I've baked my last cake

[Anycrispsleft]

I live in Germany (not by choice, DH got a job here after redundancy). I have two preteen girls and I work about 45 hours a week. Averagely busy. Like I would guess most working parents, particularly mums, most my the weekend is taken up with housework, shopping, home admin etc.

We get frequent (once every 2 months or so) requests from school and the kids' hobbies to bake cakes for cake sales. I've done probably like about 50 cakes at this point. I've never liked it - I don't enjoy baking very much, or having to give up my own time, and I don't think we should anyway be asking strangers for money for things like the kids' school trips when most of the parents in our area are pretty well off (and I would happily offer to cover the costs for another child and have offered to do that in the past).

The latest request came in over Easter and we were away so I didn't see it till I was on the way home. Now I've just got a WhatsApp from the bake sale organiser telling me I have passed the deadline for replying and what cake am I supplying?

AIBU to message her back saying I don't have any time, but here's my husband's number, they can ask him for once? Or just ignore? Or supply a last minute cake? I don't want to piss them off bc the kids enjoy the hobby. I just don't want to do it! I get to Subday night every week and all I have done is work. I don't want to do any more stuff I don't need to.

In lieu of fundraiser participation I will be making a cash donation for the amount my participation would have generated (over the course of the year).

I like to send this payment once, but you can also spread it out.

it costs money to make a cake. I’m a bake sale they do at least get all the money from the sale , but in many fundraisers they only get a percentage of the sales. Your participation also costs you in time. Then add in the ethics of asking other people to pay for your child’s activities if you can afford them yourself. just making a donation is logical choice.

Actually I've had a wicked lovely thought, make fruit scones.
The more raisins the better.
So many people here points upthread hate dried fruit. It's a thing.
But it could be like making terrible coffee in an office the first time you're asked...

😈

And Lidl/Aldi or Amazon for cake carriers.

Very true, I know lots of Germans who quite rightly refuse to eat raisins (aka the devil's boogers). This reminds me of a supper with Canadian friends where they served fucking raisin pie for pudding. Probably one of the top 5 worst things I've ever had to eat.

i find the anti-German sentiment here quite wearing, tbh. It's up there with the underlying agism that everyone goes all wide-eyed and "well, I don't notice it" about.

Too right @moonspiral can't believe I wrote that.

Just remembered at my kids' latest school bake sale, DS requested chocolate muffins with a packet of Oreos. DH baked them from a Dr Oetker packet and DS offered children a free Oreo with every muffin and was sold out in minutes.

Really? Calling somebody a cunt? And threating to throw in the windows? Charming!

completely off topic: have posted in chat for anyone in Germany who wants to talk about it?

Anyone in Germany care to chat? | Mumsnet

Misunderstandings and so on as expressed here are the reason so many people can offer Intercultural Communication Training and make money with it. Having worked, as a Brit, with Koreans and Chinese in Germany with mostly German and Dutch local employees i can fill a book with anecdotes.

If anyone is interested I’ve done both and the old fashioned way produces quite a different result. The texture is more open, somehow ‘bigger’, slightly lighter, but also richer tasting. More buttery. But that won’t be the case with all margarine. Lurpak spreadable works ok.

The risk is the mixture curdles while you’re whisking in the egg if you don’t do it a little at a time but you can add a spot of the flour in early if that happens (emergency). It takes a lot longer because of beating the egg in so gradually/ carefully. Some people do a teaspoon at a time but it works ok with a bit more than that.

Whisking the mixture with flour in makes the flour more glutenous and slightly tougher, which is partly why it’s not as light. You tend to have to add extra baking powder to compensate and it’s just mot quite as good. The structure and taste are different.

It really does taste and texture better like a proper old fashioned cake. Please try it before judging!

Just pop into Aldi and get something there to send in. Alternatively, just let them know that you don't have time at the moment. It's not an issue...

"Sorry, wir kommen gerade erst aus dem Urlaub. Das wird dieses Mal nix. Keine Zeit."

I wouldn't call anyone a "Fotze". Wtf? That message would make anyone come across as completely psychotic and possibly in need of some restraints.

It really does taste and texture better like a proper old fashioned cake. Please try it before judging!

I can’t see that anyone who replied to my original post has judged anyone on their cake making methods so I’m not sure why you’ve had to add your last sentence to your post.

I was taught this way at school more than 50 years ago and it’s the only way I ever make a sponge unless Im doing fatless sponge for eg. It’s also the way my mum and granny baked so I think it’s been on the go for a long time. I have seen the all in one method in cookery books and it’s usually described as being something you can make when time isn’t on your side which is why I referred to it as shortcut. In my original post I took a shortcut to describing how a sponge is made using the creaming butter and sugar together method of doing one because I was in a hurry but it’s really just creaming the butter and sugar together until it’s light and fluffy and has changed colour to a much paler colour than the original. After that you add some egg then a table spoon of flour until it’s incorporated but you have to be gentle so as not to knock the air out and it’s best done by folding in. Repeat until it’s all done then test if your mixture is a dropping consistency before deciding to add a wee splash of milk or not. You can also add vanilla extract but I don’t and if you want a chocolate sponge you add remove a tablespoon of flour whilst adding a tablespoon of cocoa.

Like you I’ve been baking too long to change my ways but I also have time on my side and I enjoy baking.

I’d reply saying sorry been away won’t be able to supply one on this occasion.

Or buy one and put it in, good luck!

No reason to be deliberately obtuse. The OP can get the stuff in the supermarket, the kits are easy, & the children need to learn to cook & clean up, they are it seems of pre teen age, so they might even enjoy it.
Yes the cooker may need wiping,
I am not implying the OP is incompetent, she says she usually makes a cake but is fed up of the extra work, fair enough.

I baked for a school fair. Once. And never again!
It was a huge cake, cost a fortune. Used real butter, unrefined sugar etc as I would in a cake I'd make for us as a family.

Some cut this HUGE cake up into MASSIVE slices.
And only charged 50p per slice! (12 slices =£6 taken).
The slices were also so big, people couldnt finish them. I bought one and couldn't finish mine either. So there was a lot of waste.

The end result, they took a LOT less for the cake than the ingredients cost. Never mind my time or electricity. And the wasted cake.
I was furious.

should have cut smaller sliced and charged £1 per slice. Still a bargain.

Anyway I vowed never again. Either bought cake or just donate money and save myself the stress.

Ooh I wish there was something like this when we first moved to Germany. We got some help in the beginning from colleagues but it was still a steep learning curve. I’m quite adaptable, having already been used to it the other way around, interacting often with people in uk who spoke English as their 2nd language, and I knew some German before we moved

Me too. This misses the point entirely. Men aren’t expected to do this and if they were they would just say fuck off. Quite rightly. AND they wouldn’t feel guilty.

This from the OP would make me never, ever do anything for them again:

Now I've just got a WhatsApp from the bake sale organiser telling me I have passed the deadline for replying and what cake am I supplying?

Or her husband could make it.

This is tough. I can't believe they kept asking for a cake. I would buy a cake. Or bake one from a boxed cake mix. I'm not confrontational so I wouldn't want to say no but I would do the bare minimum to check the box.

She's just recommending cakes she's tried ffs. Your reply is so very Mumsnet, projecting and berating someone for something they didn't actually say.

Seems a lot for them to expect this regular cake baking. Another vote from me for saying no this time. Give yourself a break and do not feel bad. "can't bake this time."

Why on earth are women expected to bake cakes?

I can’t see that anyone who replied to my original post has judged anyone on their cake making methods so I’m not sure why you’ve had to add your last sentence to your post.

I didn’t mean judging people I meant judging it didn’t make any noticeable difference or was a waste of time. Sorry if it came across like that.

How many slices in a cake, how much is each slice? Add that up, deduct the cost of the ingredients and pay that amount as a donation instead.

Your error was starting it fifty cakes ago. Just say "sorry, can't do it", then rock up to buy a slice someone else made.

I think you've done more than your fair share so far, I try to help out the school as much as possible. Baking, chaperoning on trips, volunteering at discos and events but sometimes I will be unable to make it due to work commitments I would never expect the school or parent council to personally contact me demanding I provide a service and if they did they wouldn't like the response. Email back and tell them politely, but in no uncertain terms that on this occasion you are unable to provide anything. You don't need to explain anything. As I tell my kids, and as I practise myself (perhaps when asked to work overtime or cover someone else's shift at work) NO is a complete sentence. You don't have to put yourself out for others, if you choose to help out then fine, but you are not obligated to put yourself out every time.