Page 4 | To think being a housewife might be nice ?

Felixss · 2023-04-13T13:55:32+00:00

I'm on leave I've managed to get the housework done the deep cleaning , decluttered, sorted my clothes and 3 tip runs. I've washed the covers on the sofa and got through a mountain of laundry. Food shop delivered, put away and ordered DDs new shoes. I'm going to sand down and paint DDs chest of drawers. To top it off I've cooked a lovely healthy meal for the family. I feel really pleased I've managed to do all the jobs I've been meaning to do. I'm always snowed under stressed from work and end up not doing it all. I do have a cleaner but they don't do the nitty gritty really. AIBU to think being a house wife actually might be nice ? Less pressure and you can complete all the home stuff at your leisure. 🤣 I wouldn't do this as I've worked so hard to get where I am but I can see why it might be tempting.

Itsnotpacific · 13/04/2023 18:36

Dweetfidilove · 13/04/2023 17:59

I always think the people who get bored lack imagination, motivation or funds. There's so much to do, see, learn/experience outside of work.

I'd love being at home with my paycheck.

But that like comparing apples and pears.
Op said housewife not student, traveller or volunteer.
Housewife.

I really hate it when people do the whole "only boring people are bored" crap.
As a midwife, yes being a housewife would be as dull as fuck.
People are allowed to be different

Botw1 · 13/04/2023 18:37

Absolutely not.

I'd hate it

I wouldnt want to live off my oh. I like having my own money

I love my job. Its hugely important to me. Not working would be really lazy and I'd be bored stupid.

We both work full time and still manage to fit everything in, I dont find it at all stressful

WildFlowerBees · 13/04/2023 18:37

God no! I've had time off to look after my dh after a major op. The endless cooking, cleaning, laundry is so boring. I feel like I'm in a hamster wheel. I'm looking forward to his recovery so I can get some of me back!

Botw1 · 13/04/2023 18:42

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/04/2023 18:19

I see this logic all the time on here from people who are defensive about not working and feel the need to attack those who do work for “being part of somebody else’s agenda” or some such.

This logic cuts both ways though. You are entitled to enjoy the thought of not working, I am entitled to find the prospect depressing.

No one is disparaging you from finding the idea appealing, but people who enjoy work also have the right to find enjoyment and validation in their work without being stereotyped as corporate stooges.

This is the unpleasant mirror image of the “SAHMs are all bored” trope and it’s no worthier than the original.

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Plus in reality, they are only able to not work because someone else is and funding them

They seem OK with other people working for the 'man' and to someone else's 'agenda' when they're taking the money.

IAmMeThisIsI · 13/04/2023 18:42

Yes, there's nothing wrong with having a more traditional role as a woman. And I'm sure the husband's of the housewives really appreciate all the help the housewife gives in order for him to work and provide a nice home and pay bills for the family. I admire women who have this role and look up to them. I agree, OP. It's very satisfying and rewarding to get things done. Also, when I can I love maintaining the home and keeping it uncluttered etc. Therefore my vote is YANBU!

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 13/04/2023 18:45

I'd rather be married to a housewife, than be one, I think

IAmMeThisIsI · 13/04/2023 18:46

tattygrl · 13/04/2023 18:34

I think the thing that happens with these discussions is that people feel their own inner desires for how they wish they could live their lives going under scrutiny.

People who dream of being stay at home parents/housewives etc. often end up being painted as rather twee little women who are content washing dishes day after day and require limited stimulation, which isn’t nice. On the other side of the coin are the women who want to be out working most of the week, who get the badge of “has to have work to occupy her because she’s too dull to get enjoyment out of a life without employment”.

We all just want to feel fulfilled in life. There are harsh stereotypes and assumptions on both sides that can come out unfortunately.

Yes, that's a really good point! I think we should all support each other as women and encourage all types of healthy lifestyles! As long as you're happy and healthy, who cares? We shouldn't judge anyone on whether or not they work or are a housewife. Both roles are equally as important in different ways.

Botw1 · 13/04/2023 18:48

IAmMeThisIsI · 13/04/2023 18:42

Yes, there's nothing wrong with having a more traditional role as a woman. And I'm sure the husband's of the housewives really appreciate all the help the housewife gives in order for him to work and provide a nice home and pay bills for the family. I admire women who have this role and look up to them. I agree, OP. It's very satisfying and rewarding to get things done. Also, when I can I love maintaining the home and keeping it uncluttered etc. Therefore my vote is YANBU!

🤢🤢

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/04/2023 18:51

@Botw1

Plus in reality, they are only able to not work because someone else is and funding them

Well yes indeed. I didn’t even go there but you’re right: obviously it’s easier to look down on corporate stooges when your husband pays for everything.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/04/2023 18:58

MysteryBelle · 13/04/2023 17:44

YES! I don’t get the posters who say they’d get bored. I’m not the type of person who gets bored, there are so many things to do, to learn, to achieve that have nothing to do with a 9-5 job working for someone else’s agenda, and nothing to do with housework itself.

I really enjoy my career, it fulfils me in a way I don't think anything else can such as hobbies etc.

I also enjoy the financial independence and wouldn't want to give that up.

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/04/2023 19:02

Botw1 · 13/04/2023 18:42

Plus in reality, they are only able to not work because someone else is and funding them

They seem OK with other people working for the 'man' and to someone else's 'agenda' when they're taking the money.

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Exactly this too.

It wouldn't seem fair to me to be doing hobbies, relaxing etc if my husband is the one taking on the financial burden alone.

Kvetching · 13/04/2023 19:02

I love having the odd day to potter at home, but I’d go mad if I did it every day.

I’ve worked hard to get where I am professionally. I can’t imagine getting a huge amount of pleasure (nor respect) from keeping house.

Original poster

Felixss · 13/04/2023 19:03

Itsnotpacific · 13/04/2023 18:36

But that like comparing apples and pears.
Op said housewife not student, traveller or volunteer.
Housewife.

I really hate it when people do the whole "only boring people are bored" crap.
As a midwife, yes being a housewife would be as dull as fuck.
People are allowed to be different

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I'm a HCP work is definitely not dull as fuck but by the time I've got home there's too much to do and no energy left. I feel like my home is neglected because of the job I'd love to go down to 1 day a week with the same money 🤣🤣. The rest tinkering with my house or doing hobbies.

OP posts:

RememberingGoodTimes · 13/04/2023 19:05

Nope! Doing that would get incredibly boring.

And I'd miss an cash boost every month.

Vallmo47 · 13/04/2023 19:07

It’s amazing!

LindorDoubleChoc · 13/04/2023 19:08

It's hella boring unless you are one of those weird ones who enjoy domestic drudgery.

washrinse · 13/04/2023 19:14

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/04/2023 19:02

Exactly this too.

It wouldn't seem fair to me to be doing hobbies, relaxing etc if my husband is the one taking on the financial burden alone.

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It depends I guess. If we are talking about SAHP then they’re saving the household a lot of childcare fees and also saving the working parent any stress about who covers sickness, strike days, etc.
I know for sure DH doesn’t feel burdened being the sole earner right now but I always make it clear that if he wants to step back in terms of job stress and earn less then I’d start looking seriously for work.

MysteryBelle · 13/04/2023 19:17

Thepeopleversuswork · 13/04/2023 18:19

I see this logic all the time on here from people who are defensive about not working and feel the need to attack those who do work for “being part of somebody else’s agenda” or some such.

This logic cuts both ways though. You are entitled to enjoy the thought of not working, I am entitled to find the prospect depressing.

No one is disparaging you from finding the idea appealing, but people who enjoy work also have the right to find enjoyment and validation in their work without being stereotyped as corporate stooges.

This is the unpleasant mirror image of the “SAHMs are all bored” trope and it’s no worthier than the original.

Show quote history

It struck me as those posters were basically saying being at home, sahm, etc is boring, so they were the ones who were referring to that trope first.

ZeroPlastic · 13/04/2023 19:23

I'm currently on gardening leave before starting a new job so have had quite a lot of days like this, plus going for long country walks, visiting galleries, having nice lunches etc. I'm really enjoying it. However I think that enjoyment comes partly from the fact I know it's for a finite amount of time- I'd feel a bit aimless doing it every day.

I have friends who are housewives with large household incomes and every one of them has taken on a project in addition to being at home, such as post-grad study or a significant amount of volunteering. Just being at home starts to grate after a while once the kids are at school.

loveliesbleeding1 · 13/04/2023 19:24

I’m a housewife,not a SAHM and I love it.
It happened completely accidentally when I sold my business a month before covid hit the UK and it works for me and my Husband and family.

BounceyB · 13/04/2023 19:30

I love the idea of having a more traditional role. Particularly now I've just moved house and have a month's worth of work to do and only 3 days left to do it. Unfortunately, since I left ex-h it's not been possible. However, I also feel grateful I have a job I enjoy where the pay isn't completely shit. I've worked hard the past few years and I'm proud of what I've done.

JustDanceAddict · 13/04/2023 19:32

No, it’s boring AF.

TeaCosyApplePie · 13/04/2023 19:35

I was one for a number of years, now I'm back at work in a senior role and have been for some time. I miss being a housewife terribly if I'm being honest. Yes work is stimulating yada yada, but I loved keeping house, baking etc. not exactly girl power but it was better than the corporate grind!

megletthesecond · 13/04/2023 19:35

Yanbu. I'm a lone parent and would love it. I'd be healthier (no IBS pain in lockdown), calmer in a tidy house, time to read in the evening, easier to deal with teen stress, wouldn't be spending so much on food as I could cook more, could arrange to meet friends as I'd have evenings again....

SouthLondonMum22 · 13/04/2023 19:35

washrinse · 13/04/2023 19:14

It depends I guess. If we are talking about SAHP then they’re saving the household a lot of childcare fees and also saving the working parent any stress about who covers sickness, strike days, etc.
I know for sure DH doesn’t feel burdened being the sole earner right now but I always make it clear that if he wants to step back in terms of job stress and earn less then I’d start looking seriously for work.

Show quote history

It still doesn't feel fair to me because childcare fees are temporary and during that time, the SAHP is missing out on earning potential and a gap on the CV is also usually a disadvantage which can make it difficult later.