To be annoyed at other sites discussing mumsnet users?

[partlyportly]

I've noticed that some Mumsnet posts and discussions are being shared on other websites, forums, and social media platforms without the author's consent. I find this really frustrating and wonder if IABU in feeling this way.

I understand that Mumsnet is a public forum, and anyone can read and participate in discussions. But when our posts are taken out of context and shared elsewhere, it feels like a violation of our privacy and a breach of trust. It's especially frustrating when people on other sites start making assumptions or passing judgment based on a single post they've seen, without knowing the full story.

I'm not saying that Mumsnet discussions should be kept completely private, but I do think that we should have some control over where our posts end up. It would be helpful if we could have an option to mark our posts as "private" or "not for sharing," so that we know that they won't be legally copied and pasted elsewhere without our permission.

I'm curious to know if other Mumsnet members feel the same way. Does it bother you when Mumsnet posts are shared on other sites?

YABU = It's the internet, deal with it
YANBU = It's poor form, I don't like it

In all honesty you were very naïve to post a photo.

Best way to look at it is, once it's on the Internet, it's public property. If you wouldn't be happy with potentially anyone knowing/seeing it (family, friends, boss...), don't post it. If you don't want it linked to you, post anonymously and change details where you can. That way, even if you're recognised, there's nothing else to link to you.

@cloudsandream

Still makes me a tad upset when I think of it but yeah, assuming by posters on here it was/is my fault because this place is public.

Whose fault is it that information you posted publicly is posted publicly ?

YABU. That's what happens, especially when some posters are going the extra mile to be extra-horrible...

People like you make this place nasty. Yes it was me who made it public, but I really wanted some support. I agreed to post it to Mumsnet, not to some gossiping snide dicksite by the name of DM. Don’t be so bloody awful, it’s perfectly justified for women to post on here looking for support and being upset when it’s taken out of context on other websites. Especially if the topic is sensitive, or is that now allowed either?

MN has long past the point of being a supportive place on the internet.

As an example, this thread is already being actively discussed on Tattle, specifically the posters upset that their outfits were shared there - another poster from the S&B thread has already been copied from this thread.
Although you may want it to stay on MN and not be copied elsewhere, unfortunately it won't happen. There's no harm in wanting the environment you describe, but you do need to be aware it'll never stay on MN and not be pulled apart elsewhere.

Oh right, you were referring to an entirely different topic to the one being discussed on the thread

Why are you looking to argue @MiddleParking? It's just weird. It's not that hard to admit that you misunderstood and say 'oh nevermind'. Data protection was part of my wider point where i actually agreed that we can't guarantee things won't be shared.

Maybe go over to tattle, more your vibe

I know the hatred of the DM on this site but you do realise that other outlets quote some of the crazies from MN too?

They don't need to protect stuff you freely post on the public forums.

I know, that's exactly what I was saying. I was making the point that we take the risk to post (and things be reposted). We don't think consciously about it, but it's still the internet. But we expect our data to be protected. So if it's shared, it's shared anonymously.

I know this is the case already but I removed a thread on site stuff where there were questions raised about MN's data protection for emails or something.

Did you know Mumsnet sells those to the Mail?
They pay for a licence to use whatever they can, It's why they can use the screenshots of the full page with logos etc and link directly to the site.

Why on earth would you post a photo of your outfit on the internet if you didn't want any negative comments?

As has been posted upthread, there are some pretty bitchy and snooty comments on S&B board sometimes too

I think newspapers who use the content should be required at the very least to make a charitable donation.

@DogDream well spotted 😄

@partlyportly I know its upsetting but it isn't actually personal against you. I found that thread when it was mentioned here a few weeks ago and it's just another one of those places where people give themselves permission to be bitchy and delight in doing so.

The result is that the threads become about being bitchy rather than whatever-it-is they're ostensibly about. Some of those who post there probably wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life - the internet is a weird place where social norms are shaped into something different.

You see it here at times too, when people get into arguments (like upthread) instead of just saying 'sorry' and moving on, it gives people a sense of power and they find themselves giving the replies they'd love to give in real life but don't.

There will always be unkind people and there will always be people who read posts and think bitchy stuff but don't reply- the trick is not to give it headroom. Just because they say it, doesn't make it valid.

I agreed to post it to Mumsnet, not to some gossiping snide dicksite by the name of DM.

Unfortunately, that's the same thing. It was public.

Think of the internet as a worldwide public billboard. Anyone in the world can see it and anyone can call a friend over from anywhere else in the world to look at it and comment on it.

It's in the public domain. You cannot control where it goes or what people say about it.

So the Daily Mail pays MN a fee so it can freely reproduce content posted here?

I only found out about this site because I read stories online that credited MN. I’m in Australia.

Nobody on the internet has promised that you can trust them and you shouldn't assume that you can

Louder for the people in the back! Please remember this, and moreover, teach it to your children.

Is that true, or are you thinking of an NLA media licence that gives organisations the right to copy and distribute media articles? That wouldn't

MN will sometimes take down a thread if the press picks it up.

@cloudsandream

People like you make this place nasty. Yes it was me who made it public, but I really wanted some support. I agreed to post it to Mumsnet, not to some gossiping snide dicksite by the name of DM. Don’t be so bloody awful, it’s perfectly justified for women to post on here looking for support and being upset when it’s taken out of context on other websites. Especially if the topic is sensitive, or is that now allowed either?

I apologise if you think my comment was nasty.
I assume you will also think my reply now is nasty. I, on the other hand think it is factual. When you joined the site the terms and conditions will have made the lack of privacy clear. It is a known fact the Daily Mail and other papers lift stories from here. I am sorry that sensitive information was shared by other people but you did choose to make it public initially. No one is stopping you posting.

Exactly.

I don't know why people are so keen to portray Reddit and MN as these awful cesspits where everyone is slagged off and bitched about - MN is no better!

MN is definitely better than some sub Reddits. They've been known to orchestrate online and real life hate and intimidation campaigns against people.

I'm not sure. There is definitely a willingness by MN moderators to delete reported posts/threads as being "not in the spirit of the site", whereas I think that very raison d'etre of Tattle is to bitch and criticise and say all the mean things that MN tries to moderate out. That's fine, Tattle are up front about that. Different sites, different spirits.

You cannot expect any privacy re what you choose to type on a forum on the internet.

You also don't own what you type here. MN does.
And they can't even stop other sites using it.

While your email address etc are private and should be protected by mn, your public posts are exactly that. Public. Fair game. You'll never stop them being talked about on other sites.

Sorry that happened to you.

Have they shared the pic or thread? You could get MN to delete your post on the thread.

And you could ask a Tattle admin to remove your picture.