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To ask for a handhold? Worrying news about unborn baby at 31 weeks

498 replies

ladydorito · 17/04/2023 08:31

Hi everyone, I'm posting here for traffic, I'm really sorry.

Yesterday I had what I thought was a "routine" growth scan following a period of changed movements at 30+6 weeks. The "good" news is that baby has moved into breech which explains the change in movements.

The bad news is, having had their femur length measure short but not worryingly so throughout pregnancy, baby's femur is now on the first percentile. This, coupled with a large head measurement (on the 92nd percentile) has resulted in a referral to fetal medicine. The specialist can't see us until Wednesday and I just have no idea how to get through the next 48 hours.

The team at our hospital were lovely yesterday. I spoke to a registrar who went through what the various causes of this could be. I'm short (5"2) with particularly short legs (although I wouldn't say 99 percent of people have longer..
) and was born two weeks late weighing only 6lbs so there's a decent chance I'm simply carrying a short baby like me.

But we've also been told this could be a soft marker for undiagnosed Downs or one of the other trisomys. The idea of getting this far in pregnancy and having that missed makes me feel sick. We could cope with a baby with Downs, it isn't what any mum would hope for but they will be showered with love always. But the idea of the baby having one of the non life compatible trisomys has worried me to the point I've been throwing up this morning.

Skeletal dysplasia has also been mentioned - I thought this just meant what I understand as dwarfism, which DH and I would be totally fine with, it would obviously be an adjustment but not life limiting or even massively life changing from what I have read. But now I've fallen down the rabbit hole and am reading about other dysplasias that are incompatible with life and again, the idea of bringing a child to term who will not survive is just beyond unbearable.

I can feel little one kicking me as I type and I feel like I've failed them so much for even thinking about the worst case scenarios. This is our much longed for first baby and after a terrible first trimester with a hematoma that just bled and bled, we really thought we were at the point we could enjoy pregnancy.

In a twist so cruel it's almost funny, all our nursery furniture is due to arrive from Mamas and Papas this morning.

I'm so sorry about how long this is but I think I'm just asking for a handhold or even advice from anyone who has been through similar.

Thank you so much. X

OP posts:
Coulditreallybe · 19/04/2023 18:36

Hope you’re ok @ladydorito x

Noodlehen · 19/04/2023 18:38

Thinking of you, hope all went ok!

Danielle8p · 19/04/2023 18:38

@ladydorito i hope the news is good and that your OK x

PurplePlayhouse · 19/04/2023 18:43

The measurements you get are all over the show. My first appeared to be a huge baby based on all of the measurements. Ended up giving birth at 36 weeks and was a 5 pounder and tiny. Is still small for age.

My other one had average measurements and came out absolutely massive. 9lb 2, huge head and ripped me apart 😁 This one is still huge! Will be 6ft 4" at full adult height if they continue to follow their line. More than a foot taller than their 'supposed to be huge' elder sibling.

Gilmorehill · 19/04/2023 18:44

Hope all went well Op. I had a lot of stress late in my first pregnancy as my baby stopped growing. I had an elective c section as my obstetrician didn’t want to wait any longer. He was born healthy and well.

Mummapenguin20 · 19/04/2023 18:44

Hope all is ok

GettingThereCharleyBear · 19/04/2023 18:46

Hope you received some reassurance at hospital today x

Puppers · 19/04/2023 18:47

Hope you are alright @ladydorito. Thinking of you 💐

ladydimitrescu · 19/04/2023 18:50

Thinking of you Flowers

MMUmum · 19/04/2023 18:58

I was told all along that DD would be small and she was, 5lb 7.5ozs at 37 weeks, she was tiny. She's 20 now, 5'2'', judo brown belt, very strong swimmer and a qualified lifeguard, please try not to worry, there's every chance baby will be fine 🥰🥰

Angebot · 19/04/2023 19:05

This must be awful for you

I can remember having an amniocentesis as I was high risk for downs. The 3 days of waiting was awful.
There isn't anything I can add that's going to make u feel better . Just try to keep your mind busy

It all worked out OK in the end for me but there was a risk of downs and Edwards syndrome and I could barely think of getting past what I would have done.

NewBrightonEel · 19/04/2023 19:11

Sending love to you OP 🌷

girlswillbegirls · 19/04/2023 19:15

Thinking of you OP ❤

Joystir59 · 19/04/2023 19:23

Hoping you received positive news today

MargotBamborough · 19/04/2023 19:24

Thinking of you, OP x

momtoboys · 19/04/2023 19:25

I really don’t have any advice but am thinking of you and baby and hoping all is well.

ladydorito · 19/04/2023 19:27

Hello everyone, we are home and I just feel so overwhelmed by all these lovely messages. Mums are just the best and I feel so lucky to soon be joining the club.

We've had some really positive news. Our lovely consultant was very clear: he thinks we are having a healthy, happy baby who is just small like mum (and Grandma, and Grandad, and so on!)

One femur is now measuring as small but normal (seventh percentile), the other is still on first - but because baby is breech he said he was really unconfident of that measurement being totally accurate and much more confident that the "normal" femur measurement is the correct one. Humerus is also measuring at or just under one per cent, but the other long bones are measuring broadly normal and in proportion albeit on the smaller side.

He couldn't see a single other worrying marker for Downs or serious skeletal dysplasia, offered me an amino if I wanted one for peace of mind but stressed he didn't think it was necessary and I declined due to the early labour risk.

Only thing he couldn't rule out is achondroplasia (most common form of "dwarfism" which is not life limiting and does not indicate any intellectual disability) but he still stressed it's unlikely as I don't meet the threshold needed to run further tests which is reassuring, although, as I said to him, that wouldn't be a diagnosis either of us would find especially upsetting even if it did come to pass.

I'm being rescanned in three weeks by him but for now have been told to carry on as normal assuming that little one is happy and healthy.

We are both so relieved and went to Waterstones straight after to celebrate by adding to baby's growing book collection, and tomorrow we are putting up the nursery furniture I've not been able to look at (literally had the door closed) for three days.

Thank you again so so much everyone. This really is a special place amid all the madness sometimes! I'll be sure to update with a picture when my little monkey makes their grand arrival... ❤️

OP posts:
Backtoblack1 · 19/04/2023 19:27

Really hope all went ok for you today xx

Peapodburgundybouquet · 19/04/2023 19:28

ladydorito · 19/04/2023 19:27

Hello everyone, we are home and I just feel so overwhelmed by all these lovely messages. Mums are just the best and I feel so lucky to soon be joining the club.

We've had some really positive news. Our lovely consultant was very clear: he thinks we are having a healthy, happy baby who is just small like mum (and Grandma, and Grandad, and so on!)

One femur is now measuring as small but normal (seventh percentile), the other is still on first - but because baby is breech he said he was really unconfident of that measurement being totally accurate and much more confident that the "normal" femur measurement is the correct one. Humerus is also measuring at or just under one per cent, but the other long bones are measuring broadly normal and in proportion albeit on the smaller side.

He couldn't see a single other worrying marker for Downs or serious skeletal dysplasia, offered me an amino if I wanted one for peace of mind but stressed he didn't think it was necessary and I declined due to the early labour risk.

Only thing he couldn't rule out is achondroplasia (most common form of "dwarfism" which is not life limiting and does not indicate any intellectual disability) but he still stressed it's unlikely as I don't meet the threshold needed to run further tests which is reassuring, although, as I said to him, that wouldn't be a diagnosis either of us would find especially upsetting even if it did come to pass.

I'm being rescanned in three weeks by him but for now have been told to carry on as normal assuming that little one is happy and healthy.

We are both so relieved and went to Waterstones straight after to celebrate by adding to baby's growing book collection, and tomorrow we are putting up the nursery furniture I've not been able to look at (literally had the door closed) for three days.

Thank you again so so much everyone. This really is a special place amid all the madness sometimes! I'll be sure to update with a picture when my little monkey makes their grand arrival... ❤️

Really positive news.

MargotBamborough · 19/04/2023 19:29

Oh that's wonderful news. Hope you can relax a bit now.

Silene · 19/04/2023 19:30

Great! that's lovely news, was hoping you.'d feel able to update all of us MN aunties! hugs xxx

Mummynew08 · 19/04/2023 19:30

That's a really lovely update, I've been reading and lurking, I actually welled up a bit reading that last post, so relieved for you. You sound like lovely parents! Hope everything continues smoothly from now on xxx

TheShellBeach · 19/04/2023 19:30

I'm thrilled to see your update. Brilliant news.

HVPRN · 19/04/2023 19:31

Ahh wonderful news! Enjoy your pregnancy, take care 😊🌸

maya48 · 19/04/2023 19:32

Fantastic news. Congratulations!

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