Page 4 | Mumsnet is toxic

Teapot1990 · 2023-04-20T21:23:57+00:00

Is it just me who feels like mumsnet is full of people trying to shame others and show off about themselves? I rarely feel good about the things I read on here and think it's almost as bad as social media.

TwoFluffyDogsOnMyBed · 21/04/2023 14:01

Yes it’s awful and it can make you believe that people are really horrible and lacking in empathy. It’s also a complete waste of time because I don’t know anyone on here. I’m planning to give it up in the very near future!

ApolloandDaphne · 21/04/2023 14:03

It can be toxic. The trick is not to mistake it for real life. I take everything on here with a pinch of salt and I am really choosy about what I post.

FloydPepper · 21/04/2023 14:03

Summerhillsquare · 20/04/2023 22:30

Perhaps you got lost on the way to Flouncer's Corner?

And the prize for the first twatty response goes to…

Thelnebriati · 21/04/2023 14:06

Not everyone is here in good faith, try not to let them put you off.

CovertImage · 21/04/2023 14:15

I can't decide if "toxic" or "vile" is the most overused word on MN

Tabby87 · 21/04/2023 14:20

No. I see people get pretty frank relationship advice often but it's mostly for their benefit.

sashagabadon · 21/04/2023 14:23

Yes I agree but it is boards that are toxic not mn as a whole. Royal family board is currently very toxic with a handful of posters being horrible to each other but that’s because the coronation is coming up i think - more attention on the topic.
but other boards eg telly or weather or chat mostly non toxic

AllOfThemWitches · 21/04/2023 14:34

StJulian2023 · 20/04/2023 22:27

MN looked out for me when my DH was dying, and made me the most beautiful blanket. I’m under it now.

That's lovely. I think there are some wonderful people on here and some very unhappy people who try to drag others down from the safety of their keyboards.

LaMaG · 21/04/2023 14:52

I would say there are toxic elements but on balance I'd say no. I posted only once for family related advice and got really helpful supportive info. But I'm new to MN and never been on social media, still only viewing the occasional thread.

What strikes me is the immediate "just take the kids and leave him" response to almost every relationship post. Fair enough in abusive situations but it seems like the solution to every little domestic problem. As if the male partner is automatically wrong. Surely there are 2 sides to every story.

DerekFaker · 21/04/2023 15:01

chocolatemademefat · 21/04/2023 09:06

AIBU is a lot less caustic than it used to be. I preferred it years ago when people discussed real problems - some of the posts now are nonsense - e.g. - what is this mark on my leg? Answer - no one gives a shit.

now it’s full of people reluctant to give real opinions in case they get flamed.

Really? I think it's far worse now!

I agree with your point about the quality of discussions though.

Neededanewuserhandle · 21/04/2023 15:04

FloydPepper · 21/04/2023 14:03

And the prize for the first twatty response goes to…

Show quote history

You! 😂

Neededanewuserhandle · 21/04/2023 15:05

eellww · 21/04/2023 13:43

Wholeheartedly agree. Yet to see the benefit of this forum. In every thread I see judgement, word twisting, bigotry and hatred and it affects my mental health and makes me fear for the world my child will come into because people are so unkind, discriminatory, intense and relentless. This is not a safe space in my experience.

Er? why are you here then?

DancedByTheLightOfTheMoon · 21/04/2023 15:07

Human nature at its best.

FloydPepper · 21/04/2023 16:31

LaMaG · 21/04/2023 14:52

I would say there are toxic elements but on balance I'd say no. I posted only once for family related advice and got really helpful supportive info. But I'm new to MN and never been on social media, still only viewing the occasional thread.

What strikes me is the immediate "just take the kids and leave him" response to almost every relationship post. Fair enough in abusive situations but it seems like the solution to every little domestic problem. As if the male partner is automatically wrong. Surely there are 2 sides to every story.

You are new arent you

the first rule of mumsnet is that the man is to blame. If he’s not, you can make up anything you want in order to make it so.

FloydPepper · 21/04/2023 16:32

Neededanewuserhandle · 21/04/2023 15:04

You! 😂

Show quote history

No I was a bit twatty but I wasn’t nt anywhere near first on this occasion

potniatheron · 21/04/2023 16:53

I like it here. Sure AIBU can get snippy sometimes. My theory is that we women (especially mothers) are under such social pressure to #bekind all the time, to bite our tongues, pick up the slack, be nice. So it's not surprising that sometimes people get on here and let rip a bit.

On the whole I prefer the straight talking of mumsnet to other places like reddit, where posters get hugboxed and 'validated' even when they're making the most clearly horrendous life decisions.

MissMaple82 · 21/04/2023 17:28

Thars social media for you. Its all toxic!

WhatTheHeckyPeck · 21/04/2023 17:35

AIBU child's play compared to the Stepparent's board. The vipers really come out of their holes on that one.

TheLostNights · 21/04/2023 17:57

Just take it all with a pinch of salt. I agree some take their anger or frustration with their lives onto here. Have seen some vile comments and daily pile ons towards OP's. Completely unnecessary. Just because someone is behind a screen and you can't see them, does not mean there isn't a human being taking in all those words. You never know how much it could negatively impact on them.

getafringenotbotox · 21/04/2023 18:24

It can be but it can also be really helpful and nice. You get twats everywhere.

Mumsnet saved me from bankruptcy a few years ago when my ex left the country and I was left with a mortgage on a house I wasn't living in.

It's also helped me with csa and access advice.

I always try and be kind when I post as you just don't know when someone is on their last nerve either something

Twonewcats · 21/04/2023 23:48

I've thought that regularly.

And today I've called someone out for their unpleasant comments on the "scared of the dark" thread on telly addicts, but apparently I'm out of line because it was a "nice thread" until then. So the person being an arse isn't at fault - I am for daring to point out the ableist language

Friarclose · 21/04/2023 23:53

I hate when you post something and some busybody looks up your user name and within minutes knows everything you've ever posted. I don't start threads anymore for that reason.

CountingMareep · 22/04/2023 00:00

ApolloandDaphne · 21/04/2023 14:03

It can be toxic. The trick is not to mistake it for real life. I take everything on here with a pinch of salt and I am really choosy about what I post.

I suspect a lot of it is completely made up, including most of the heart-tugging posts.

BIWI · 22/04/2023 00:01

Friarclose · 21/04/2023 23:53

I hate when you post something and some busybody looks up your user name and within minutes knows everything you've ever posted. I don't start threads anymore for that reason.

Well - tbh, you'd have to ask why someone would be AS you. You must have posted something a bit dubious!

Noicant · 22/04/2023 00:04

Sometimes. A lot of the time though it’s women supporting women, there aren’t really many other places for that on the internet. I always think mumsnet has probably saved a fair few womens lives. So I’ll take the rough with the smooth.