To think all kids should be included?

[Thisisit2323]

Should all kids be included by step grandparents? Would you expect it if buying for one they buy for all on occasions like Xmas , Easter etc ? Is it ok to only buy for some of the kids and leave the others out because your not blood related even if you have been together many years?
Big row over this after it constantly happening been made to feel I am in the wrong.

I've seen all your posts. They're not particularly coherent.

I waited seven years before we had any together then had two at once.

I was 29 when I got divorced

It’s pretty clear ai was asking what you think being realistic means in OP’s context.

If you want to play dumb so you don’t have to answer that that’s up to you

No, you were being judgemental of OP for having more kids. At least own it.

At least they don’t shame women for having a life after divorce.

Nor do anyone else's <yawn>

I reckon he blamed the OP for that index argument and made her look bad, in order to deflect the blame from him. Because he is weak. And that’s why they have ostracised the OP. I wouldn’t believe a word he says.

But it's obvious what "being realistic" means.

Accepting that blending all these children together with multiple parents and grandparents is complicated OP says she has 2 kids, her partner has 2 kids, they have 2 kids together. So 6 kids, four of whom aren't related to each other at all, two are related to the other four as half-siblings. Two other parents (OP's ex, her partner's ex) making 4 parents for these 6 kids. These parents all have parents, brothers, sisters, who may have kids of their own, who are related to some of the kids, but not all of the kids.

It's ridiculously complex and expecting that all of these dozens of people who are "family" to all get on with each other, all of the time, and play happy families with children who they are not related to is not realistic.

At least they don’t shame women for having a life after divorce.

Because the only way of "having a life" is having more children? Really? Clearly I've hit a nerve as you would feel you had to be so vocal in defending your position.

I personally would not have had the energy to juggle all the half-siblings, and grandparents and aunties who were aunties to some of my kids and not the others and cousins and all the rest of the family stuff. I would choose to prioritise the kids I already had rather than choosing to have more children with a new partner.

So OP should just accept her children by her ex being treated like citizen class citizens by in laws?

As I said, the children all exist now, she can’t send them back so telling her you wouldn’t have had more children is pointless.

Yes, your posts are boringly predictable, yawn away.

I didn’t realise at age 27 my life was over when he decided he had enough and wanted some fun. Women can’t move on like men can without being flamed so it seems.

massive YAWN at the so overused "shaming". Such a stupid buzzword.

Nobody is being "shamed" for having more children after divorce. They may be getting "shamed" for doing it and expecting it to be easy, or expecting everyone else to fit their notions of how family should be.

OP's boyfriend had an argument with his parents. OP doesn't know what it was, what was said, or why she and her children are being treated differently after it. But instead of finding out, or dealing with her obvious issues with her boyfriend, she's here complaining about how they should all be treated the same,no matter what.

It's naive, and not real life.

But you say this from a position you haven’t been in you can't possibly know what you would do as I never thought I would handle being a step parent and juggling it all but it’s surprising the resilience of ending up a lone single mom brings.

She should accept that her children do not have to be treated as grandchildren by people who are not their grandparents.

Clearly didn’t read full thread I do know what the argument was about and over. Hi I’m not naive they bought for my kids then stopped out the blue because of a row I had no part in so yes their being spiteful to my kids for F all.

It wasn’t a case of them ignoring the kids the entire time it’s a recent thing they have started doing.

Stepkids don’t matter to some posters on here their just the lowest of low and shouldn’t expect a shiny shit off anyone unless blood related 🙄

Not act grandparents but don’t totally ignore they exist. That’s another kettle of fish and not what the original post was about I don’t expect them to act as grandparents

Read it. You weren't there, you only know what he told you. You also said "I must have been dragged into it somehow" meaning you don't know how and you don't actaually know what was said.

I know what it was over though your acting like I don’t know anything.

But you seem to not know how you could possibly have been dragged into it?

You know only what he told you.

They treated all the kids the same, then there was a big argument, and now they don't.
Seems fairly obvious that somehting was said or happened in or around that argument that led them to stop what they doing.

Hardly a bizzare suggestion for you to find out what it was and see what you can do about it, is it?

It seems like they have included the 2 eldest though for 6 or 7 years and have recently stopped due to a fall out with Op. That’s very hurtful to the children especially if one has autism and doesn’t understand.
eg it sounds like Granny would previously send 6 Easter eggs and now she’s sent 4. So the eldest think there’s one for them and are upset. Op has told boyfriend not to go along with that after same happened at Christmas and he’s ignored.
Obviously if from start granny hadn’t included them or had bought them a crème egg v a big egg that sets the tone but if the children have all been treated same until fall out it’s unkind and hurtful.

I have asked and he said they didn’t mention me , he’s been unhappy with a lot of their behaviour over other things and festers on it and never speaks up. He was crying on our family holiday about 20 months ago about them and I said he needed to speak to them about this which he never did.
I think it all built up and the incident happened and he’s exploded at them he told me what he said and I think his mom was taken aback about what he said.
I think that’s what it comes down to that because he said what he did I must be behind it because he can’t possibly really think what he does deep down.
I knew they thought that I was to blame but I actually had no part in it and actually avoid conflict in general.
His mom spoke to me as normal before Xmas but like I said showed up with gifts and non for my other kids.