To think being a housewife might be nice ?

[Felixss]

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family.
I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really.

AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

I've tried a variety of combinations between FT work at one extreme and FT housewife at the other. My happiest balance has been 16hrs/wk paid work (3 days, school hours), 1.5 days of housework/DIY/family errands etc, 0.5 days volunteering, 2 days of weekend family time. This is with 2 school age DCs and DH working FT.
Both working FT: house is a bomb site, everyone is stressed, weekends are fully taken up with extracurriculars, errands, and housework. It is a miserable existence for all.
SAHP: Everyone is happy except SAHP who is so. bloody. bored. House looks clean and tidy though!
My perfect combo: DCs happy with no wraparound care and their extracurriculars spread through the week, DH can focus on work and not clock watch (he gets very stressed juggling work and DCs), I'm earning my own money, feeling stimulated, and don't feel like I'm stressed and failing at everything, plus the house looks presentable.

I’ve been a SAHM for nearly 10 years now. I absolutely loved it for the first 6 years. Then I started to feel like I needed something else. Then covid hit and I was incredibly grateful to be a SAHM.

Now I’m starting to feel like I need something else again, but at the same time I don’t want to spend any less time with my kids…

My happiest balance has been 16hrs/wk paid work (3 days, school hours), 1.5 days of housework/DIY/family errands etc, 0.5 days volunteering, 2 days of weekend family time.

This sounds like the perfect balance!

Not for me. I went back to work after 12 weeks at home, I was bored and miserable.

I think my perfect balance would be DC in nursery 3 days, 1 day with me, 1 day with my partner. Leaving me 3 days mix of work/volunteering, 1 day for hobbies, chores, life admin. And then we have weekends together for family time and other fun stuff.

I've recently retired from work due to a very complex childcare arrangement for DSS's and some issues with Dd2 and her mental
Health which men's full time work is no longer possible. I had been a social work team manager (and a social worker for 22 years total) zI thought I would miss the being busy, the thinking, the social aspect and the sense of purpose. I don't miss any of it at all! I love being at home. I've got a little dog walking/boarding business I'm starting to build up. All the house work is done, there is nutritious delicious food for dinner every night that I've enjoyed making, I'm
Not tired or stressed. I love it! I'm looking for some part time work a few days a week but it's very half arsed looking right now as I just like being at home.

My happiest balance has been 16hrs/wk paid work (3 days, school hours), 1.5 days of housework/DIY/family errands etc, 0.5 days volunteering, 2 days of weekend family time. This is with 2 school age DCs and DH working FT.

Agree this sounds ideal. May I ask what job it is/was?

It's ace thanks 🙏

YES! I don’t get the posters who say they’d get bored. I’m not the type of person who gets bored, there are so many things to do, to learn, to achieve that have nothing to do with a 9-5 job working for someone else’s agenda, and nothing to do with housework itself.

Agree, this sounds great actually.

Yes, it's great 🙂

I can't think of anything worse tbh. I love working and find housework mind-numbingly boring and I have to be busy or I get really antsy and stressed.

I'm prepared to bet good money you only enjoy it because its a novelty. If you were doing it day in, day out you'd probably go out of your mind.

Oh my god OP!

I recently had 3 weeks off between ending my old job and starting a new one. They were absolutely glorious.

I got up, did all the housework and chores and had a workout by 10 am each day!!!

I had SO MUCH TIME to myself to relax. It was absolutely incredible.

I have no intention of giving up work and wasting my education but my god. My job is very demanding and corporate and I regularly work 60 hour weeks.

Being a housewife for a few weeks was the easier job I ever had and I absolutely loved it!!

No offence but I honestly don’t understand how people with a toddler or two can’t get anything done. Why? I work with 1-3 year olds (not in the UK) and can easily manage 8-10 kids on my own if I have to, give them lunch and tidy up, keep the place tidy, get them to go to sleep etc. This afternoon we sorted out toys, hoovered and made some play doh for tomorrow. I know it’s my job, but still.

I always think the people who get bored lack imagination, motivation or funds. There's so much to do, see, learn/experience outside of work.

I'd love being at home with my paycheck.

I feel this soo much. I’m such a contented person when given my own time and space. Hoping against hope that some home-time is in my future.

I can imagine nothing worse. I would never give up my financial independence and I loath and despise housework - it’s never bloody finished!!

I loved it when my children were little and love it now I'm retired.... It's an under rated important job that I Nablus everything to run smoothly. Now I see people frazzled trying to do it all.
I do love homely things though, like cooking, gardening, decorating and knitting. Just what is derided by those who would be bored. Never bored. All different I guess but seeing toddlers in pj's blinking their way into nursery and being picked up tired and wanting a cuddle seals it for me. Life was simpler for me back then and I loved it. Did some early evening work and homework so I had some money too

I enjoyed it for about 14 months then went back to work part time which I’m hoping will give some nice balance!! No way I am prepared to work full time and have small child. I know many do but I’ll do everything/have done everything to prepare so that wasn’t my path because the stress of work and then stress of rushing at home and everything being chaotic would cause me a breakdown. I know I’ll go back full time when he’s older so some hectic is inevitable. I think I’d be bored as a permanent housewife but my maternity leave was heavenly! X

I'm not relating this to a SAHM to young children I don't think it's the same. If I could have my full time wages I'd work one day a week the rest leisure time.

I see this logic all the time on here from people who are defensive about not working and feel the need to attack those who do work for “being part of somebody else’s agenda” or some such.

This logic cuts both ways though. You are entitled to enjoy the thought of not working, I am entitled to find the prospect depressing.

No one is disparaging you from finding the idea appealing, but people who enjoy work also have the right to find enjoyment and validation in their work without being stereotyped as corporate stooges.

This is the unpleasant mirror image of the “SAHMs are all bored” trope and it’s no worthier than the original.

There’s a big difference between ‘house wife’ and ‘SAHM’ largely having children under school age, or significant AN that mean schooling is unreliable or requires much more involvement.

Being a ‘housewife’ and having all day whilst the kids are at school to achieve stuff, run errands and do jobs must be lovely. I can only imagine you feel rather organised.

Being a SAHM is hideous. I have two toddlers, never achieve a single thing and can’t even pee alone. My quality of life is awful and I desperately miss the ‘break’ of being in my admin job.

They are two totally different roles.

My neighbour is a SAHM to three totally neurotypical teens. One is at uni so just visits, another is away at boarding school and the third is about to go to boarding school…. She plays a lot of tennis and looks to have a wonderful life.

I did this for 3 months and was bored shitless, husband expected full homecooked meals every day (his Mum got up at 5am everyday and hoovered and dusted the whole house, worked fulltime, had 3 kids and cooked from scratch a 2 course meal every night 😳)He used to call me multiple times a day just to see what I was 'doing' Sometimes I would be in Bluewater with my friend in the JL champagne bar but say I was in Sainsburys and then annoyingly he'd say 'Can you get me some xyz please?' So then I would absolutely have to go to Sainsburys! No the roles are reversed and he works from home, I do get that home cooked meal everyday but my weight has ballooned!!! I'm so glad it was only 3 months! 😂

I think the thing that happens with these discussions is that people feel their own inner desires for how they wish they could live their lives going under scrutiny.

People who dream of being stay at home parents/housewives etc. often end up being painted as rather twee little women who are content washing dishes day after day and require limited stimulation, which isn’t nice. On the other side of the coin are the women who want to be out working most of the week, who get the badge of “has to have work to occupy her because she’s too dull to get enjoyment out of a life without employment”.

We all just want to feel fulfilled in life. There are harsh stereotypes and assumptions on both sides that can come out unfortunately.

I'm a single parent and would love to be a housewife. Only have a house to keep instead of house and work. I wouldn't get bored as I would be writing novels and trying to get them published.

My dream life is to be at home writing and getting paid enough to be comfortable.