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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants mum to go home

167 replies

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 10:28

Mum has come to stay for the week and to be quite honest I’m grateful for the help. As DH has spent the majority of the time napping and lying in bed.

me and mum have been on some lovely walks as well the kids and it’s been so nice.

Dh said it’s getting too much now and why can’t I drop her home a few days earlier?

AIBU to tell him to tell him to piss off? Last week I was struggling with all the kids at home. Now I’ve got the help I needed I’d be silly to send my mum home.

OP posts:
washinwashoutrepeat · 10/04/2023 10:31

Yup, tell him to piss off.

Or to get out of bed and participate.

washinwashoutrepeat · 10/04/2023 10:32

I wonder how he would feel if you behaved this way during his mum visiting?

JMSA · 10/04/2023 10:33

Cheeky bugger.

TheSoapyFrog · 10/04/2023 10:34

YANBU. Maybe if he pulled his finger out of his arsehole and did his fair share of parenting etc you wouldn't need to have your mother there for so long. I'd ignore him and carry on.

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 10/04/2023 10:35

Send him home to his own separate house. What an arse. Don’t put up with a useless man, OP!

AmandaHoldensLips · 10/04/2023 10:36

He wants your mum out of the way so that you can get on with meeting his needs and being the domestic servant without anyone witnessing his laziness.

BlueKaftan · 10/04/2023 10:38

Did you know he was this useless when you got married and had children?

Stillwearingskinnys · 10/04/2023 10:39

BlueKaftan · 10/04/2023 10:38

Did you know he was this useless when you got married and had children?

How very helpful….🙄

Brandyb · 10/04/2023 10:40

Does he normally nap and lie in bed, or is he enjoying a break as your mum is filling in? Or is he normally like this? Cos like either way it seems like he isn't in a position to dictate what your mum does (and if it's the second scenario, you have a bigger problem).

My dh (and I tbh) do sometimes coast a bit when my mum or dad visit as they help so much. But then why complain? 🤔

custardbear · 10/04/2023 10:46

Tell him you'll go to your mums to catch up on your sleep and he has charge of the kids!

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 10/04/2023 10:48

Tell him sure you'll leave him with the kids for a few days and go spend a few days with your mum 1:1!

What a cf!

TheCentreSlide · 10/04/2023 10:50

Be very clear with him.

I am not sending mum home early. She is helping and contributing to family life and supporting me. You are just lazing around doing nothing. It’s lovely for me to have another adult here helping out. You should be doing more. Can you not see that? You lazy selfish bastard

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 10/04/2023 10:50

Tell him exactly what you’ve said here.

“No, I need and appreciate the help she’s giving me and that you fail to provide while you’re lying in bed”

What a useless lump of a man.

Nanny0gg · 10/04/2023 10:50

Feel a bit sorry for your mum as it's clearly not a holiday!

However, suggest to your partner that your mum stays and he goes

jetadore · 10/04/2023 10:51

JMSA · 10/04/2023 10:33

Cheeky bugger.

That’s putting it mildly

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 10/04/2023 10:51

If my MIL was staying in my house I would spend most of the time in bed as I can’t stand her. Maybe OPs husband feels the same way and would be able to participate without her in his space?

Goldbar · 10/04/2023 10:53

Bananasinpjamas4567 · 10/04/2023 10:51

If my MIL was staying in my house I would spend most of the time in bed as I can’t stand her. Maybe OPs husband feels the same way and would be able to participate without her in his space?

Didn't he have a chance to step up last week when the OP was struggling but chose not to?

Slimjimtobe · 10/04/2023 10:53

I wouldn’t like MIL here all weekend but if he’s not doing anything then that’s totally different

TomatoSandwiches · 10/04/2023 10:54

Normally I would say you need to be mindful of how your spouse feels about their space and your parents/family encroaching on it, however if your mum is helping you out because he has decided to check out then he has no right to complain.
I do hope you get your mum a nice gift for helping out in her holidays as well though, doesn't sound very relaxing.

WaltzingWaters · 10/04/2023 10:56

Tell him if it’s too much you and your mum will go back to hers to have some time together, and he can have the kids to have some quality time with them.
What a dick. When he can stop being a lazy for and help parent, he might get more of a say.

Curseofthenation · 10/04/2023 10:57

Nah, he can jog on. If he can't be arsed to be an active parent then he loses his right to an opinion on the matter of your mum. He looks after his needs first, you should look after yours by insisting your mum stays.

I'm sure he's probably embarrassed that his MIL is seeing him for the lousy parent he is.

coffeecupsandwaxmelts · 10/04/2023 10:57

I don't know - I wouldn't want my MIL staying with me for a week - or my mum for that matter.

Is he sleeping and napping to avoid his MIL or to avoid family life in general?

Mummynew08 · 10/04/2023 11:08

Dh said it’s getting too much now

Need more info here - have DH and MIL had disagreements?

Original poster
Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 11:47

@Mummynew08 no they get on really well!

His issue is that he can’t relax on the evening because she stays up to 11 and that’s “his quiet time”

OP posts:
TomatoSandwiches · 10/04/2023 12:01

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 11:47

@Mummynew08 no they get on really well!

His issue is that he can’t relax on the evening because she stays up to 11 and that’s “his quiet time”

Sounds like all his time is quality time.

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