To take my friend on holiday for free?

[Trul]

DP and I booked a luxury all-inclusive holiday abroad a few months ago. Due to unforeseen circumstances, and despite our best efforts, it's now unlikely that DP will be able to come. We cannot get a refund or reschedule as the holiday is now only a few weeks away. Between DP and I, we earn well into six figures and the holiday is already paid for upfront.

I have said to DP that I will take my friend, which he is happy with, but he wants my friend to pay for 'his' share. My friend is a single parent to an autistic DC, there is no way she could ever afford to pay for his share. I've suggested that as it's already paid for, and is no financial loss to us, I take my friend for free. She can pay for a few meals / drinks out there, if she wishes. I'm sure my friend will offer to pay a token amount, but as it's already paid for, and the other option is me going alone or us both losing out completely, I'd rather she didn't. It would also make a much bigger impact to her (if she offered £500 for example), then if we lost out on that amount. She has been a very good friend to me over the years.

AIBU?

I agree the DP is a dog in the manger.
The money is spent and it's wasted if no one takes his place.
It sounds like your friend would love the break. Go for it!

I imagine that they’ve only booked one hotel room so however went in her partners place would have to be someone that op would be comfortable sharing a room / bed with.

Just tell your DP you will not go alone. So either no one uses the holiday or your friend comes. And your friend is coming.

Yes take your friend for free and try not to expect too much in return re your friend paying for meals and drinks or trips etc.

My parents kindly book a holiday for us all each summer and so we try to pay if we go for a meal (on the holiday and the odd occasion at another time) but even though this would be a fraction of the cost of what they have paid we can't afford to do it often or anywhere expensive. Fortunately we are all happy to self cater most of the time - taking it in turns to prepare food for everyone and maybe have one pub meal and one fish and chips night.

Just basically saying just because you can take her on holiday that doesn't mean she can afford to pay for much in return. She hasn't saved x amount on the holiday because she could never afford to budget for it in the first place. She might also have very little in the was of clothes for the climate and need to get some. I'm sure she will be thrilled to be asked if there are no expectations on her and you are happy to make the most of the all inclusive offer.

How mean-spirited of him.

What a turn-off!

He seems a bit lacking in generosity but perhaps he isn't understanding things.

Is your invitation to your friend just charitable (you can give her a holiday she wouldn't be able to afford) or is it also good for you (you'd prefer to have her company and not go alone)?

If your DH thinks you'd be happier alone - I can see why he thinks your friend should pay.

If her company (and the chance to make her life better) are a pleasure to you - you need to tell him.

If you would lose the money anyway I don't quite get why it is an issue. Good friends are hard to come by.

Yes! Mumsnet Bingo at its finest 😁

Totally different scenario. This holiday is already booked and paid for, and they can't get a refund. Specifically booking a fully paid holiday with a friend isn't the same thing.

He is wrong here. You should take your friend for free.