To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

[AreweCf]

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

@horridjobescapee it can absolutely cost a lot. It costs me £60 a week for reasons I’ve already explained.

Surely it doesn't take both of you to look after the children. Why can't husband look after the children and you go out to work,? And before you say it yes I do have 2 disabled children non verbal and suffered horrendously with mental health because of child sexual abuse and an unsuccessful court case.

Sorry @Irritateandunreasonable - quote fail, it was actually aimed at the poster you were replying to and the quote history doesn’t reflect it. My apologies.

This has already been mentioned upthread. DH has unspecified MH problems. We don’t know how severe or whether or not it’s related to the running of the business. What we do know is that the diagnosis is recent enough for him to still be receiving treatment, so possibly not the best choice for childcare. I’m sorry you’ve suffered so horribly, and I say this gently, but just because you coped, doesn’t mean the OP can, and there’s been an awful lot of that on this thread.

The OP said in her opening post that they’ve made sure they are claiming everything they are entitled to. DH may or may not be claiming PIP - it’s very difficult to claim it for a mental health problem unless you’re receiving secondary care.

The OP had already stated neither of them can work, and that it’s not a choice, as reflected in successful benefit claims. The reasons are fairly obvious, and I don’t think you’re going to get an answer to your question because I don’t think the OP is coming back to the thread. Don’t blame her.

Which is in their DD account, earmarked for the payment of bills. Advocating that people already in difficulty get into debt isn’t the best advice.

And if you have two children with disabilities which mean they have a restricted and expensive diet ? What then. The ARFID argument was had upthread ad nauseam.

Have a look upthread at the discussion on ARFID.

I was assuming that the OP would need to use the small budget in the bank for the foods for the restricted eater and then the food bank food for everyone else.
If it's Heinz beans or Birdseye chicken nuggets or 100% meat sausages that the DC will eat, they are unlikely to be available through the foodbank.

This was my thought too. OP said in her opening post that DH’s salary used to foot a huge bill for the children because of their restricted diet. Makes sense to prioritise this and use the foodbank to feed themselves if there’s nothing left. Some incredibly harsh replies on here and I do wonder whether some posters actually live by what they advocate themselves.

That what overdrafts and grants are for she has a severely disabled child so she will have no issues getting dla. Her husband has severe depression so will be able to get pip which both will be backdated payments which will pay off any overdrafts and grants until that point.

Then contact British gas, sky whoever it is and make them aware of the situation, companies are usually pretty good if you communicate with them

That is SUCH a simplistic view of things said by someone who clearly has not had much experience with the system. She IS having issues getting DLA for a start.

I'm answering based on exactly what I did when claiming pip and never once used a foodbank. The first thing I did is to contact cab and local council its amazing how much help is out their when you communicate with services and when I recieved pip I was backdated 5 months which payed off everything i owed

OP, you say you have a specific Direct Debit account. Do you perhaps have another account which the food bank asked about?

I have a Direct Debit 'household' account. I also have a current account separate to this. Some people might have NS&I accounts (a few premium bonds) or a small ISA. I'm wondering about what the food bank possibly saw that was separate to your Direct Debit account that caused them to send you on your way, because otherwise it doesn't really make sense if you already had a referral.

Well done you for handling everything. It’s a shame you assume everyone must be in the same boat as you and are able to do everything exactly the same ways as you, circumstances vary hugely.

@Ionlydrinkondaysendinginy to be fair we have absolutely no idea how well off they were with her DH working. She might have never claimed before because they were comfortable so she hadn't considered it as an option.

Lots of people just assume they're not entitled to benefits they could receive

which is odd in itself

No it isn’t. For a variety of reasons many parents don’t claim when they could or only do so when they reach crisis point.

but also is now struggling to get dla for both of them which isn't hard to do for severely disabled children.

What evidence do you have to back this up? Because this isn’t the reality for many. Many are forced to appeal where they are then successful. I know more than one family who has gone from being refused completely to awarded HRC/HRM at appeal.

I think you’re a CF purely due to your ignorance but that’s a whole other thread.

The app too good to go offers near sell by date food for very low prices. Some supermarkets, cafes and buffet style restaurants are signed up to it.

Iv never known anyone with children with such high needs be turned down for dla. I have heard many horror stories about pip though so that one will likely be more of a fight

So, just because you personally with your limited experience have never heard of it it can’t possible happen? Well I can tell you you are wrong. It happens, and sadly it isn’t rare.

Sadly so many things like dla forms rely massively on peoples ability to fill in the form exactly as HMRC etc want them. Especially if you haven’t got piles of medical evidence to back it up