inevitable on an anonymous forum.

The modding seems to be to delete anything that’s reported. I’ve seen really innocuous things deleted because someone’s taken a dislike to the poster.

I have had some really nasty posts aimed at me . I very rarely report. As I like the nastiness to be seen. If its deleted that person has said what they intended the op or others to see. Cause the hurt /upset. Then its deleted so they get to hide their nastiness. So in my threads I like them posts to stay. A little bit like naming and shaming I guess.

And Leave voters who are rabid frothing gammon racist thick bigots to a (wo)man who have no rights to an opinion because they are too dense to understand how awful Brexit is/was/will be.

Or seem to maintain a perpetual state of bitterness and resentment but simultaneously think 100k is barely enough to live on or can't imagine renting.

And Leave voters who are rabid frothing gammon racist thick bigots to a (wo)man who have no rights to an opinion because they are too dense to understand how awful Brexit is/was/will be

Well ...

Yes.in the last few days alone I have reported posts that are bullying others, downright nasty for no reason other than they are keyboard warriers

There are some quite nasty threads. But the thing I find most depressing and the most changed from when I was here back when it were all fields is how right wing and anti feminist it now is.