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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be so angry with ‘DH’

262 replies

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:14

I was bought a pair of trainers for my birthday by my DM- they were expensive at £180 in comparison to my normal converse so use them when I know not muddy etc.
Cleaning hall and found them covered in paint and mud- DH saw them and hadn’t seen me in them for a few weeks (baring in mind he works away 4 nights a week so doesn’t see me everyday) so decided to use them for work- he works in a building site!
they are completely ruined and stink of sweaty man feet and I am really upset as they are not just something I can replace due to cost. DH thinks I am being dramatic and has whacked them in the washing machine- but I hate trainers in the washing machine as they never feel the same and right now am so angry I want to throw them in the bin or at at his face

OP posts:
mouche202 · 14/04/2023 23:50

Hardbackwriter · 14/04/2023 22:56

Do you find people give you stick for it? I had a boyfriend who was one bloody inch shorter than me (5'9 to my 5'10) and we got absolutely horrible comments from both people we knew and strangers. It was bizarre. A lot of men seem to derive their self-esteem from being bigger than their partner and a lot of women seem to derive their self-esteem from being smaller than theirs and they just can't conceive that not everyone is so insecure. I found it really quite pathetic (like a lot of this thread!)

I think we have been lucky - or oblivious! He doesn't particularly like me wearing heels when I am with him but that's as far as his insecurity goes. Seeing as I don't like wearing them either, we're a match made in heaven.

People have their own tastes and find different things icky or attractive. Taking expensive belongings without asking is pretty icky. But judging someone on the size of their feet just seems super shallow.

Merangutan · 15/04/2023 00:08

He’s an idiot. Seriously, this is absolutely brainless stupidity from him.

elm26 · 15/04/2023 00:10

I'd go batshit.

Thank god my DH is a size 11 compared to my size 5-6, although I do flap about in his huge sliders if I'm running out to the garden quick and they're closest to me 😂

emptythelitterbox · 15/04/2023 00:33

Hopefully this isn't a regular thing he does that your things always seem to get lost, broken damaged by him.

It's be a sign of passive aggressive behaviour and contempt for you.

WotsitsMadeIn1927 · 15/04/2023 00:44

He owes you £180 selfish bastard.

GobbieMaggie · 15/04/2023 00:49

……. 🤔

Thepossibility · 15/04/2023 01:16

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 19:43

Can you imagine if it was a man saying ‘the thought of a woman with size 9 feet is revolting’

My sister has size 9 feet and has been mocked by men for it many times.

Thepossibility · 15/04/2023 01:19

I'm laughing at the people who are saying he did it on purpose.
Of course he did, who else would have put the shoes on his feet?

lilmadmel · 15/04/2023 01:24

I’d be absolutely gutted tbh! Good for You standing your ground. If he really doesn’t see a problem then he’s got a new pair out of them too hasn’t he! (Your old pair) win win

diddl · 15/04/2023 05:26

Oh well Op-at least you know what to get him for his next birthday-a pair of shoes all of his very own.

Has he explained why your shoes were preferable to wear & ruin than his?

Selfish twat!

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 15/04/2023 06:06

KilljoysMakeSomeNoise · 14/04/2023 23:15

There's no way Tom Cruise has size 11 feet. He'd look like a clown! My DP has size 11, he's 6ft 1, and even he looks like he's wearing clown shoes sometimes. Grin

My youngest is 5ft 7 and in size 7/8, so I think Tom would be about the same.

Back to the OP, glad you got new shoes and a bonus takeaway.

Doesn’t work like that. My Ds2 is 13 and a size 11, he’s 5ft 8.5 although I suspect he’s going to hit the 6ft mark.
DS1 is taller at 5ft 10 but has smaller feet.

jtdf · 15/04/2023 06:19

StaceySolomonSwash · 14/04/2023 19:27

Doubt he'd be wearing trainers on a building site.

"OSHA standards require puncture-resistant and slip-resistant footwear for construction workers. Safety boots on construction sites also need considerable impact and shear protection to shield workers from falling objects or heavy equipment. Steel-toed boots are best-suited to meet all OSHA safety boot requirements."

So based on that and a little bit of common sense, thread is bullshit.

My dh works on a building site. Wears safety boots ON site and travels to and from work in trainers. These trainers come home filthy and covered in mud. Can't just be calling people out as bullshit posts 🤦‍♀️🙄

Maisemoo · 15/04/2023 07:55

Thanks JTDF - it definitely wasn’t a bullshit post I was genuinely angry

OP posts:
johnd2 · 15/04/2023 08:29

Thepossibility · 15/04/2023 01:16

My sister has size 9 feet and has been mocked by men for it many times.

Sorry to hear that but that's a great example.
And I presume you are not comfortable with their behaviour.
Exactly the same as people are not comfortable with the behaviour of people doing the same on this thread (but the other way round)

MrsMontyD · 15/04/2023 08:35

I would assume it was a deliberate act intended to start an argument, no other explanation for such behaviour.

GrammarTeacher · 15/04/2023 08:54

As a big foot (8/9 depending on how company has translated European sizes), this thread is just hideous.
Switched from a reasonable complaint from the OP - of course he owes you new shows glad you sorted it - to infantile giggling about shoe size that wouldn't be out of place in a Carry on film. People have feet. Grow up.

WelshNerd · 15/04/2023 09:09

Omg, a 9 page thread about a woman with an awful sounding DH which has concluded with her actually standing up for herself. The curse is broken.

Well done OP!

Mortimerat · 15/04/2023 09:14

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 14/04/2023 19:20

So it seems to be quite surprising to some people on this thread that women and men can have the same size feet.

My SIL and my dad are both size 8s.

Anyways OP, he owes you new shoes. It's a simple idea but if he refuses I'd be really concerned with how he viewed me

I was just thinking that too! I am 5ft 8, my husband is 5ft 9, our feet are about the same size, mine might be marginally smaller. But he can quite easily wear my trainers and in fact I have given him a couple of pairs over the years when I have decided I don’t want them any more.

To OP, yes he needs to buy you a new pair. I would be very upset about this.

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 09:20

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 15/04/2023 06:06

Doesn’t work like that. My Ds2 is 13 and a size 11, he’s 5ft 8.5 although I suspect he’s going to hit the 6ft mark.
DS1 is taller at 5ft 10 but has smaller feet.

The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the length of your foot. What do their arms look like?

Wexone · 15/04/2023 09:40

@impz I have paid more. love golden goose have three pairs. saved up for them and get vouchers towards them. bought one pair second hand like new. it's my money work hard for it. bills etc paid these are my treats

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 15/04/2023 09:50

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 09:20

The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the length of your foot. What do their arms look like?

My side of the family are chimpanzees…we can skip over our arms they’re that long 😂

Mookie81 · 15/04/2023 10:54

IsThePopeCatholic · 14/04/2023 21:16

Going against the grain here, but maybe he didn’t realise they were expensive trainers. Maybe, like me, he doesn’t understand the fetishisation of trainers and for him they’re just a pair of sports shoes.

Feel better now you have all that pomposity out of your system?

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 11:40

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 15/04/2023 09:50

My side of the family are chimpanzees…we can skip over our arms they’re that long 😂

Then that makes sense!

I just looked at a full length picture of Cruise and even bearing in mind that he's quite short for a man, his arms are quite proportionately short too. I'm not buying that he's a UK size 11.

LuckySantangelo35 · 15/04/2023 13:27

MysteryBelle · 14/04/2023 20:30

I got my dh’s take on this and he said there’s no doubt Tiny Feet did this on purpose.

@MysteryBelle

END OF THREAD

@MysteryBelle husband has spoken

we now know all we need to know

emptythelitterbox · 15/04/2023 14:52

MaroonCow · 15/04/2023 09:20

The distance from your wrist to your elbow is the length of your foot. What do their arms look like?

I just tried this and it's not at all accurate. That part of my arm is a good 3 to 4 inches longer than my foot! I wear a 38 shoe.