To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

[AreweCf]

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

If your husband is currently not working, could you now get a job? Would he not cope looking after the children?

@saraclara I really couldn't bring myself to eat tinned meat or fish. I just couldn't. I would be happy with plain pasta or super noodles but I physically wouldn't be able to eat tinned meat or fish (I am a fussy eater - probably would be diagnosis with arfid if I was a child now).
So if I was in that situation I would probably say "please no tinned meat or fish because it won't be eaten" and I would be a bit baffled and confused if they gave me some.

I doubt that would be a problem as those are the expensive things that are sought after, they likely would have plenty of baked beans or chickpeas or lentils to give you as vegetable protein instead.

@Verbena17 didn’t say an assessment like the PIP assessment. The DLA claim being assessed based on the DLA form and evidence sent with it is still them assessing the claim. Sometimes parents receive a call too.

@Okunevo that would be fine. I'd be ok with vegetarian alternatives.
I was just going by the OP saying she got things she said they didn't need (or will not eat) - which does seem a bit odd they gave her those foods because that's a waste.

My bet is on someone in charge saying no and telling the woman who answered the phone that she couldn't pick and choose things for clients. We don't know if the items requested would be surplus or in demand. Maybe things like allergies or vegetarian or coeliac are all they understand and the foods requested didn't fit in a neat box like that.

If it was a choice of feed your children or don't, surely you'd give it a go?

It does sound terrible for them to dangle a carrot then gift a turd, though.

You sound very ungrateful, you have been given food that you and your DH can eat this will save you money as you now only have to buy for the children.
I'm being to think this thread is a joke.

Assessors try to stick to paper assessments as far as possible for child DLA but face to face assessments do happen in some cases where they feel that they can’t make a fair decision without actually seeing the child. Telephone calls from the assessor to the parents for more information are more common where there is some doubt as to whether the eligibility conditions are met - medical or other evidence submitted may not be clear, or there may be a lack of information or contradicting statements on the application form, so the assessor will gather more information and advise the DWP decision maker accordingly on their report.

That makes sense. Most of the ones I've helped with have been for children with cancer so there has usually been plenty of medical evidence to support the claim, and then a few for autism/ adhd etc.

@GoodChat I honestly don't know what I would do in that situation.
I'm a fussy eater, my daughter not so bad (she eats more variety than me) but I won't ever forget the time she was in hospital and she was banging on the doors of the ward to get out because the smell of tuna pasta was so strong and overpowering.
Some things.... I really think I couldn't just "give it a go". Hopefully I will never be in that situation.

Go to a mosque or gurudwara. They will help in this situation.

Sounds about right. The ones I’ve seen for cancer have usually had good supporting evidence and where there’s a terminal diagnosis they’ve been fast tracked. Same with autism/adhd where there’s clear medical evidence and supporting statements from other agencies. The ones I’ve seen go to appeal tend to be where the assessor has had the last word because the supporting evidence has been weak, and the parents haven’t agreed with the decision. Very mixed results at appeals tribunals in those cases too.

I thought this thread was withdrawn at OP's request ?

Ah, that clarifies it a bit more. So you explained about the restricted diet for your DC and they agreed to supply things to accommodate that and then didn’t ? Possibly the person you spoke to was overridden by a supervisor or something, if they were items more in demand.

Totally. I found the Cerebra website/guide really helpful when I did our’s.

Yes - I meant the assessing of the form, not an assessment face to face like for PIP etc.

I’m surprised someone higher up told them no, surely we should’ve been given those items due to my DC’s dietary needs

This
or she’s too self absorbed and entitled.

Depends what the items were, if they were in demand then others would also need them. They have things they need for a standard parcel so might not have any surplus to give to one family. Or the person in charge may not acknowledge needs that don't fit in a neat box, they may not understand the difference between a disorder and fussiness.

Surely it helps though? You only need to get the children's food now.

Maybe you should read the posts. She’s now not happy with the food bank offerings. And yes, I’m one of those who thinks that if you have £80 and turn your nose up at free food you should probably spend your £80 on the food you want.

Can you give us an idea of what was in your food parcel, OP?

Posters might be able to suggest ways of putting together meals using those items that at least you and your DH could get the best out of the parcel contents.

Also, what kinds of things do your kids eat? Again we might have some ideas about where to get those products at the most economical price point.

It sounds rough

Others have commented about food bank bad contents etc.

Ours are packed by a couple of volunteers, they do 20 at a time and hope they get a couple of days off.

The contents vary depending on what has been donated etc.

When someone calls we do ask if they’ve any requirements etc but as we are the net below normal foodbanks most are pleased to get just food.

We do adjust the bags on collection is remove meat etc. Nuts aren’t usually a problem as few donate peanut butter.

Some don’t have any cooking facilities/skills. We have given away a couple of microwaves, pans and have held a cooking course.

But we aren’t Ocado where you say what you want and we’ll deliver in a brief time slot.

There’s no “we should have been given” when you’re relying on a foodbank op. They give what they can and they have to spread what they have around lots of people. You sound a bit entitled here.

I don’t understand why you and your DH can’t use the foodbank items if your kids won’t eat them. Which will leave funds to buy food for your children.