To think it's rude not to wait for guests..?

[easterbunnyz]

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

Hmm....maybe one persons idea of passive aggression is another's idea of assertiveness

OP says they ALWAYS do this which implies they are continually late.

You were rude to be late, so both of you are rude

So you phoned them when you finished to explain?

Sorry, is English not your first language?

When the OP said “I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them” she is positing a hypothetical situation, not referring to this Easter meal.

For this actual meal, she wasn’t late because she was invited “around 5 - 6” and she arrived around 5 - 6, at ten past 6.

She did show up at the proper time, around 5 - 6.

I'm with the parents on this one. My initial response were I invited would to say 'see you at 5'. Probably then arrive before then.

Previous experience would tell me also that they like to eat at a particular time and not have to keep food warm whilst waiting.

I've never heard any one say arrive around five to six but if they did I'd take that to mean arrive any time after 5 but before 6

Oh, do stop. People have tried to explain it to you, stop embarrassing yourself.

Around 5-6 means to me that the host is aiming for just after 5 but depending on delays etc may be a little later as cooking for lots of extra people sometimes a takes a bit longer than you anticipate Therefore I would have taken it as 5pm. That way you are there and ready when dinner is ready to be served, can help with pre dinner bits etc.

If you were at work did you not let them know yesterday that your shift finished late so could they delay until just after 6 as that's the earliest you could get there?
How long did you have between the end of your shift and your arrival at their home? Enough to call and let them know I'm sure.
I hate late arrivals especially when I've timed the food to be perfectly served on time only for it to go cold and need reheating because the usual stragglers couldn't be bothered to let me know they'd be late(again!)

They didn’t ask her to turn up in that hour slot, they asked her to turn up around that hour slot. It is literally in the OP’s first post.

I'm English, I've got excellent comprehension, you sadly as a lot of payers have pointed out don't.

It's not a criticism, but you really need to be aware of it.

The OP had acknowledged she was late, it happens, she was working apparently.

But it's still rude.

You must love a very sheltered life to not know of the many workers who have to stay beyond their shift. Healthcare workers can't just walk out dead on time everytime. And the nature of their job means they can't call ahead.

You seem intent on the OP being a baddy.

A learning opportunity for all concerned, then - parents need to say “5.30” and OP needs to say “I’m at work till 6, can we make it 6.30?”

@MasterBeth

In general, it's very bad manners to start eating before your guests, especially when a loose arrangement has been made. Best would have been if you'd texted them to say when you were setting off. For family though, I think it's a bit more informal and if my mum and partner had started eating, I'd just sit down and join in, it wouldn't be about being offended/rudeness, we don't perceive that at the close family level and neither would anyone care if we were a bit late, I might text 'start without us'!

You are so right, however this is probably another of these god-awful dysfunctional Mumsnet families..
To me, meal to be ready between 5 and 6 means arrive before 5 and socialise before meal
appears probably after 5:30.It doesn’t mean arrive after six, sit down and eat then piss off to the pub or mate’s house to watch football.

I would take "around 5 - 6", to mean that I should arrive around as close to 5 as possible, and definitely no later than 6..

The thing about a proper home-cooked meal is that it can only delayed so long without being slightly spoilt. Parts of it will probably have been cooking well before the guests are expected to arrive.

Both sides were at fault though, the hosts for not stating a more specific arrival time, and the guests for not even managing to arrive within the huge one-hour window given and not letting the hosts know that they were running late.

.

I'd be much more embarrassed if I were you. You come across as the typical keyboard warrior. Bet you wouldn't say boo to a goose in real life. Sad really.

I was born into family that can't arrive on time. I've started asking them to be at mine an hour before they need to be. I planned to serve Xmas dinner at 2, asked them to be at mine at 1, then no-one had arrived by 2.15. So we started Xmas dinner. Why should I wait?

Then they would have said “between 5 & 6”. You’re pretending words have different meanings to the ones they do.

What time did you finish your shift op and how far away is it??

It's quite rude to turn up that close to when food is due to be served and not a while before for pleasantries and a catch up maybe

• can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them. AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?*

Read this again very slowly... @MasterBeth

OP is asking is it too much to expect them not to wait if she was late.... which she was! She's saying if the tables were turned, she would wait if they were late?

Do you know understand?

I'm not the one who's misunderstood but is insistently telling everyone else they're wrong 🤷🏻‍♀️

I must have poor comprehension as

1. I don’t know what a payer is in this context

2. I can’t see where the OP “acknowledges she is late”. Perhaps you can enlighten a poor soul like me.