Holiday accommodation & DD

[PotsAndDishes]

Before I roll out my picnic blanket to sit on the proverbial hill I’m choosing to metaphorically die on, AIBU?

We’re going away on holiday with extended family in June. Accommodation is a large villa with additional connected apartments, but with separate entrances. There’s also a pool which is unfenced. Current proposal is that those with young kids (<3) take the apartments, thus ring fencing the kerfuffle at 6:30am when they all wake up, and letting those in the main house get a bit of a holiday lie in.

I have said, OK, makes sense but obviously either DH or I will effectively go to bed with DD (2) each night because I don’t want to leave her by herself in a different building (separate entrances) with potential hazards around (unfenced pool, one apt is up stone steps with a balcony, what if the air con catches fire).

According to the in-laws, I’m being TOTALLY unreasonable, PFB-esque, nothing will happen to her, just lock all of the doors so she can’t get out, it’s no different to her being asleep upstairs in the house, I’m creating a rod for my own back, just whack on a baby monitor, blah blah blah.

So, AIBU? Should I chill out, take the monitor, hope it stretches and enjoy my evenings in the main villa?
Or AINBU and leaving a 2 year old asleep locked in a different building isn’t really OK?

Can we have a cameo from Uncle Eric on MumsNet to get his opinion? 😀

I wouldn't leave her alone. But I would just keep her with me, letting her crash out at any time.

You aren't being unreasonable in the slightest. And what really FUCKS me off is people constantly trying to change your parenting!!! My child was rear facing for quite a while (was fine, happy, not bothered at all) oh wow it used to wind my parents and sister up so much. I actually don't understand. You're trying to keep your little one safe. Why do family members constantly try and go against what we as parents have chosen.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Only thing that's unreasonable is your in laws making such a big deal out of your parenting choices. Do you have to go?

This!!!

This right here!!

this sounds pretty realistic to me. At least your expectations aren't too high. Plan something lovely for when you get back, even just a day to yourself going somewhere nice. your nerves will be shot. hope you and DH are ok. i can't tell whether he has your back or not.

Your FIL sounds like mine. A vocally judgmental twat.

This is why your better with the studio and your own kettle / fridge. It's somewhere to escape too.

If LO sleeps and can be moved when you go to bed great - if she doesn't well you have to take her back to your own apartment.

I do think big family holidays work for some families but not others.

ODFOD

This has been picked up by The Mirror @PotsAndDishes

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/my-laws-want-toddler-sleep-29742512?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=mirror_main&fbclid=IwAR2wwC5YwdcHoKSRwIwun0s2WgomaTFpHDgdm1q2zurj5UjK-OzQrgQkgTw#lgmj0ijw0283nahmc6wm

Take it from me and my family’s dramas re this set up, I think they’d rather stick pins in their eyes than do this again, but DB’s in-laws, one’s a paraplegic and they go on holiday, usually separately, have been all together to give the MIL a break. A bit of tension and drama have ensued exactly to the issues you’ve stated.

A nice idea in principle but in general even if you think you’re all going to get along it rarely works out that way! Tough luck if someone sells it as a cheaper, one big happy family holiday! I think a short break is potentially maybe workable however.

Let her sleep in her pushchair next to you! That's what everyone does on holiday. Then just put her to bed when you go. You're surely not going to leave everyone at 7pm or whenever every night to go to your room?!

People become far too relaxed on holiday and seem to think that bad things don’t happen there. But it is these occasions when bad things do happen. Remind them of Madeline McCann. Sure her parents thought everything would be fine too.

This will go poof soon then for privacy issues

I couldn't do it either

Agree that the pool is more the issue. Please consider a safety mechanism like on e of those alarms you can put in the pool and goes off if someone falls in.

2 words.... Maddie. Mccan. What your family is suggesting actually seems even worse than what her parents did and we all know how that turned out 🤷‍♀️

@LBFseBrom ah yes, us stupid parents with early risers…..why haven’t we ever thought about putting them to bed later?

Newsflash - many kids have strong internal alarm clocks and putting them to bed later means they still wake up at same time but have just had a few hours less sleep!

Blossomtoes
”Not really if they’re paying the majority of the cost. And if you go on a big family holiday there obviously has to be negotiation on accommodation allocation.”

Bollocks does there. You’d seriously compromise your childrens’ safety because someone else was paying?

Of course not. That was a response to a completely different point. Shame you didn’t quote really but of course that would have made your post nonsensical. 🤷‍♀️

Blossomtoes · Today 10:59
FrenchandSaunders · Today 10:44

Your in laws need to reign their necks in ..... it's up to and DH to decide what you are comfortable with regarding YOUR DD. None of their business.”

Not really if they’re paying the majority of the cost. And if you go on a big family holiday there obviously has to be negotiation on accommodation allocation.”

OK. Quoted both. You’re still wrong. Doesn’t matter who pays and what they think. OP’s children. What she says goes.

@Beyondbaffled I just read that article (thx 4 the link) and the author has used some artistic license describing the Op as “livid.” No where on this thread has the Op said she was livid or angry. She asked if she’s being unreasonable and should just chill out and go with the flow.

And @ all pp trying to make the Op paranoid about the pool. Odfo.

None of you have made any practical suggestions to increase safety, you just want to cause increased anxiety.

I’m from Australia too (aimed at Aussie pp) and sure we have tough regulations around fenced pools. But we still have the unfenced ocean, lakes, rivers, ponds, water fountains etc.
Plenty of families are aware of how to keep their young children safe around water. I am sure the Op is capable of keeping her dd safe. So, make some practical suggestions or back the hell off.

I can see why unencumbered couples/singles would want the main property. But at the same time...families need the space more. I'd say 3 families and 2 couples/adult bedrooms in the main house would mean evenings can be spent in the main villa and then adults can go off to their apartments to have their lay in. Having the main villa for the majority of the people then means as adults with children you can still mix with the main group. You can get up in the morning, taking turns to entertain and feed the children etc in the reception spaces. Whereas in apartments you will each end up awake every morning with the children. You can't give DH a break or he you and the same goes for the other 2 families.

I can see why uncle Eric wants the nice plush rooms and more space but the reality is that the families need the space more than couples or individuals do. I didn't note how many children there were going. But even if it is only 3, that means upto 13 people in the villa and 3 couples in APTS. Or only 9/10 people in the villa and the families crammed into the apartments.

I imagine they will swap the rooms once they get woken with the kids playing in the garden.