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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it's rude not to wait for guests..?

402 replies

easterbunnyz · 10/04/2023 17:59

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

OP posts:
EmilyGilmoresSass · 10/04/2023 18:11

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 10/04/2023 18:02

You were a bit rude imo. Did you contact them to give them an eta?

A bit rude? If I said 5-6 then someone arrived after 6 I'm afraid I'd find that absolutely fucking pig ignorant, entitled and I'd likely not feed them at all!

TyneTeas · 10/04/2023 18:12

TwoThousandZeroZeroPartyOverOopsFoundMoreTime · 10/04/2023 18:10

They said dinner would be about 5-6pm so you arrive at 5pm

Not after 6pm

I would have dished up too and been annoyed you were late

The variation of time was to help the cook incase ot took
Longer not to have to wait for you to arrive!!

I agree

TheObstinateHeadstrongGirl · 10/04/2023 18:12

Oh I HATE it when people say ‘dinner will be between X and X’. Just give me a time FFS, an hour actually makes a difference to hunger and what time I’d eat lunch etc.

A but passive aggressive to just eat without you rather than call and say “Oi where are ya it’s ready”

Cnidarian · 10/04/2023 18:12

You're all rude!!

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:12

@RememberingGoodTimes but they didn't know they were going to be 10 mins late!!!

Because they weren't told.

So they might've been an hour late.

Marvellous things mobiles, you can ring ahead and let people know stuff,

You're being hosted, so have enough manners to advise your guests of the situation.

HI, really sorry, nightmare traffic, will be with you around 6.15.

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 10/04/2023 18:13

Why didn't you call to say you'd be there after 6?

SleepingStandingUp · 10/04/2023 18:13

You say they do it a lot, so how often are you late?

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:13

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:11

Are you OPs parent? You sound quite invested in defending the parents pettiness.

Show quote history

No. Are you? You seem adamant that you know what their motivation was.
I love it when someone who's posted far more than I have tells me I'm "quite invested" on a thread, btw 😂

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:13

@RememberingGoodTimes are you the entitled always late person without the manners to let anyone know...

Because your time is so much more important than your hosts, they can eat a ruined dinner, because you're late and so what?

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:14

I must be a lot more chilled out than I thought I was!

If I said dinner was 5-6, and my guest arrived at 6.15pm, I'd say "hey! How are you, come in. What do you want to drink with your dinner? It's ready now". We'd then sit and have a great time.

I would be mortified if a host ate their dinner before I arrived as I was 10/15 minutes late. I'd think they were petty and rude and I'd make a mental note that they weren't my kind of people.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/04/2023 18:14

Next time (if there is a next time) ask them for a specific time. 5pm or 6pm?

Then make sure that YOU turn up on time.

UndercoverCop · 10/04/2023 18:14

If as a guest, someone says dinner is between five and six, you don't walk in as they are dishing up, that's rude. You should've been there before five as it was you arrived after six. They are not rude, you are.

PuffinsRocks · 10/04/2023 18:14

Basically none of you communicated with each other. You should have called and said you were running late and they should have called and said "we're about to serve up" whenever they were ready and then this could have been solved with no one taking offence.

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:14

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:13

@RememberingGoodTimes are you the entitled always late person without the manners to let anyone know...

Because your time is so much more important than your hosts, they can eat a ruined dinner, because you're late and so what?

No, just obviously able to deal with normal everyday events without drama a bit better than others, obviously.

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:15

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:14

I must be a lot more chilled out than I thought I was!

If I said dinner was 5-6, and my guest arrived at 6.15pm, I'd say "hey! How are you, come in. What do you want to drink with your dinner? It's ready now". We'd then sit and have a great time.

I would be mortified if a host ate their dinner before I arrived as I was 10/15 minutes late. I'd think they were petty and rude and I'd make a mental note that they weren't my kind of people.

Why would you be up to an hour and 15 late?

Damn rude!

Cornishclio · 10/04/2023 18:15

If someone says lunch will be between 5 and 6 then I would turn up then. You were late so you were ruder.

44PumpLane · 10/04/2023 18:15

But it's not like this was a one off dinner from friends or a random work colleague where it's a rare event....this was your parents.

If they have form for this sort of thing it's up to you to nail down the time they want you to arrive.

Being late for dinner at your parents house if expect them to start without you rather than wait and end up with dry or overcooked food.

If my parents said "dinner 5-6ish" I'd be there for 5 and expect that dinner would be some time before 6.

Marsyas · 10/04/2023 18:16

I know it isn't the point, but am I the only one who thinks having lunch at 6 is weird? Isn't it dinner then, or tea at least?

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:17

nomoredriving · 10/04/2023 18:15

Why would you be up to an hour and 15 late?

Damn rude!

Show quote history

The parents said 5-6. Not 5pm.

They miscommunicated. If someone told me 5-6pm, that would make me think it was flexible and to come between 5 and 6. Arriving at 6.10 or so would make me 10 minutes late.

MereDintofPandiculation · 10/04/2023 18:17

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:10

And it's rude and antisocial to eat when your guests are 10 minutes late!

Show quote history

But if your guests haven't texted to say they'd be late, you don't know it's only going to be 10 minutes. They could have been an hour late.

Potplant19 · 10/04/2023 18:17

Marsyas · 10/04/2023 18:16

I know it isn't the point, but am I the only one who thinks having lunch at 6 is weird? Isn't it dinner then, or tea at least?

I'm glad someone else said this. When do you have dinner if lunch is 6pm?

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 18:17

RememberingGoodTimes · 10/04/2023 18:14

I must be a lot more chilled out than I thought I was!

If I said dinner was 5-6, and my guest arrived at 6.15pm, I'd say "hey! How are you, come in. What do you want to drink with your dinner? It's ready now". We'd then sit and have a great time.

I would be mortified if a host ate their dinner before I arrived as I was 10/15 minutes late. I'd think they were petty and rude and I'd make a mental note that they weren't my kind of people.

Arriving at 6.15pm would not make them ten to fifteen minutes late. Is this what's confusing you?

BellaJuno · 10/04/2023 18:18

easterbunnyz · 10/04/2023 17:59

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

Do they do this all the time because you do this all the time ie turn up after you’ve been advised the meal would be served? If they regularly eat without you because you turn up after the invited time, turn up when you’ve been asked to be there!

MaryMagda · 10/04/2023 18:18

If they do it all the time you must know they'd rather eat on the earlier side, and not after the time window they gave you. Just be there earlier next time. You were late this time.

MaryShelley1818 · 10/04/2023 18:18

If you knew dinner would be served between 5-6 then you should have arrived before 5, you were well over an hour late.
If I were them I'd be fuming.