To think it's rude not to wait for guests..?

[easterbunnyz]

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

I'd have texted or called to see how long you'd be when I put the yorkshires in cause that's when the clock really starts ticking in our house 🤣

Families are weird though over Easter dinner this year judging by the current threads in active

I call reverse

If it happens a lot, they're probably fed up of OP's lateness

"Between 5 and 6"means dinner will be ready between those times, so you're expected at 5; it's not a suggestion that you choose between 5 or 6 o'clock.

You're arguing away with every poster yet you haven't actually understood the issue.

If you know they start without you when you're not on time then why on earth would you show up late?

I'd take 5-6 to mean between 5 and 6. If I was told 5-6 I'd be there for 5. I certainly wouldn't expect others to let their dinner go cold because I showed up late.

@RememberingGoodTimes if dinner is being served between 5-6, you'd get there just on time to have your dinner served?

Me, I'd be there around 4.45, to bring in the gifts, wine etc, see if I could help, have a chat before my dinner was ready

I suppose we're all different, but I don't just visit for food, it's the chat and the socialising as well.

OP was told it would be between 5-6, she was so rude she

1 couldn't even make the window
2 didn't communicate that although the window was large, she was going to miss
3 she clearly left far too late, or hit a major problem and didn't even bother to tell her DP

So it's not even a miscommunication on her part, it's no communication, because she's being disrespectful!

You're very invested in this thread, are you the OPs sock?

Nonsense. Can you not read English? Not only was the OP not late but she says nowhere in her post that she was.

The invitation was for “around 5 - 6”. Not “between 5 & 6”. Certainly not “we will eat at 6”.

“Around” is ambiguous in itself. “Around 5 - 6” is worse. Does it mean “from around 5… until 6” or “anytime around the 5-6 hour” or even “around 5 to 6 (i.e. around 5.55).”

The OP was not late, or rude. The hosts were extremely rude.

Are timings usually so loose in your family?

If ‘they do this all the time’ means they always give you a vague time and you always err on the late side so they’ve always started without you then the problem is at least 50% with you!

Wrong. Read the original post. The OP was not invited between 5 & 6, but around 5 - 6. These things are not the same. At all.

If someone told me food was between 5-6, I would turn up at 4.30ish and offer to help and or chatter for a bit.
I think its odd to walk in someone's house and immediately sit down and eat. Surely you're there to see them too?
I wouldn't have started to eat before you arrived, but would have checked with you if you were after 5.20 ish, so I could delay the cooking to suit your arrival if it was crucial to the meal timings.

Yes, this.

The hosts didn’t say this. Can no-one on this thread read?

Or maybe they are fed up of op arriving late?

We once started eating Christmas lunch (Boxing Day get together) before DSis & her family arrived because they were late, again. It wasn’t passive aggressive, we were just fed up of having to eat dinner after the time everyone else (&the food) was ready.

@MasterBeth so why did OP say

If people were late start eating without them 🤔

It's almost like she was late and her parents started eating?

Comprehension issues? Or can't read English??

You were late, and worse than that you still expect to be at the centre of your parents’ world. YABVFU and very rude too. Make more effort, act like the adult you are.

Yes, perfectly well. We understand it; you don't.

When you say they do this all the time presumably you also mean YOU do this all the time.....so no, not rude.
In fact I'd be inclined to narrow your window and say we'll be eating around 5:30

@MasterBeth so you think they just told her to turn up in that hour slot for a laugh?

Sorry I should've said.. I was at work, I was unable to message until I finished mt shift

Wrong. Read the original post. The OP was not invited between 5 & 6, but around 5 - 6. These things are not the same. At all.

What time is it you consider around 5-6 then @MasterBeth ?

It is incredibly rude to turn up so late and not even let them know. You should have been there just after five.

It also sounds like you do it a lot so they’ve got fed up with it and decided not to bother waiting.

Also they are your parents not Bob and Brenda from the golf club who may well have waited whilst inwardly fuming just to be good hosts. They are family who sound like they are used to you being late and aren’t going to ruin dinners waiting for you any more.

Then surely you'd have already known you couldn't arrive in that window?

Sounds as if it’s happened before so they thought sod it, and got on with their meal. I’d do the same.

Didn’t you anticipate arriving before 5pm so that you and/or DH could give them a hand?

And your partner? And do you live next door and couldn't message en route?

How often do they do this? How often are you late?

😂
So you knew fine well you were never going to show up at the proper time?