To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

[ladydorito]

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

Thinking of you and your family and sending love.

My son had a short femur too, I am under 5'2 with short legs long torso so I don't think it's necessarily means health issue nor our midwife was particularly concerned about my pregnancy at the time. My son is a 5'8 15 years old boy now. Try not to worry about something unknown and have no control of, enjoy the rest of your pregnancy 💐

Hi OP,

I've got one of the skeletal dysplasias (not dwarfism / achondroplasia). I wouldn't wish it on anyone else, but I live quite a normal life. There are treatments which help - but do not cure - my condition. In the case of my condition, the majority are mild, the vast majority of cases are non-fatal, and even some of those that would once have been fatal are now surviving (albeit, at the most severe end, with a huge amount of medical intervention that I don't think I'd choose for myself).

I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs

This might be connected; there are possibilities here
a) you're completely healthy and just have slightly unusual proportions, which you've passed on
b) you've got a health condition which has gone undiagnosed; it's shocking how often these things are missed and (especially in the case of rare disorders) a series of symptoms are all just dismissed as coincidence by non-specialists (and occasionally specialists too). It happened in my family; three generations and 90 years from it first appearing until first diagnosis!

I would ask for a referral to medical genetics if there is a suspicion that this is an inherited disorder - for you, for this pregnancy, and for any future pregnancies.

Another one just posting to say thinking of you and that I hope the appointment went well OP.

Me too x

Everything crossed for you OP, All the best

I'm so sorry that you are going through this but wanted to share my experience with you. My DS measured small at our 20 week scan and as a result I was scanned twice a week until he was delivered. It is a very anxious time but fast forward to delivery and he was born at 6lbs 9oz and absolutely fine.

Scans aren't always accurate and I really hope you have a smooth pregnancy/delivery from here on, with no more surprise news.

Everything crossed for you OP. 💐

My little grandson had almost identical measurements... 2nd centile femurs, 99th centile head..and a big tummy! They were a bit worried.

However when he was born... yep.. big head, very short thighs and a fat tummy....and absolutely fine (well horrid birth and a spell in NICU but that was nothing to do with his measurments and just a rotten delivery)

He's 2 this weekend. He's short... 1st -3rd centile short. He still has a big head... short, chunky and absolutely fine!!!! Developing perfectly and he'll grow into his head eventually :) My own son had similar proportions (and was referred)... he's an average height adult and he definitely grew into his head )

I really hope all is ok ❤️

@ladydorito How's things?

Not had time to RTFT, but wanted to say that I really empathise, having had worrying news in my pregnancy.

A friend was in the same situation as you and it turned out that the measurements were wrong.

I’d say try not to worry, but I know it’s impossible. Just remember that ‘come what, come may, time and the hour pass through the roughest day’. I’ve probably garbled that quote, but you get the idea. Thinking of you.

Oh bless you. when I had my babies (30 years ish ago) I remember scan saying that my son had a huge head... of high percentile - not matching the dates etc - and too much amniotic fluid - Polyhydramnious (?) which I read up as can mean brain damaged... But he wasnt't born with either a huge head or brain damage. Daughter, very small... low percentile... On the chart it forecast that she would only ever reach 4ft9" in adulthood. She is 5ft. I am only 5ft. So much worry for nothing. We are all different. Scans are great but cause so much unnecessary worry, particularly with google nowadays. If I had had google, I think I would have had a breakdown with both pregnancies. Your baby will be fine. Sending love xxx

Awww bless you, and yoh know the worst thing is to Google stuff. We were told one of our twin girls wasn't growing properly and that she had twisted limbs foot hand and neck. Anyway after a normal birth turned out she's fine all over had one foot bent a bit and got corrected and now a healthy walking 1 year old. They had specalist ready for when I have birth to get her and his face of surprise when a normal baby appeared after being told she wasn't was a sight to see. And even if we did spend years going for treatments we would love her the exact same .Dont worry to much your little one has a lovely mummy who needs to stay strong

Thinking of you and your family today. Sending you lots of love xx

Only just seen your original post, and wanted to come on to say I hope all goes well today and you can relax a bit and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy x

❤️❤️ thinking of you x

You have NOT failed your baby. Please don't be too hard on yourself through this xxxx

Thinking of you x

I don't want to minimise your worry, but I was told my 3rd son had an abnormally large head during my 20 week scan, had to go back 2 weeks later to find it was completely normal! Fingers crossed it's the same for you x

Sending you my best wishes OP xx Hope you are okay

Ah, just read this and want to add my voice to the many others. Huge hand-hold, do let us know and in the meantime lots and lots of positive thoughts.

Wishing you and your baby all the best

I hope everything went as well as it possibly could today

Hope all went well today, sending you love ❤️ x