Relatives Overload

[Autumnequinox]

My DH and I are lucky enough to live in a lovely, if remote part of the UK. We live quite far from most of the near and close family.
We have worked bloody hard to pay off mortgage early and we have managed it - nice large rural house with land. We both work full time and we are working towards retirement in next few years. AIBU in that all the relatives descend at regular intervals and grab themselves a free holiday!
Christmas, Easter, Bank holidays, school holidays get booked! Visitors expect to be collected from Airport and ferried around and entertained all week. I usually book a few days holiday, then return to work as I don't want to use up my precious holidays being a tour guide.
Preparation consists of cleaning, getting guest rooms ready and usually spend about £200 on groceries. The rest of the time is cooking, cleaning and planning activities, also transporting them to activities. DH doesn't help much.
My grateful SIL gave me £30 to contribute to the weeks food budget on last visit - Raging!
I love them all and want to see them, but I am getting more and more resentful each time. AIBU??

You’re obviously conflicted as these are people you like and don’t want to be discouraging towards. I’m assuming all the visitors are aware of all those who visit as well as them? If so they should have their own sensitive thoughts towards how this impacts you in terms of the burden on your time. If I was visiting someone I would definitely make my own arrangements to get to their door. I would appreciate the hospitality and at least lessen the burden in that way. Also be much more realistic about financial offers. You say you like the idea of a cabin or caravan. Are you sure you want to legitimise the situation this way? You would still have to host and not have time to yourself in your own home. I think you should assert your space needs and block out time when there are to be no visitors. If that’s say a whole year then so be it.

We moved to Devon from London following a catastrophic bereavement - the tragic death of my eldest son. In the first year we had twenty (yes 20) lots of visitors. There’d be people leaving passing new arrivals on the path. It’s a thing. People invite themselves. They think if you live in a holiday area you’re on holiday. By the second year I’d wised up. When one person invited himself again - fourth visit) I said ‘no, I’m sorry, we’d like to go away ourselves this half- term, he objected, genuinely puzzled ‘But you ARE away’. So those of you giving the OP a hard time, saying no is hard. It goes against your instincts of hospitality and kindness and friendship. You have to LEARN how to do it. I found ‘but I think it’s OUR turn to come to you’ worked well with some people though. Good luck OP. I know exactly what it’s like.

My sister moved to a big house with spare rooms, a good 5 -6 hour drive. So, people want to stay for longer. She is very kind, not confrontational etc and the extra guests cost a bomb. Some family recognised this and pay towards things, we are v grateful for the holiday and so always pay for some meals/ take loads of wine/ flowers etc. One family member, not so much and moans about the cost of petrol travelling there!
Send out a family WhatsApp and say that going forward, you can’t take time off just to entertain and the cost has become prohibitive so the Hotel Autumn has now closed.

Visit them instead.

Why not tell your family whilst you absolutely love seeing them , trying to work and host their stay means you don’t get quality time together Ask if you could possibly holiday together somewhere else so you could all enjoy that precious time

JUST SAY NO!!!!
It doesn't work for us, sorry.
What can they do???
If they never talk to you again , then result. They were using wankers.
What are you so afraid of? Ask your self that.
If they push
Say.. it's all too much and Iv got a lot of work on right now.

I voted you are being unreasonable because you are allowing it to happen. Put your foot down .

I understand why you now find it difficult to introduce new 'rules' now after this happened. When I lived in France I loved seeing people who came to visit but I didn't want to be a tour guide, it was exhausting. I can only suggest you now don't take off time to ferry them around. Lock up your valuables, don't get any extra food in and stay at work all the time, just say you can't get the time off. They will either love it or loathe it - either way you will break the pattern. Then you can reestablish new boundaries to suit everyone.

You're being unreasonable in not saying no to them.
How about, "this year, instead of entertaining everyone at our home, why don't we all meet you somewhere? That way we see each other and ALL get a holiday"

This.