To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

[AreweCf]

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

Not quite as cynical as you, but the Daily Mail is a definite possibility. If - if, it’s genuine, I don’t think she’s any of the things you describe. I think she’s been used to a fairly decent income - enough to support the family and afford the expenses connected with the childrens’ disabilities. She’s unfamiliar with the benefits system, clearly has no idea how a food bank works, and she’s struggling to keep their heads above water without going into debt. I don’t think she’s workshy either - two disabled children and a DH with a mental health condition severe enough to put an end to his business must be exhausting to deal with, especially if she’s not getting help with the children. A mumsnet account costs nothing, and internet is a necessity if you’re claiming benefits - UC is done via an online account.

Op has never confirmed they have an eating disorder she has said they have a restricted diet . This could be anything from fussy eating, gluten free , dairy free , afrid , celiac ect .
The food she has been given can be eaten by her and her DH just leaving the children to buy for .

ARFID is an eating disorder

You got grief because your posts were reflecting the fact that you clearly don’t understand eating disorders, tried to minimise them as fussiness, and then tried to tell posters who described the misery they go through because of their childrens’ eating disorders that it was their cooking skills and ‘pandering’ to them that was the problem. And they’re not ‘food aversions’ they’re eating disorders.

There was a fairly extensive discussion upthread about this. The OP mentioned that her children were neurodiverse and that the restricted diet was very expensive, so this may be where the assumption came from as various eating disorders were mentioned, but the OP hasn’t been back to confirm.

@SouthCountryGirl

I may have missed ops post but I've only read " they have restrictive diets "

Ive not seen her post what the restrictions are .

@AreweCf

The parcels here are not customised unless a health advisory from a medical professional is attached eg dairy allergy, or if the family are for instance vegetarian/vegan. They have different foods each week and never will specify brands. Go to your local community pantry where you pay a small amount often but you pick the foods

Yep I said its clearly a troll and my comment got took down and other posters argued with me. People post things like this to make people who use food banks look bad and people repeatedly fall for it

Posters didn’t argue with you because you called OP a troll, they argued with you because your post was ignorant and showed little understanding of having disabled DC.

Not quite. But you clearly consider yourself quite the authority on most of the issues discussed on this thread.

I questioned what the op wrote and pointed out the obvious flaws in her story. Now your realising how guliable you where and your embarrassed for reporting my post but I won't be commenting any further to you as you will go running back to mumsnet again crying about being offended by someone's opinion that was different to yours.

I didn’t report your post. Ask MN to confirm if you want.

But the bits you think are ‘flaws’, aren’t as I explained in response to you. You clearly know very little about having a disabled child or the DLA system.

OP hasn’t confirmed her children have an eating disorder, hasn’t explained what they eat so suggestions could be made, and clearly sees herself as someone above the system. It is ‘not ok for her to be financially vulnerable’ and she should have access to whatever items she needs. It is a food bank. You get what you get. And if you want items outside of that you spend your £80 on those.

No, your posts were taken down and other posters objected to them because they were ignorant and dismissive of the issues parents of disabled people face - don’t try to extricate yourself from the shit you posted by claiming you’ve been vindicated.

No more an authority than most of the posters here I think. Most seem to have experience in this. I’m disabled myself, benefits background including DWP assessor and volunteering with various disability charities - mostly PIP and DLA assistance with applications and tribunals. I also have family experience of serious eating disorders including DIL who nearly died from Anorexia. Also have two family members who volunteer for food banks and when I shared your posts with them they were horrified.

Whatever. Can’t be arsed explaining any more.

Exactly as I said, you behave as if you're the arbiter of this forum. And you obviously cannot know what anonymous posters have experience of - not everyone feels compelled to share their life story here. But you do you.

With the tone in your posts and towards other posters I dread to think what you're like as a benefits assessor or volunteer working with vulnerable people.

Because you can’t ‘explain.’ OP had not explained, and you don’t know her.

You know nothing about me, the work I do, and clearly not a lot about how disability benefits work, and considering some of the comments you’ve made on this thread I don’t know why you would think I’m anything but 100% on the side of the people who trust me to represent them. I’m not an arbiter of anything, I speak as I find and I’m not the only one who has found your comments ignorant and offensive. So you do you.

But your tone towards posters you disagree with and resorting to playground tactics ("you're mean and we all hate you!") says something about you.

And I was only quoting what you chose to share. Some posters, including you, make assumptions about others and twist words to fit with your narrative.

Show me any of my posts where I’ve said or done any of that. I don’t have a narrative. And I don’t make assumptions or twist anything. What I do have is 40+ years experience of working with benefit claimants and then with disabled charities and I recognise the shock and disbelief people experience at the situation they find themselves in as a result of their misfortune. This may or may not be a wind up thread, but as I said, I speak as I find, and if this is genuine, the OP, in my opinion hasn’t come to terms with her situation, and what some posters are interpreting as ‘entitlement’ is just the fact that it hasn’t sunk in yet. It’s a very unkind thread, it’s not helping anyone and I’m out.

£16k is the savings and capital cut off- at £16k savings you cannot apply for any means tested benefits at all. From £6k to £15,999 you will have your benefits deducted at £4.35 per every £250 of savings, every month, treated as income from savings.

At £16k there is no entitlement to means tested benefits at all. Between £6k and £15,999 savings your benefits are deducted at £4.35 per £250 savings every month.

ZOMBIE THREAD

Wish posters would check the date 🙄🙄🙄