To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

I used to be a housewife and went back to work. I enjoy my job however I do miss it sometimes and it definitely isn’t as mundane as some people make it out to be…

I'm a housewife and I love it , I'm never bored.

Me and DH are planning to drop down to 4 days a week for this exact reason. 1 child free and work free day a week to keep us on top of all the things we don't normally have time to do. And worst case scenario if we're on top of everything we'd each get 1 full day off a week 😱

I would love to be a house wife. I've often thought I'd do really well as a lottery winner too. Just thinking about all the things I could use my time for that isn't work. 🤩

I feel like those posters were just saying that they found it boring. I was bored out of my mind and couldn't wait to get back to work but of course not everyone is going to feel that way.

I think it would be quite nice (as long as there was enough money coming into the house to have a comfortable lifestyle).

When my youngest is at school I would only have 9-3 free for five day a week for term time only but I could spend each morning doing a bit of housework and then have some me time which has been very lacking since my eldest was born.

Much prefer to work and pay someone else to do cleaning and diy 🤷‍♀️

Slightly different take on it but I was ‘forced’ to be a housewife after having to give up work due to illnesses. I absolutely hate it. I’m bored rigid. My life is just drudgery because after I’ve done the house stuff, there’s not much energy left for anything else. My friends are all still working so I don’t have much of a social life during the days. To be fair, the illnesses put paid to that too at times.

It was a relief giving up work and it’s still good that I don’t have to go back but I’d give anything to be able to.

I think that

"enjoyment comes partly from the fact that I know it's for a finite amount of time"

is key.

I had two years at home from when my eldest was 18 months and I started maternity leave with my second, and then several more years (during which time we had another child) of just teaching some evening classes.

I enjoyed the stay at home parent aspect especially as the children were close enough in age to do lots of developmentally useful fun stuff and endless hours outdoors, but when I didn't actually have a "project" in terms of setting up the new house, I absolutely hated the repetitive grind of housework and loathed myself if I didn't meet my own standards unless I could account for the time usefully spent with the children.

Once I was properly back at work we got a cleaner and honestly I was perfectly fine with the fact that at first her hourly rate was probably more than mine worked out hourly after tax and deductions.

Big projects can be motivating and satisfying but the day in, day out groundhog day of housework, food shopping, cooking, laundry certainly wasn't for me, and I know that if my children were at school (especially once settled, and assuming no health conditions/ SEND requiring missing lots of school) and I were a housewife I'd judge myself harshly if the house wasn't beautiful and sparkling clean always, because otherwise what would my role actually be? I'd hate that self imposed pressure!

Obviously I still feel self imposed pressure to ensure the children eat healthy meals and so on, but domesticity isn't all I do so I don't have the self imposed pressure to have a perfect house, no washing waiting, perfect meals etc. which I would feel if that was literally my sole role in life.

Obviously more importantly pension, financial independence etc. Even if I had a modest magic money tree to cover my current earnings and pension etc. though... No.

I could happily spend years travelling and hiking if the kids had all grown up and didn't need me and I had a mysterious source of modest income, but a housewife - no, I'd be miserable.

That’s putting a very transactional spin on it though! DH and I both wanted a parent to be at home with the kids for at least the first few years for reasons that were nothing to do with money.

I can definitely understand the appeal.

It wouldn't work for me though. I work part time so I'm like a housewife part of the week. I do the housework, shopping, cooking, decluttering, mums taxi service. It isn't really appreciated and I get fed up when I've tidied and cleaned and everyone comes in and dumps their crap everywhere.

The very word makes me shudder.

No thanks:
gender pay gap
financial dependence on a partner
pension
role-modelling
need for mental stimulation and professional satisfaction
and a million other reasons

I meant to say I wouldn't get bored. There is always plenty to do. I'd pursue my hobbies and read, I'd get a pet.

But it's too unequal. It can work for some people but it wouldn't for us.

This is a fair point - I initially replied saying I’d love it provided I had my own money and lots of it. I was thinking that I’d have a luxury gym membership, travel, study, etc. But, as you say, OP said housewife, not lottery winner.

So no, it wouldn’t be for me.

I think I'd love it if finances would allow it.
Realistically, having kids, you'd have 6 hours max a day between school drop off and pick up.

Bits of housework and exercise every day. Prepare home-made meal for the evening.

Then on to DIY, crafting, meeting someone for lunch once a week and volunteering. Honestly don't think I'd get bored.

No more rushing around in the morning and evening, organising life between work and picks ups and the absolute dread having to call work due to kids being ill.

The important thing is that you both agree. DH and I agree too but the opposite, that it wouldn't be fair for one parent not to work. We didn't like the idea of one going part time either.

It would be great to have someone else funding your life and not have to pay bills!

I suppose you would only know if you were to try it. Do you specialise in something you could step away from and easily step back into if it wasn't for you.

I think it's always a great feeling when you get all those jobs ticked off your list that never get done, but if it were permanent would it feel the same.

I know housewives and they definitely do not spend all their time with drudgery and housework, they stay on top of it with a 30 min or so a day routine, with some household running around, but the rest of their time is spent on things they enjoy. They haven't had to "sacrifice" any material things as their partners earn well. They have had to take a risk as their husbands are sole earner, but they are happy with the trade off.

I personally won't go back full time until our DS can get himself to and from school happily, it's just our preference that we are not dependant on others outside of school hours and that I collect him and drop him off. Part time suits me, I get to do bits and bobs around work and our weekends are free for family time.

Of course some people would hate being at home the same as some would hate other alternatives, its best to always just do what works for you and your family, after all, it's only you guys that have to live your lives.

I’ve done everything
Hardest: Full tome job. 2 children under 2. Husband worked away.
Best: Current set up: work for myself about 10 hours a week but highish hourly wage, flexible around school. Can take dog out/exercise and do house stuff. No stress. Enjoyable job.

BUT. I do take some umbrage at all these ‘oh I’d be so bored I need to use my brain’ comments. Once the kids are at school you are not chained to the kitchen sink! You can exercise, pursue hobbies, volunteer, learn skills, socialise. That is not boring. Yes you are not financially independent and that’s the downside. But it’s not all scrubbing floors all day. It’s very liberating.

The most bored I’ve ever been is in a job I hated

I'd be bored to tears. I was bored out of my mind for the few months I was a SAHM. I eventually found a job and was much happier. I'd rather do that kind of cleaning on a long weekend or take some leave time to do it.

Why wouldn't you just go back to work and get paid for using your brain though?
That's what I never understand -volunteer, learn skills,socialise.
Yep all that at more at work and I get paid to do it

It's like there's some moral objection to working but doing it for free is OK.

I would be so embarrassed to say, ‘I am a housewife’.

You can do all of that and work though. It isn't something I'd find liberating at all, especially no financial independence.

Reflecting there's no way I would want to give up financial independence it does change the relationship dynamics and power. The only way I'd do it was if I had a huge independent windfall.

Yes!

We all different. I found it endless and lonely as friends at work. Works well when kids small. Family can abuse it you like a taxi if not working. Im part time now. Gets me out house