I messaged her back. I felt like I was a little on the back foot, as they had sent a letter home with a slip just as some of you have described (it's for a hobby BTW, not school this time) and I had ignored it. So I said I woukd do them one, but I don't have time really to do cakes so I won't be contributing in future. I also said I would be happy to contribute a bit of cash over the annual membership if costs are rising and she said it wasn't just about the money, it was about raising the profile of the Verein! Well, whatever. I will probably do a Dutch apple cake, I know a recipe for that - I also have to bake brownies tonight for the kids for school, as they have their birthday next week and guess what it is customary to bring to school when it's your birthday?
To answer some of the questions on this very entertaining thread:
I do know that Mary Berry recipe, it is a good suggestion, I've done it a couple of times! You name it I've baked it. I also struggle with the lack of self raising flour - you need to add a mixture of baking powder and baking soda I think it is, to get to sleep raising flour.
We live in a small town in Baden, which is definitely at the more conservative end of things. If this makes any sense as an explanation, it's like nobody really lives the Kinder, Küche, Kirche lifestyle but everyone seems to feel like they're the only ones that don't. I would say here people are less direct than in e.g. Berlin, still possibly more direct than in the UK, but for example my closest German friend would have been spitting chips about that WhatsApp message demanding a cake!
Some details that people keep asking about that I should clarify: the message was to me personally, The woman has the kids' numbers too but when they were smaller all communication from the hobby went through me and it still does apparently. This is actually the first time she has organised the cake sale, usually they are a bit more low key I think (although I've always given a cake in the past so who knows?) It's their hobby, not the school: as a PP observed it is usually only 2 or 3 times a year we get asked to do a cake for school, but then it's twice a year from their 3 hobbies as well and that's like 7 or 8 a year, times the 8 years I've been here works out to about 50 odd-cakes.
The cakes round here are bowfing, and all the bakeries will be shut long before I get out of work. I would love it if we had something like M&S here or any of the UK supermarkets- I actually bought the kids' birthday cakes in the UK this year and we drove them back with us.
DH and I split the home and house work probably about 60/40 which is partly because I was a SAHM till 2 years ago and it has taken time to adjust. He's taken on a lot of the housework now but these things he will just say a flat no to and tells me to do the same. But nobody will judge him for not baking a cake! As a PP said, it's pretty much expected from all the mums and the argument will go "Why should your kids benefit from new sports equipment etc bought with our cake money if you don't contribute?" Which I do understand, but attempts to just contribute money get batted away too.
To the PP that said I sound sick of the place and doing everything for everyone: you're absolutely right. I actually posted on here about it all a couple of years ago when I was thinking about whether to go back home and retrain as a teacher. But then I managed to get a job back in my old industry at the same level I left, and I work in Switzerland and the money is about double what I would earn in the UK, which is pretty attractive, specially as the cost of living in Germany is not high at all. The company has a big UK site and I think it would not be so hard to get a move once, I have colleagues over there I know from way back, but for now I would like to stay in Germany as the kids feel at home here. I do want to carve out a bit more of a life for myself now though, particularly as the kids are getting a bit older.