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AIBU?

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Original poster

SIL said i was rude, i think she was rude. Strange fight about grill party

172 replies

Typeheretosearch · 11/04/2023 09:35

Help me understand if i was rude or SIL was out of line.

Some background info:
We host Easter party since many years (same as Christmas and other parties) and we are happy to do so
SIL's family is way wealthier than us
SIL and her DH are absolutely not generous

On Easter day, i was in the kitchen prepping food and SIL's DH asked if he could store their meat in our fridge.
It happened already in the past that SIL brought some meat specific for them at our grill parties so i did not think so much about it.
When we started to grill I told my DH which one was SIL's meat and I made sure their meat finished on their tray.

At the end of the party, she opened the fridge and saw that their meat was not there anymore and she asked where it was. I explained her that i thought it was the meat they wanted to eat at the party and she was very pissed off.
She said that it was their meat, that they wanted to eat the day after, it was not to be shared, and i had to right to use it without asking.
I apologized, it was clearly a misunderstanding, and she went on saying that i threw off her plans etc.
I did not know what to say, so i apologized again and told her she could take something out of our fridge to cover for tomorrow.

She then took all the meat she found (which was supposed to cover our family of 4 for the week) and said again that she found very rude that i used their meat instead of the one i had in the fridge. (Which i actually DID use. I just did not use the food i bought for the normal week)

I was then distracted by my toddler trying to climb on the table and by the time i was back she had left with her family.

So, she thinks i was very rude, and i think she was super rude.

What do you think?

OP posts:
Bansheed · 11/04/2023 10:02

Was all the cooked meat eaten? Did she not notice she had more on her tray, than she anticipated. ( assuming you cook the meat that people bring and keep it separate)

She is not just rude, but antisocial and batshit.

EauNeu · 11/04/2023 10:04

So they stored their shopping in your fridge and you served it them for dinner?

I would replace it and file under funny misunderstanding

Gistbury · 11/04/2023 10:05

She is rude and ungrateful. Please don't pander to her

KalimbaMoon · 11/04/2023 10:06

A misunderstanding that was very easily made due to the fact she’s brought her own meat before and expected to eat it that day. Are you supposed to be a mind reader? She should have made it clear that she just wanted to store it there and not eat it. She is very rude to take your meat away. Even though you offered, that was very petty of her. Most normal people in her position would say don’t worry it’s okay, it was just a misunderstanding!

smizing · 11/04/2023 10:10

WTF???? WHY did you let her take your meat?

Riverlee · 11/04/2023 10:11

it was a misunderstanding rather than rudeness. You thought she was contributing to the family meal, and she assumed it was okay to store the meat in your fridge.

Enko · 11/04/2023 10:15

NowZeusHasLainWithLeda · 11/04/2023 09:47

Well, tbf, she didn't specify the meat wasn't for the party, and you cooked it, so you kind of both contributed to the initial misunderstanding.
You then told her she could take some of your meat to compensate. Which she did. She was possibly a cheeky fucker by taking all your meat, but if you just said "take what you want/need of what's in the fridge" then you can't then complain that she did.

She sounds unpleasant but the initial misunderstanding was on both of you.

I agree with this.

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 11/04/2023 10:16

So they found a shop open on Easter Day and all they bought was meat? No milk or bread or eggs or anything? JUST meat? That's odd. And if I've ever had to store stuff in someone else's fridge for a while then I've wrapped it in the shop bags that it came in so nobody can see what it is (in case of CFs who like to pinch food).
I think it was just a misunderstanding on both sides, but telling you WHY they were putting food in your fridge would have solved it all. A quick 'we found a little Sainsburys open so we popped in and picked up some stuff for tomorrow, can we put it in your fridge while we're here?' would have sorted that. Communication breakdown. Shrug and move on.

ajandjjmum · 11/04/2023 10:17

Riverlee · 11/04/2023 10:11

it was a misunderstanding rather than rudeness. You thought she was contributing to the family meal, and she assumed it was okay to store the meat in your fridge.

You're right - it was all down to a misunderstanding. Her reaction was incredibly rude though.

Schnooze · 11/04/2023 10:18

She was bloody rude!

Jyanei · 11/04/2023 10:18

So she didn't plan to contribute any food at all?

I wouldn't let her back in the house again. Life's too short to have to deal with cheeky grifters like that.

TolkiensFallow · 11/04/2023 10:19

Your sil is very weird and you are not rude.

Surely she noticed that she ate the meat when you served it to her?

MrsSkylerWhite · 11/04/2023 10:19

Confused. I assumed when you said it was their meat for the next day that they were staying overnight. You then said they had gone home.

Why on earth did they bring next day’s dinner to your house?

HavfrueDenizKisi · 11/04/2023 10:20

Well that's the end of any invites for them from now on. Job done.

LadyEloise1 · 11/04/2023 10:21

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 11/04/2023 09:51

You weren't rude but you were a wet lettuce. Don't tell someone with no social graces to take your meat then get upset when they take it.

I agree.
But your sil is a mean, rude, nasty person as well.

CalpolDependant · 11/04/2023 10:23

I have to assume from the wording of your post that she is your husband’s sister and not your brother’s wife.

In this case, the solution is simple: LTB. Irreconcilable differences: meat.

diddl · 11/04/2023 10:24

So two women falling out because a man didn't explain!

SwedishEdith · 11/04/2023 10:24

I don't understand the meat situation. Was the meat they brought prepared for a barbecue because it usually needs cutting and marinating beforehand. What meat did they bring?

She sounds horrible though and I don't understand why you host everything.

Oakyloaky · 11/04/2023 10:25

How rude ! Why do you host every occasion at your house ?
Definitely no more invites would be going in their direction again .

AnneElliott · 11/04/2023 10:25

She's BU. Maybe understandable if they were skint and it was their meat for the week but since tu say they're wealthy then she's completely BU.

Mirabai · 11/04/2023 10:28

Unbelievably rude.

To have the temerity to take your meat out of your fridge to take home. I’m genuinely astonished.

Personally I would never host her again.

avocadotofu · 11/04/2023 10:28

She was definitely the rude one. I'd stop hosting everyone TBH.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 11/04/2023 10:29

Very rude. She’s shown them both up to be ungenerous yet happy to use your house/garden/utilities cost if you want to be petty and to partake of your other food and drink.

What’s a grill party by the wad, surely it’s just a bbq?

No more invites to parties for her!

Skybluepinky · 11/04/2023 10:30

Don’t invite them again, u obviously have no respect for each other.

Spongebetty · 11/04/2023 10:30

She said that it was their meat, that they wanted to eat the day after, it was not to be shared, and i had to right to use it without asking.

Then she should have told you this ^

I did not know what to say, so i apologized again and told her she could take something out of our fridge to cover for tomorrow.

Stop being 'wet' OP.

And never invite this nasty women ever again.