To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

[AreweCf]

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

So you had to drive 100 miles each day (2x 50 miles round trip) to get them to your nearest school? That is really shocking. Your poor kids must have been exhausted from all that commuting.

What do people do if they don't drive? Or do they just choose not to live in a place with no schools in a 25 mile radius?!

Yes that was the closest school.

I was stuck there once I had kids (primary 4 miles away) and there was a school bus and how do you think farmers manage anyway? There don’t tend to be sheep or dairy farms in the middle of towns!

@horridjobescapee but that's a choice to make if you're entitled to school transport then don't take it. If you can't afford to pick them up they take the transport.

@MrsBennetsPoorNerves if your nearest school is more than 2 miles away for primary or 3 miles for secondary you're entitled to free transport

Absolutely - I was answering the point that it can’t cost a lot to get kids to and from school.

also, the op’s kids have special needs and school transport may not be suitable for them. She may be in the throes of trying to get appropriate transport sorted.

Absolutely - but often in rural areas there is one bus a day in and out and if your kids do any after school activities then you’re stuck.

To be fair it's another poster who claimed they're skint who spends £60 a week on petrol for school runs we were questioning.

The OP's situation would be different even if she was spending this much on petrol because this is a new situation for her born out of sheer bad luck.

DS's school was in a market town but had many children travelling on buses from a large area. Many clubs were at lunch time for this reason, it was only really the team sports after school.

Not trying to make things worse for you, OP, but you're really going to have to get a handle on your finances or get a job.

If the waiting time for DLA appeals is anything like as bad as the waiting time for other benefit appeals, they're currently taking 12-15 months, sometimes more.

It might be worth getting advice from CAB or similar to see if your DH might qualify for PIP, and get them to help him apply if so. The application process is getting a bit quicker now, so if it was successful, it would get you extra income long before the outcome of the DLA appeal.

Assuming you're on UC, has he asked to be assessed for Limited Capability for Work/Work Related Activity? If he was awarded that, it would give you nearly another £400 a month.

Because you are making many assumptions.

yes, OP could have mentioned over costa I suppose but you’re just assuming that’s disposable income.

We were evicted from an old property when my LL sold, we had to move to the next town over. I have a 7 seater as I have 4 children, the eldest is autistic and I can’t change his school - he wouldn’t cope.

@GoodChat We were evicted from an old property when my LL sold, we had to move to the next town over. I have a 7 seater as I have 4 children, the eldest is autistic and I can’t change his school - he wouldn’t cope.

Have you applied for school transport? Given extenuating circumstances, you'd probably be entitled to it, although I guess DS might struggle with that too?

Why isn't it obvious? Because I don't wish to make assumptions. It is a legitimate question. Some people can manage looking after their children whilst having mental health issues. Millions of women do it every day. Therefore I was simply asking OP. I wasn't asking you.

She only needs money to cover her for 2 weeks so will be fine borrowing but she doesn't need to as she has £80

Are the kids not in school? Define "high needs"? Surprised you haven't been entitled to help before.

No they can’t cope in school as they would have meltdowns everyday and have to come home anyway and where do I start. They have developmental delay, with communication difficultiws and slow processing, and a whole myriad of problems that makes their and others lives extremely challenging

It must be nice having someone you can borrow from, start next month in a deficit, rinse and repeat.

I can apply for that, but they will instead he changes school as he is still in mainstream, they are not concerned about the detrimental affects changing school will have on him.

If DC can’t attend school they are still entitled to education. You don’t have to EHE. Do DC have EHCPs and are they receiving EOTAS? Even if they don’t have EHCPs (which you should apply for) if they are CSA the LA have a statutory duty to provide education so how old are they?

It might be worth trying anyway @Irritateandunreasonable. If they try and make you move schools you can just carry on as you are and that would be worst case. Best case, you might find they're a big help.

When you have disabled children and no money to get them to hospital appointments perhaps ? When you have zero put away to deal with any unexpected issues connected to that disability ? The OP is new to this situation so you can’t expect her to be comfortable with it, and to see it as irresponsible to exhaust your money down to the last penny with the kind of responsibilities she has on her. Which, in the real world is what she would be told if she tried to access emergency funding. ‘So AreweCf what have you done with your money that you have nothing left for travel to appointments and other essentials and you have to come cap in hand to us ? ‘. ‘Well I should have spent my last £80 on essential bills but I was told by posters on MN that it was irresponsible and cheeky to use the foodbank, despite being referred, so I spent it on food and now I have no money and I’m in debt’.

Yep. Race to the bottom.

Have you tried Olio free food app, where supermarkets send their perishables at the end of the day to pick up from someone local to you. Also Too Good To Go app will get you a meal for very little.

Unfair and totally unreasonable assumption designed to paint the OP as something she clearly isn’t. Why are people so eager to pile on when the situation she’s in is already very difficult. Christ, no wonder she’s disappeared off the thread again.

The OP has already said her kids aren’t in school - they have meltdowns and she’s in the process of getting things sorted.

Umm, I’m not sure if that was all aimed at me but what you wrote is as actually what I was getting at.