Anyone in Germany care to chat?

[Brefugee]

I got a bit (lot) sick of all the German-bashing in that cake thread, some of it comes from just not knowing anything about the place, some of it is a kind of unwillingness to understand that things can be very different in other places.

There was a fair bit of niggling about how Brits might think German directness is rude - but as pp pointed out, Germans would think it rude if you walked into a waiting room at the Doctor's surgery without saying "morgen zusammen"

There was also German Cake Bashing (😂) at one point.

So. Anyone care just to have a long running thread for the expats/immigrants/Germans here who are in Germany, or from Germany and missing/not missing it, or are thinking of coming here?

Yes me 💁🏼‍♀️
I missed the cake thread (not sure I really need to catch up on it though from your description!) find it interesting though as I often see Germany talked about on here in a very positive light!

Anyway, I actually talked a while ago about starting a thread (over in Overseas) for all in Germany and never got round to it so here I am!

I live in Hessen, near Frankfurt, have been here for over 20 years and am originally from Wales 😊

Ah maybe we should get this moved to Overseas, i never thought of that.

I'm in NRW near Mönchengladbach and have been here for 20 years, but I've been working round these parts since 1990 and was in the Army and a military brat over here before then :)

I did spend a year as a Wochenpendler working in Frankfurt, i miss it a lot.

I’m next door ( also German speaking country).
We also have cake and probably rudeness, can’t say I notice now tbh. I like the directness anyway, makes it easy to get a proper answer.

My family and friends back ‘home’ are mind boggled that we work in Tech and have ‘modern day’ lifestyle. They think we should all be playing Mozart all day and dancing to the sound of music.

We do like a bit of Strüdel

I was on the cake thread as I agree, I am also expected to bake cakes for kindergarten and things but I'm a SAHM so feel I can't say no as I have lots of time, (DH pays for a cleaner and gardener). Been here for 8 years, though I still have a flat where I can stay in London, but I can't go over that much as I have the DC to look after, age 6 and 8, I can't leave them with DH as he works so much, well paid job, will have to wait until they are older and I can go to UK on my own. I'm in the North, almost at Denmark border.

🙋‍♀️
I am from Germany but have been living in the UK for 20 odd years!
As for German directness- I have had my fair share of trouble especially as I am fluent in English (no acent) and it takes people by surprise that I am not a native speaker 😆

Talk about um den heißen Brei reden

So is anyone else a Brexit German like me? been here so long and nothing to go back for, so got German citizenship (in time to keep British too). My DCs were born and went to school here, and have now left home. They have no intention of moving to UK but do say they're more British. Mostly because the media etc they consume is mostly in English.

I do find the excruciating traditionalness of a lot of German life painful, but it is so modern in others. 20-odd years ago when DH took 18 months parental leave it was fairly normal here that he'd do at least 6 months. But our friends/family in UK were shocked it was available. And i also tend to think that while each state has its own foibles - Bayern is very different to Schleswig-Holstein in many respects, the biggest difference is between city and rural life.

when i started my current job, the senior partner sent everyone i would be working with one of those lists of "things Brits say - and what they mean" 😂
I'd been used to getting away with telling people, in a very British way, to get stuffed so that they didn't actually realise it until long after I'd left the room.

I've been more than 30 years in Dresden - at first fully immersed in East German culture but lately with a bf from Dortmund, which has been an eye-opener :)
Was off that thread for a while as I went to the baker's and stuffed myself with Quarkbällchen.
Followed Liam Carpenter on Instagram lately and I like his style of gently taking the mickey out of Germans but without a shred of malice or xenophobia - the Brit often comes off worse. Foil Arms and Hog also have a few similarly funny things.

Interesting thread. I'm British with a German husband. His directness has been a source of conflict. It took us a long time to understand each other.

😂 I would have loved to be a fly on the wall! - especially when they realised what you ment!
But be careful, sarcasm is also a German trade, the kind that most English speakers don't understand.

I love language & culture- I am an linguist by heart...

The quietness really irritates me. He thinks I'm really loud and finds this especially annoying in public when I missy say anything he considered personal in earshot of other humans. He was born in east Germany before the wall came down. I really think having come from an East German family makes him extra conscious of this. Also my in laws levels of tidiness is just insane. They really live up to stereotype. Oh and house shoes...god forbid I forget them and ho bare foot!

Loads of typos there!

We used to have German chat threads on the Living Overseas board! I liked them :)

I am also finding a weird mix between traditional and modern. DH took 4/5 months paternity leave with DS2 and 3 but now it's taking so ridiculously long to settle DS3 into Kita and they just cancel fulltime care all the time so I have no idea how I'm meant to get a job!

Yes I'm also a Brexit German!
I always used to think I would go back at some point but certainly wouldn't now. I love and miss so much about the UK but unfortunately the negatives outweigh all of that when it comes to actually living there.

My kids are still young as well and just in kindergarten, Grundschule and 5th grade...the eldest two struggle a bit with their identity tbh as DH is from a third country but on the whole they definitely feel more German

The trouble is when you have a foreign partner, you don't know what's their nationality and what's just them. It works both ways, of course. Quite a few of the things about my ex-husband I put up with as German, or East German, turned out to just be him!

I love Liam Carpenter! I was wondering if that's where the comment about the doctor's waiting room upthread came from as he posted about that the other day

I was wondering if that's where the comment about the doctor's waiting room upthread came from as he posted about that the other day
Yes, that was me brought it up - the sketch reminded of the phenomenon :) I'm so used to it myself it feels normal.

Ah yes it's totally normal for me now too. Also the introducing yourself to everyone in a room at a party/event. I was a work event today at lunch time where this happened, it's been so long because of Covid that I had almost forgot 😂

Also interesting to consider the differences in culture throughout the country. Because I've been in and around Frankfurt for all my time here the majority of my friends are from immigrant or expat backgrounds. I think I have 4 close German friends, the rest all have migrationshintergrund which is very typical for this area. So there are actually lots of different stereotypes in my life!

My husband grew up in Germany, not far from the French border, his mother still lives there although she’s not German by birth. I love to visit, such lovely traditions.

I remember being tickled by the fact that he owned cake forks when we moved in together 😂

Hi everyone! I'm German but have been living in the UK for the past...15 years I think. DH is from Kent. I'm definitely looking back slightly more rose tinted glasses than I used to - absence makes the heart grow fonder etc. Wouldn't go back though, except perhaps to have a reliable source of quality bread. God, I miss good bakeries.

Food I have not found in Germany,,,, (but if you have seen it please let me know).

Cadbury's Creme eggs
Monster Munch (in fact any crisps by Walkers)
Ginger Nut biscuits, Custard Creams, Malted Milks, bourbons
Mince pies at Christmas
Gravy granules
Self raising flour
Heinz salad cream
Blocks of cheese without that hard bit of wax round the outside
Crumpets
Stuffing mix to go with a roast
Tea bags in multipacks of 480

@Pollywoddles - we went back to Uk recently. My toddler was very confused by lack of cake fork when at family house.

British supermarket has free delivery before Easter. We stocked up on bisto gravy granules, stem ginger and English mustard. An extortionately expensive bag of twiglets also went in!

Monster Munch (in fact any crisps by Walkers)

Not seen Monster Munch but are Lays crisps not Walkers?

I lived in Bavaria for nine years. Now back in the uk. We have cake forks!