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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish I hadn’t told food bank about my benefits

799 replies

AreweCf · 15/04/2023 19:45

preparing to be slated so putting my hard hat on. DH had been running a business but devastatingly has had to stop due to mental health issues which he is getting counselling for. He has had to claim benefits (we are definitely claiming all we’re entitled to) but it’s still a huge drop in income. I’m a SAHM to my very high needs neurodivergent DC who are expensive in every way, before my DH became unemployed he had been footing the huge bill for their restricted diet, days out, groups, classes, toys, lessons, high heating costs, high everything costs, could go on, there are some things we have had to cut, but without these things there is a noticeable effect in my DC’s. Benefits won’t cover all of our rent either. We get our next benefit payment in 2 weeks, and our money won’t last us that long. Now, we thought we could use a food bank to help spread our money a bit further. All the food banks in the area are the same, and after honestly explaining my situation, they literally expect us to completely deplete our bank account balance down to pennies before they will help us. we’re not rolling in it, nor do we have have absolutely nothing in our accounts, but in our situation it’s not ok to be completely financially vulnerable. Are we CF’s for asking?

OP posts:
MaireadMcSweeney · 15/04/2023 19:47

Yes I'm afraid so. You don't use food banks to help budget, you use them if you have no money to buy food.

BellaBlossoms · 15/04/2023 19:49

There’s a new thing started in the next village to us people can get 15 items for £4.00, I read something about it on FB as they were asking for donations. Maybe there's something similar near you?

Yerroblemom1923 · 15/04/2023 19:50

What @MaireadMcSweeney said. If you've several thousand in savings you're not eligible.

HeddaGarbled · 15/04/2023 19:51

Yes, sorry. Donations to food banks have gone down at the same time that need has gone up: they are having to prioritise.

ChaoticCrumble · 15/04/2023 19:51

Where I live there are community food rescue hubs in town that anyone is welcome to rescue food from - any of those?

Okunevo · 15/04/2023 19:52

Sadly, but out of necessity, foodbank is only for emergencies, when you have no food or money to buy food. There may be a community food pantry near you that may be able to help, some of these are donation based.

Sweetladyjane · 15/04/2023 19:52

Food banks are there for emergencies, stocks are limited.

WheelsUp · 15/04/2023 19:53

BellaBlossoms · 15/04/2023 19:49

There’s a new thing started in the next village to us people can get 15 items for £4.00, I read something about it on FB as they were asking for donations. Maybe there's something similar near you?

Ours is called Community Fridge and it's open to everyone regardless of financial status.

fortheloveofflowers · 15/04/2023 19:54

So you basically want the food bank to be able fund your lifestyle??

You will have to do what loads of us do and give up things if you cannot afford them.

BellaBlossoms · 15/04/2023 19:54

WheelsUp · 15/04/2023 19:53

Ours is called Community Fridge and it's open to everyone regardless of financial status.

It sounds very similar as it did say everyone was welcome, I’m sure it said something about cutting food waste from supermarkets too which is a great idea.

Therealjudgejudy · 15/04/2023 19:54

It depends what you mean by having very little in the bank.

Food banks are for emergencies

Needmorelego · 15/04/2023 19:55

Food Banks you usually have to have been referred.
However lots of places have 'Community Fridges' which is usually left overs from local shops/cafes/factories etc or if someone grows veg they donate it, anyone who has spare food they aren't going to use can donate it. These are free for anyone to take - they just have rules about "don't take more than you need".
If you have one of those where you live try that.

Bandanadrama · 15/04/2023 19:56

Foodbanks are there for people with absolutely nothing at all. No money for any food, zero. If you have savings you are completely taking the piss.

LovelyDayz · 15/04/2023 19:56

Food banks are for people who won't eat if they don't use them, not so you can save your money for toys and lessons.

Daffodil92 · 15/04/2023 19:57

I’m sorry for the position you are in. But if you have money in the bank, you’re not yet in the dire straits expected to need a food bank.
the money in the bank-is it earmarked for particular expenses? Or is it literally “just in case” emergency money?
I really hope your situation improves soon.

FranksOcean · 15/04/2023 19:57

Unfuckingbelieveable, just when you think you’ve heard it all

Xrays · 15/04/2023 19:57

Are you talking down to your last £5 so you risk going overdrawn and paying loads in fees if you have an emergency- reasonable.

Or -

Are you saying you’re down to your savings / a reasonable amount? Yabu.

LexMitior · 15/04/2023 19:58

These are places for people on the bones of their arses, not people with cash flow issues.

marshmallowsforbreakfast · 15/04/2023 19:58

Foodbanks are there as an absolute last resort for people who have no other means and would otherwise go hungry. They aren't a budgeting tool.

Daffodil92 · 15/04/2023 19:58

BellaBlossoms · 15/04/2023 19:49

There’s a new thing started in the next village to us people can get 15 items for £4.00, I read something about it on FB as they were asking for donations. Maybe there's something similar near you?

Yes we have similar near me. Might be something to look into OP.

horridjobescapee · 15/04/2023 19:58

LovelyDayz · 15/04/2023 19:56

Food banks are for people who won't eat if they don't use them, not so you can save your money for toys and lessons.

This.

OnaBegonia · 15/04/2023 19:58

Food banks aren't there for you to save money, ffs

Chickpea17 · 15/04/2023 19:59

Is this a joke?

Backtobed · 15/04/2023 19:59

Food banks are not there so that you don't have to spend your own money on food. They are there for if you have no money for food. I think you are a CF.

PinkiOcelot · 15/04/2023 19:59

Where did the OP say she had thousands in the bank? I read the money won’t last until their benefits payment.