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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry with ‘DH’

262 replies

Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 19:14

I was bought a pair of trainers for my birthday by my DM- they were expensive at £180 in comparison to my normal converse so use them when I know not muddy etc.
Cleaning hall and found them covered in paint and mud- DH saw them and hadn’t seen me in them for a few weeks (baring in mind he works away 4 nights a week so doesn’t see me everyday) so decided to use them for work- he works in a building site!
they are completely ruined and stink of sweaty man feet and I am really upset as they are not just something I can replace due to cost. DH thinks I am being dramatic and has whacked them in the washing machine- but I hate trainers in the washing machine as they never feel the same and right now am so angry I want to throw them in the bin or at at his face

OP posts:
SupplyIsLimited · 14/04/2023 20:15

Oops, should've read all the updates, but was too angry on your behalf to wait... 😂

I'm glad you've ordered new shoes and that he's paying!

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 20:16

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 20:15

Men DO say that, I’m sure.

But when women give men a taste of their own objectifying medicine, suddenly it’s unacceptably shocking.

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Two wrongs don’t make a right.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 20:17

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 20:16

Two wrongs don’t make a right.

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Thanks, Mum. 🙏

EllenLRipley · 14/04/2023 20:17

WTF??!!! He wore women's trainers a size to small for him to work and destroyed them? This is so utterly weird. He MUST have done it on purpose.

horridjobescapee · 14/04/2023 20:18

I would call out a man who said it in the same way as I'm calling this out. It's horrible and objectifying regardless

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 20:18

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 20:17

Thanks, Mum. 🙏

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You’re welcome, hope you learned a little something.

Puppers · 14/04/2023 20:19

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 19:52

My comment was in response to @Kingdedede saying ‘can you imagine if it was a man saying ‘the thought of a woman with size 9 feet is revolting’ - men say this, and far worse, all the time.

The comment was from a random MNer on the internet about a man she’ll never meet and never know. She wasn’t saying it about a partner or loved one, which yes, would be unkind.

The question was, ‘can you imagine if a man said X?’ Well, yes, I can imagine a man saying it. Easily.

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I think they were talking about the reaction if a man said it. Obviously lots of men say awful things but we'd all be telling him he was a prick, not laughing along with the hilarious body shaming...

OP, I'm guessing this isn't an isolated incident. Taking a pair of someone else's shoes - that are too small - to work is such an odd thing to do that it can't possibly be anything other than a deliberate attempt to damage your property. And he's chosen something that he knows is special to you because it was a gift from your mum and something you couldn't afford/justify buying yourself. It's very targeted. Does he have form for damaging things that are special to you or sabotaging your plans etc?

MysteryBelle · 14/04/2023 20:19

Stuffing man feet into too small women’s brand new decorative trainers to ruin on a job site is something you’d see on a Lifetime mystery movie about psycho husbands. Watch out, op.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 20:21

Anyway, all’s well that ends well.

And I can cast-iron guarantee he won’t trash your belongings again, since it costs him too much money.

Win all round.

Blablablanamechangagain · 14/04/2023 20:21

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 19:43

Can you imagine if it was a man saying ‘the thought of a woman with size 9 feet is revolting’

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I'd probably agree to be honest 🤣

Kingdedede · 14/04/2023 20:21

Exactly @Puppers , @TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand thinks they are funny.

Ktime · 14/04/2023 20:22

Blablablanamechangagain · 14/04/2023 20:21

I'd probably agree to be honest 🤣

Show quote history

Do you want to tell the woman upthread with size 10 feet that she’s revolting?

Thought not.

TiedUpWithABlackVelvetBand · 14/04/2023 20:22

I admit my sympathy well for small-footed OP’s DH is dry.

Magnoliasky · 14/04/2023 20:25

Good for you! He could have at least checked with you first before claiming and ruining your new trainers.

Ktime · 14/04/2023 20:25

No one has expressed any sympathy for his actions though.

diddl · 14/04/2023 20:25

DH saw them and hadn’t seen me in them for a few weeks

What does that have to do with anything-he knew that they weren't his shoes?

Were all of his missing?

determinedtomakethiswork · 14/04/2023 20:25

He is totally disrespecting your things. He needs to replace them immediately.

Limetart · 14/04/2023 20:26

My dh did something similar.
I had the chicest wellies ever, dh decided to pressure wash the patio while I was away. He had perfectly good green garden wellies. But no, he wore mine and the pressure of the water took the shine off the black wellies and now they look scuffed.
He still doesn’t understand my annoyance.
Luckily they weren’t expensive but I’ve never found any as nice.

SadGirl6 · 14/04/2023 20:26

Would be an ick for me if my partner had similar size feet to me, but I’d be fuming with this and cry until I got new ones.

MysteryBelle · 14/04/2023 20:30

I got my dh’s take on this and he said there’s no doubt Tiny Feet did this on purpose.

Ktime · 14/04/2023 20:30

Well, let’s end the thread now, @MysteryBelle ‘s husband has spoken.

Wexone · 14/04/2023 20:31

oh sweet lord I be fuming. I have a nice collection of runners and himself knows how much they cost and wouldn't dare do anything to them. I say this isn't the 1st time he has done something like this ? it doesn't matter how much they cost its about respecting your belongings. Well done on buying the replacements

diddl · 14/04/2023 20:32

MysteryBelle · 14/04/2023 20:30

I got my dh’s take on this and he said there’s no doubt Tiny Feet did this on purpose.

Good oh.

Even though posters had already said that!

Original poster
Maisemoo · 14/04/2023 20:37

After how mad I went I genuinely don’t think he will be brave enough to touch my stuff again!
have ordered a takeaway on his card- poster suggested this earlier and sounded a good idea and am writing him a list of jobs for the weekend as he can’t go to his hobby now due to lack of funds 🤣

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 14/04/2023 20:38

I cannot get over that you've slept with a man with size 7 feet

Well never go out with a Mexican, size 7 is quite a normal size for men's footwear and no, they don't have particularly small penises