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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry with ‘DH’

262 replies

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:14

I was bought a pair of trainers for my birthday by my DM- they were expensive at £180 in comparison to my normal converse so use them when I know not muddy etc.
Cleaning hall and found them covered in paint and mud- DH saw them and hadn’t seen me in them for a few weeks (baring in mind he works away 4 nights a week so doesn’t see me everyday) so decided to use them for work- he works in a building site!
they are completely ruined and stink of sweaty man feet and I am really upset as they are not just something I can replace due to cost. DH thinks I am being dramatic and has whacked them in the washing machine- but I hate trainers in the washing machine as they never feel the same and right now am so angry I want to throw them in the bin or at at his face

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 14/04/2023 19:28

I'm with @MuffinToSeeHere he cerrltainly doesn't seem to respect and when pulled up he plays "you're being dramatic" card. Honestly tell him he needs to replace them.

Arightoldcarryabag · 14/04/2023 19:28

This feels quite nasty but you've not really suggested that so I'm guessing he is generally incredibly careless in general?

Living with that kind of person can be infuriating but it can't come as a surprise to you so I guess it's something you'll either have to put a foot down and insist he goes without something to pay for them, or you let his carelessness negatively impact you again in a way that will damage how you think about him.

He's got to cough up, it's worth the argument this time or it'll bug you for a long time.

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

Original poster
Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:30

Thread isn’t bull shit he is a tradesman that is self employed and this week was ‘finishing’ in someone’s home while they were on holiday- was easier to say building site as obviously there is mud, sawdust pain, manual work making sweating feet

OP posts:
Ludo19 · 14/04/2023 19:30

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

Like men with child hands 🤮

BringtheJury · 14/04/2023 19:30

As an aside, don't people working on building sites have to wear safety footwear

Yes they do , I think even if you are a visitor on a building site, you have to wear ppe.

Cherrysoup · 14/04/2023 19:30

I agree, he needs to replace. I’d be fuming.

threewhitelines · 14/04/2023 19:30

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Morningcoffeeview · 14/04/2023 19:31

Blablablanamechangagain · 14/04/2023 19:17

How big are your feet/how small are his?!

Misses point of thread

I wondered that too!

FlounderingFruitcake · 14/04/2023 19:31

StaceySolomonSwash · 14/04/2023 19:27

Doubt he'd be wearing trainers on a building site.

"OSHA standards require puncture-resistant and slip-resistant footwear for construction workers. Safety boots on construction sites also need considerable impact and shear protection to shield workers from falling objects or heavy equipment. Steel-toed boots are best-suited to meet all OSHA safety boot requirements."

So based on that and a little bit of common sense, thread is bullshit.

Could be a painter decorator?! Hence why there’s paint on them. Don’t think there’s any such requirement there, the one we had recently definitely wore trainers.

iklboo · 14/04/2023 19:31

Sorry going to go against the grain, he owes u an apology for sure but new shoes?! That seems mad to me. So wasteful. It's not fair you don't get them as new, but I from my perspective new shoes is overkill.

They were a present from OP's mum, and expensive so a real treat for her. She's worn them a handful of times. He took them without asking, stretched them because they're too small for him and wore them to a fecking building site!

He's ruined them. Of course he owes her a like for like replacement.

Original poster
Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:31

I will push for replacement I suppose I am just also annoyed at his lack of respect for my belongings and self entitlement to just take what he wanted and sometimes money can’t fix stuff like that

OP posts:
GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 14/04/2023 19:31

Ha ha - my exh had size 7 feet. I do agree that small feet or hands are unattractive in a man though - I don’t know what I was thinking of.

I agree with PPs. He needs to replace them like for like immediately.

iklboo · 14/04/2023 19:33

@threewhitelines - read the updates.

GoodChat · 14/04/2023 19:33

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

You could just read the OP's responses.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 14/04/2023 19:33

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:31

I will push for replacement I suppose I am just also annoyed at his lack of respect for my belongings and self entitlement to just take what he wanted and sometimes money can’t fix stuff like that

If he doesn't or doesn't even chip in to replace then I'd be really concerned. My ex would start with things like this and before long he was 'borrowing' my car and my bank card

SwearySweary · 14/04/2023 19:35

What trainers were they?

Original poster
Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:35

Nike 270 but in a limited edition colour hence slightly higher price than the normal ones that are £145ish

OP posts:
threewhitelines · 14/04/2023 19:35

@iklboo @GoodChat
Yes, sorry...I committed the cardinal sin and skipped to the end. Blush

SwearySweary · 14/04/2023 19:35

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

😂

I want to know if the small feet = small pee pee is true.

OP, help us out!

SwearySweary · 14/04/2023 19:37

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:35

Nike 270 but in a limited edition colour hence slightly higher price than the normal ones that are £145ish

He 100% has to replace them. An overtime shift will sort that out.

I’d want a takeaway as well, just cos.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 19:37

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:31

I will push for replacement I suppose I am just also annoyed at his lack of respect for my belongings and self entitlement to just take what he wanted and sometimes money can’t fix stuff like that

So don’t put up with it then?

He will never respect your stuff if there are zero consequences for ruining your stuff.

If you insist on replacement trainers, I bet he won’t be in such a hurry to ruin the next pair.

Isn’t this obvious?

DojaPhat · 14/04/2023 19:39

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

On mumsent if your husband and first born son are under 6'7 with a shoe size less than 12 they're positively dainty. It's the mumsnet female equivalent of willy waving. It makes me cringe every time.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 19:39

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

My 14YO is in size 11 shoes.

Size 7 is somehow quite amusing.

Ktime · 14/04/2023 19:41

Mustardandchickensandwiches · 14/04/2023 19:28

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet.

Is he 4ft5?

For some reason I find the thought of a man with small feet revolting.

What a horrible post.

What’s revolting is your catty attitude.

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