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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's rude not to wait for guests..?

402 replies

easterbunnyz · 10/04/2023 17:59

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

OP posts:
Instructionmanual · 10/04/2023 18:01

5-6 means between 5 and 6, not after 6. I'd have got fed up and started eating too.

How about you narrow it down a bit next time? If they say between 5 and 6, you say you'll be there by 5.30 and do it.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 10/04/2023 18:02

You were a bit rude imo. Did you contact them to give them an eta?

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:03

It's ruder to be late.

GooglyEyeballs · 10/04/2023 18:03

You were late though?

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:03

Only a grumpy git would do that. I find it controlling and hostile.

Any normal person would give you a call to see how long you'll be.

YANBU.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2023 18:04

You were late.

If someone said "lunch around 5-6" I would be aiming to arrive just after five, with the assumption that we'd sit down to eat before six.

Sirzy · 10/04/2023 18:04

Ruder was you being late. Did you bother to let them know you where running late?

Aprilx · 10/04/2023 18:04

You were far ruder.

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:05

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:03

Only a grumpy git would do that. I find it controlling and hostile.

Any normal person would give you a call to see how long you'll be.

YANBU.

How is it controlling? It didn't control op into being on time...

LucifersLight · 10/04/2023 18:06

Being late is rude and a choice. YABU

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:06

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:03

Only a grumpy git would do that. I find it controlling and hostile.

Any normal person would give you a call to see how long you'll be.

YANBU.

Any decent person would've called or messaged and said we are running a little late......

The invite was fir between 5-6, not arrived so therefore it could be 7 before they arrived as they'd not bothered to explain.

MasterBeth · 10/04/2023 18:06

“Around 5-6” is not the same as “between 5 and 6”. You were not late.

They were very, very rude. Even if your guests are late (and you were not late), it’s extremely rude to eat without them!

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:07

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:05

How is it controlling? It didn't control op into being on time...

Show quote history

Because it's passive aggressive.

OP could have been late for any number of innocent reasons. You don't just eat regardless. At worst it's controlling, at best it's shit hosting.

OP will get piled on as most posters on AIBU do. People love a bit of aggro, makes them feel better.

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:07

MasterBeth · 10/04/2023 18:06

“Around 5-6” is not the same as “between 5 and 6”. You were not late.

They were very, very rude. Even if your guests are late (and you were not late), it’s extremely rude to eat without them!

Its extremely rude to not let your hosts know how late you're going to be. By het own admission OP accepts she was late.

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:08

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:06

Any decent person would've called or messaged and said we are running a little late......

The invite was fir between 5-6, not arrived so therefore it could be 7 before they arrived as they'd not bothered to explain.

Show quote history

You'd eat if your guests were 10 minutes later than the time given?

Great host! (not).

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:08

OP could have been late for any number of innocent reasons
And she could have called and said so, but she didn't.

GoodChat · 10/04/2023 18:08

Surely they meant dinner would be ready for that time - so you get there just before 5.

You were rude.

InFiveMins · 10/04/2023 18:08

You were late so YABU.

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:08

@RememberingGoodTimes it's lazy and entitled to not let your hosts know you're going to be late, for whatever reason.

BeetleBailey · 10/04/2023 18:09

I'd get an exact time nailed down if this is a regular occurrence

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:09

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:08

OP could have been late for any number of innocent reasons
And she could have called and said so, but she didn't.

Oh give over. You don't host dinner and eat without your guests. It's cringily rude and antisocial.

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:10

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:08

@RememberingGoodTimes it's lazy and entitled to not let your hosts know you're going to be late, for whatever reason.

And it's rude and antisocial to eat when your guests are 10 minutes late!

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:10

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:08

OP could have been late for any number of innocent reasons
And she could have called and said so, but she didn't.

Exactly!!

TwoThousandZeroZeroPartyOverOopsFoundMoreTime · 10/04/2023 18:10

They said dinner would be about 5-6pm so you arrive at 5pm

Not after 6pm

I would have dished up too and been annoyed you were late

The variation of time was to help the cook incase ot took
Longer not to have to wait for you to arrive!!

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:11

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:10

Exactly!!

Show quote history

Are you OPs parent? You sound quite invested in defending the parents pettiness.

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