To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

[ladydorito]

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

Wishing you the best xxx

Thinking of you today OP xx

Thinking of you today x

My son's femur measured small but I'm 5ft 2 with short legs and his dads not exactly tall. He was born at 36 weeks weighing 5lb 1. Completely perfect and healthy.

Don't stress yourself about it until you know more and remember Google is the enemy, I drove myself sick with worry constantly googling every little thing and finding the worst case scenario. I now wish I hadn't wasted so much time scaring myself.

I hope today has brought the answers you want and need, OP.

It's also worth noting that measurements can be rather inaccurate.

My 92nd percentile baby came out on her due date at 7lb6oz.....

Virtual handhold being sent x

Just wanted to add my support here for you today @ladydorito

Hope you got some reassurance today or at least more information so you know what you’re dealing with

Ah OP. Sending love and prayers that it all went ok this afternoon xx

Thinking of you OP x

So sorry you’re going through this worry OP.

Just to let you know small femur length and larger head size can also be due to IUGR - intrauterine growth retardation. My DD1 suffered from this in my pregnancy and the reason being that as the body is being starved of oxygen and nutrients all energy continues to be pumped to the brain so the head is bigger than the abdomen and femur.

My DD was born (induced) at 37 weeks, she was tiny but healthy.

Wishing you and your precious baby all the very best x

Thinking of you

Hoping the three of you are all ok x

Hope it goes well today xxx
For what it’s worth, mistakes are very common with these scans, several friends had false alarms.

Hope all went well today OP!

Sending support ❤️

Thinking of you OP. I hope it’s good news ♥️

Thinking of you OP

Sending a big hug your way OP. At our 32 week scan we were told our baby had gone from normal to 1% on the scale, specifically on his stomach. We had 5 weeks of almost daily scans, heart monitoring, and he was also breach so I barely ever felt movement, Frankly we didn't know if he would make it, if he would go to the NICU like our daughter, or if there were genetic abnormalities at play. Even after birth, he had a large birthmark associated with a syndrome (PHACES), and underwent months of testing. It is a rollercoaster of emotions, and no one can tell you how to feel. On one hand you are excited for a new baby, on the other hand, you don't know what is coming either way, and that means you can't prepare, which is unsettling. Ultimately it isn't like you will send him back, and I kept having to repeat that when trying to replace the unsettled feeling. For the last few weeks I sought treatment from a mental help specialist as I need to talk to someone about it, and not my husband, if you can do that, i'd try it. The unknown was the scariest part for me, but once he arrived, it all clicked into place. Just remember that measurements on average are 20% wrong, at least. You will be closely monitored, so with a few measurements under your belt, you will get to an "average" point, but the initial one is the scariest as there is nothing to bench it against. Sending best wishes that in a few months you are enjoying your moments together as a bigger family x

Hoping all is well. Scans can be really out sometimes. I was told mum DD was on the 98th centile and that she was going to be over 10lbs based on femur length and she was born at 8lbs.

Thinking of you OP 😘

Good luck xx

I really hope everything has gone well for you

Please try not to think the worst, you are short with short legs your baby will probably be just the same.
This is the huge problem with scans, we are all different shapes and sizes leg head and arm sizes, ultrasound does not allow for this much, also it can be quite imprecise.