Mud sticks.. how do I deal with it.

[Highfivemum]

So I live in small village. We all know everyone. Even if we do not socialise we all know of each other. Two new residents moved in 5 weeks ago into the next road up. For some reason the wife thought she knew me from school. She didn’t. We haven’t spoken since as she seemed to not believe me. We have never lived in same area before and she is a few years older. Whilst attending the Easter parade in the centre my DC (11) said he had been shouted at by this lady for looking at her. She said to him your just like your mum. She quite obviously thinks I am someone else and someone else who she disliked for whatever reason. I went over to her and said why had she shouted at my DS and if she had any problems then she should speak to me. I didn’t shout I was very calm but She ran off in tears. Which was seen by others. Since then I had been told by three people that she has told them she cannot join some village groups and go to things as I go to them and I am nasty and always have been since school. She is quite clearly having some issues and I have chosen to step back and not be in any contact but I am finding that some of the locals are looking at me and I am paranoid they believe her. I have no idea who she is. My DH said he could speak to her DH about it all. I have said leave it. I really don’t know how to handle this. Do I try again to talk to her and run the risk of her screaming at me and making it worse.

After yelling at your DC and then yelling at you, I'd be reporting her for harassment.

X

Sorry, posted on the wrong thread, I've reported and asked for it to be removed!

Is there not a physical police station in your area you can go to in person?

Do you have legal cover through your home insurance?
A strongly worked letter delivered by registered post setting out the facts could be very useful but you would need legal advice.
if you set out the facts (dates, times) and gathered evidence prior would make it easier and more cost effective.

You do need to address it. Take your husband and make sure her DH is there too.
Take ID. Say that it is upsetting you and you also don't want her to be upset. Take a cake.

"be a mug" basically.

Take cake and ID? The woman's a friggin psycho and should be done for harassment.

Hopefully the OP has no intention of going round to see this woman and her DH... but for those who have had the good fortune not to have come across people this loopy...

Do not do this.

It will be retold as 'HighFive and MrHighFive came to our house and attacked us/abused us/made threats to us'.

Then when people ask 'did you go to their house and...'

The honest answer is going to have to be 'yes' and the 'but we were polite and just asked them to leave us alone' part will be missed, glossed over, not heard, disregarded.

Similarly, letters, posts on social media etc, will all be twisted. Any approach instigated by Highfive and/or her DH will be embellished and fashioned into something else entirely and the grains of truth those tales are based on will give it further weight.

Don't speak to her, don't approach her, if she approaches you walk away, saying NOTHING at all, and keep on at the police. Be open if anyone asks you but keep it brief, it sounds like she is going to dig her own hole here so just let her.

Couldn't agree more with @WiddlinDiddlin . The instinct is to explain that there is a mistake, but you're not dealing with a rational person and anything you say won't be received rationally.

You'd get your husband to deal with it?

This this and thrice this!!!!!! Especially the issue of the police. I think they really need to be involved now, so please phone, attend the station, just don't wait on a response. It is also a further reason not to get involved - go round and they will tell the police that you have been round and threatened etc and the police will see it as some daft spat between two bonkers neighbours and it becomes v difficult for them to assess who is threatening etc.

If both have form, perhaps a call to adult social care may be in order? Maybe she is off medications and presents a danger to herself? She certainly sounds like she presents a danger to you and your young DS.
They can get the police to take note far sooner.
Do you have her name? I would Google it, see what comes up.

Knew she/they had done this kind of thing before! They are a pair of loons.

Follow @WiddlinDiddlin’s advice!

Quick update
nothing from police.
lady posted a note through my door ( while I was in school run)
saying she thinks she may have been confused and she would like to come to my house to discuss. The thought she was at my house makes me feel Ill.
meanwhile at school another mum has told me she has been approached by her and told her she used to work with her. Not true.
I accept that this person is not right at all and I think she will keep targeting people. I have called 101 again and said I need to speak to an officer about this lady. I cannot have her turning up.
they assured me I will be contacted by someone.

That is scary! But she seems to now be targeting someone else which should reassure you that everyone will know it’s not something you did.

LMAO at the suggestion you bake a cake for this abusive woman. She'll sprinkle something in it and accuse you or trying to poison her.

Agree with a PP's advice to not engage or contact her and to leave it in police hands.

Agree with @WiddlinDiddlin this lady sounds potentially dangerous and very unwell. I’m fact if I was you and she came up to me I’d likely call the police whilst walking very quickly in the opposite direction!

Sorry this is happening to you, keep on chasing police. Go into your local station and ask to speak to the sargent in charge of you don’t hear anything.

Do not let the crazy inside your house!

Dont let her in the house (sounds like you wont) and hope you hear from the police soon. She sounds crazy. I’d be warning the village on SM if I were you.

Someone official needs to be involved, surely? Police or mental health services, maybe. If she's been to your house & wants to visit you there (😱No way!), & she's started on someone else with the same approach, then something's wrong that should be properly dealt with.

Hope the police get back to you & are of help.

Don't under any circumstances take her up on this. In any event, what is there to discuss? You don't have to justify or prove your identity to her. Whatever problems she has are too big for you, and this is not your baggage to handle. It needs dumping back where it belongs.

It's revealing that now you've backed away she's attempting to reignite the confrontation on which she obviously thrives by trying to open a dialogue, doubtless with the intention of stirring the whole thing up again. And she's already moving onto her next target, which suggests her eye is now only half on you. That old adage of 'let sleeping dogs lie' was never so urgent than it is here. It's very important with people like this that you give them absolutely nothing.

If you see her in public, grey rock or ignore.

I wonder if the police have contacted her and that’s why she’s posted the note through your door. This genuinely sounds like a Netflix special

So creepy and horrible and you absolutely do not have to invite someone round who has shouted and screamed abuse at you. Dreadful! Hope you're okay at least it sounds like most people are seeing this person for what they are -- a big ol' can of crazy! Take care.

So she's changed her story? First she was at school with you, and now she's told someone she used to work with you? This gets weirder.