To be annoyed at other sites discussing mumsnet users?

[partlyportly]

I've noticed that some Mumsnet posts and discussions are being shared on other websites, forums, and social media platforms without the author's consent. I find this really frustrating and wonder if IABU in feeling this way.

I understand that Mumsnet is a public forum, and anyone can read and participate in discussions. But when our posts are taken out of context and shared elsewhere, it feels like a violation of our privacy and a breach of trust. It's especially frustrating when people on other sites start making assumptions or passing judgment based on a single post they've seen, without knowing the full story.

I'm not saying that Mumsnet discussions should be kept completely private, but I do think that we should have some control over where our posts end up. It would be helpful if we could have an option to mark our posts as "private" or "not for sharing," so that we know that they won't be legally copied and pasted elsewhere without our permission.

I'm curious to know if other Mumsnet members feel the same way. Does it bother you when Mumsnet posts are shared on other sites?

YABU = It's the internet, deal with it
YANBU = It's poor form, I don't like it

You say that but that's ridiculous. So never discuss relationship issues on Mumsnet, or health matters? Or basically anything besides chit chat? The whole point of being anonymous is you can share things you wouldn't in real life.

Of course we have no control where our posts are shared, I just hope MN have decent security behind the scenes to protect us

Also, I really wouldn't go looking on sites like that. Nothing good will come of it it

That must have been horrible OP.

Pointless nastiness is horrible anywhere. I think the ethos and moderation (‘the spirit’) of MN lead us to believe it is a wholesome and helpful place. But in the end it is part of the big wide unregulated internet.

Tattle is horrible. Take no notice. They’ve absolutely ripped apart some of the most lovely, completely harmless families I follow on travel vlogs and speak to on holiday forums. Just vile. If you don’t like something fair enough but to pick people apart when they’re just posting normal, holiday stuff with their kids or partners is just so unnecessary. Shows exactly what the kind of people on Tattle are, it’s just bullying.

It is pretty brutal but then so are some of the ladies who post on here. Lately I’m more shocked than ever how women just want to bring other women down all the time

Thats shows how bitchy it can be here. People positively cackling waiting to rip people apart. Can you not find somewhere else like Vinted for this? A lot of people on here are seeking out to be shiity so I personally would never ever post pictures. They are probly sitting in their 30 year old dressing gowns with a gressy bun chain smoking in bed. They are on here and Redit, tattle. They probly don't have time to get dressed or leave the house. Or shower

Copyright is automatic in the UK. Mumsnet does own it. However copying a single post/thread would easily be covered by the fair use exemptions (criticism and comment). Copyright isn't as far reaching as people think, or as some rights holders like to pretend.

If you want your opinions to remain private, don't put them on a public forum. Nothing else to add.

I wonder then if MN could take action if their copyrighted content is posted and dissected elsewhere?

Oh bless you. They WANT this to happen. It's part of their business model.

Yes this 100% it's a place to pass time waiting for the kettle to brew or for more specialist help ( elderly parents, house keeping etc). It's not universally supportive across the site. If people thought they could rip you apart whilst posting for advice on dementia care, they would go there too.

If you don’t want your relationship/health issues to become public knowledge, yes.

When you post on the internet you need to post as if the people you’re posting about can read it, on the basis they may already be reading it. Because the reality is that when you put your private business on an internet forum you have no control over who reads it.

And even if mn could do something about posts being shared elsewhere, MN is still a public entity, so it changes nothing.

What exactly is it you think MN should be doing to “protect our security,” you’re an adult, your security is your own responsibility.

@ChocChipHandbag oh totally. It drives traffic to the site. But even if they did want to take action, they couldn't. Well, I suppose they could, but the suit would be dismissed.

I'm sorry that happened to you OP. The opinion of a stranger is only worth the time you give it.

As a PP mentioned since we can't make a TAAT then it's inevitable there will be some spillover somewhere else. The troll hunting reddit sub I feel often mislabels genuine posters as trolls and that could be upsetting for them if they knew about it. I feel less sympathy for the sex chatters being discussed at feʍvox.

I don't do tattle because I just don't believe in the spirit of the site.

Tbf style and beauty on mumsnet can be pretty harsh to posters so other websites will just be the same .

What sort of security?

OP, but you could only have known you were being slagged off on tattle if you were reading the thread. So it’s a bit disingenuous to be upset that you’re the subject of some tattle bitching when you’re reading the tattle bitching bread yourself isn’t it?

I have no idea what tattle even is and have no inclination to go looking, but it’s a bit like the daily mail when people post “sorry it’s the daily mail/I don’t read the daily mail but here’s <insert article of choice>” and actually, they would only know if an article were there if they were reading it. Which is the same as people who are upset about the stuff posted on tattle, what exactly were you doing lurking on the bitching threads if not to be a part of it.

But we do have control - we can choose not to post revealing info. I’m sorry your pic has been shared but that’s the risk when you post such identifiable information on one of the UK’s biggest public forums.

The only thing that you can do is avoid Tattle and its ilk. I don't know the forum but how did you come across the thread? The important thing to remember is that you should never post anything on MN that identifies you in any way.

If someone on a mean thread/forum rips your post/picture to shreds, that is not nice to read because you know it's you, so it seems real. But nobody who k owns you, reading that thread, would know it was you, IYSWIM. So as long as YOU avoid it, it has no impact on you.

What's the difference between being bitched about/ripped apart on MN and on other sites?

You were very naive to post a photo of yourself, to be honest.

Wait you must have been on tattle to see it 🙄

I’ve never been on Tattle but seeing some of the comments on the Reddit Trolls page is brutal as fuck. On some occasions a few posters there will start a thread bitching about a poster from here which I find so weird.

People’s threads get ripped to shreds over there. I don’t think that should be allowed but as people have said, it’s the internet. Unfortunately you can’t control what people say/do with what’s posted on here

Agree with others that you can’t find things like that unless you go look for it

I know Tattle has a reputation but I do read some of the celebrity threads. Have never posted and didn’t even know there was a MN thread over there

It’s a public site. You don’t even need to register to post.

There is as much right to privacy as you’d get taking out a full page advert in the national press.

Horrible experience, I'm sorry to hear that.

Because MN is moderated and does have a community vibe at times, it does feel more private/safer. But it isn't.

I think it's more bizarre that newspapers take these from here as actual news.
"Mum is shocked by something her husband does"
"Mum's dilemma over her mother in law"
"Sadface mum doesn't understand why everyone hates the name of her baby:'But Plntpt is a lovely name. And I thought leaving the vowels out would make it seem Welsh. '"