To think it's rude not to wait for guests..?

[easterbunnyz]

My parents invited us for Easter lunch. They didn't really give an exact time said around 5-6. Admittedly we got there just after 6.. they had already started, and almost finished eating.
They do this all the time? I can't imagine inviting them and if they were late just start eating without them.
AIBU to think it's rude not to wait? Or is that me expecting too much?

@MasterBeth as @Aprilx says give over, you're embarrassing yourself!

I imagine they did it deliberately because they are fed up with you being late all the time.

My in laws have done this several times. I think it's really bloody rude and makes me want to just turn around and go home tbh.
We have two young children, as much as we try things happen and we might be a few minutes late. We let them know and they still dont wait, hate it. YANBU.

Pretty much the whole thread disagrees with you MasterBeth.

Around 5-6pm = anytime from 5pm, until 6pm.
Therefore OP was late.

Around 6pm = 6pm until about 6.15pm, OP wouldn’t be late if the invite had been given as this.

Or around 6-7pm, OP would have been on time.

You're clearly more than a few minutes late.

OP as far as I can see didn't let them know! Big difference!

They did not say between 5 & 6!

Seriously, what do people keep making stuff up.

I assume your mum meant that the food would be ready between 5:00pm and 6:00pm so you should arrive around 5pm so that you had arrived before the food. (I am guessing that she cooked something like a roast which may be difficult to time more precisely than say a steak.)

As you couldn't leave work on time, you should have texted a new ETA or told her that you'd prefer a later meal like 6:00pm-7:00pm

If I was your mum I would have text you when the food was ready because I was probably really hungry if lunch was so late.

👏 👏 exactly @MasterBeth

This.

I can't blame the parents for starting to eat after 6pm.

But making such vague and loose arrangements doesn't serve anyone well.

If OP had to work, I wonder why they didn't have an Easter lunch on Saturday, or some other time when people could actually commit. Or why OP's spouse and kids didn't go in the afternoon, with her arriving as and when.

Aim to arrive an hour earlier. Then if things happen you’re still early/on time.

No more rude than turning up late with no warning 🤷

In experience, I find people who expect others to wait are routinely late. How's your time keeping normally OP?

You were late and didn't let them know. You were rude.

Haven't you ever been invited to dinner in polite society, @MasterBeth ? 😂
You seem astonishingly clueless as to how things work.

Well you were late. Do you have form for being late? They probably didn’t want the dinner to spoil. No one wants mushy veg and burnt roasties. It’s also a bit rude to turn up and expect to sit down straight to dinner.

I would have started without you too, not waited until the food was cold and everyone else was starving. Don't be late if you want to eat with them. Sorry OP.

The point I was making was they probably didn't say around, they said between, but let's say they did...
OP - so what time is dinner Mum?
Mum - around 5 to 6

Now I feel most people would take that to mean any time from 5 to 6,which would mean I'd plan to arrive just after 5 with a buffet for holdups.

Now if the conversation was
Mum - what time do you think you'll get here
OH - around 5 or 6
Mum - OK love I'll do dinner for 630 then

Without a transcript it's difficult to establish but I still think the majority of people would take around 5 to 6 to mean between. Arguably technically it doesn't, so 6:10 is around 6 however people just don't speak like that...or I've not heard that. At best a friend might say what time are we meeting/are you coming round, and I'd say "about seven, seven thirty?". For a meal I would expect a half hour window max.
It does sound as if OP intended to be there earlier. I also think it'd very poor etiquette to arrive as dinner is being served.

U arrived late, they got bored of waiting, don’t blame them for yr rudeness.

Easter lunch is between 5 and 6????

You were bang out of order to be late and "they do this all the time" implies you do it all the time.

I would be mortified if a host ate their dinner before I arrived as I was 10/15 minutes late. I'd think they were petty and rude and I'd make a mental note that they weren't my kind of people

I think it's a bit different if the 'host' is your mother. I mean, it's not like they don't know each other pretty well. And if they 'do this all the time', it figures their daughter is pretty often late.

Of course if it was friends it would be pretty rude. But most people would ring ahead to say they were going to be late.

Anyone else thinking that 5/6 is an odd time to eat lunch?

If only there was an invention that enabled people to contact each other anywhere and anytime.

If I was invited for dinner around 5-6 I'd expect dinner is being served at some point between 5-6 and I need to be there and ready to eat, so arriving for 5pm at the latest. That dm would be aiming to 5pm but could be delayed depending on how long the meat takes. If I was arriving at 6.15 I'd be warning her well in advance. If they keep doing this then you obviously both have a massive communication problem.