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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH wants mum to go home

167 replies

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 10:28

Mum has come to stay for the week and to be quite honest I’m grateful for the help. As DH has spent the majority of the time napping and lying in bed.

me and mum have been on some lovely walks as well the kids and it’s been so nice.

Dh said it’s getting too much now and why can’t I drop her home a few days earlier?

AIBU to tell him to tell him to piss off? Last week I was struggling with all the kids at home. Now I’ve got the help I needed I’d be silly to send my mum home.

OP posts:
JudgeRudy · 10/04/2023 17:42

KettrickenSmiled · 10/04/2023 17:23

Youve the summer holidays coming up soon. You need to think about how you're going to be able to manage childcare. Holiday clubs or maybe have you mum over, but for 1 night only.

These children have two parents @JudgeRudy
Why do you think it's solely OP's responsibility to plan childcare?

I don't. You can be plural...or I could go for a Scottish yous

KettrickenSmiled · 11/04/2023 11:33

or I could go for a Scottish yous 😂Fair point @JudgeRudy

Brokeandold · 11/04/2023 18:07

My lovely Mum died suddenly aged 75, I had our 2 DS age 6 and 4 and she was such a wonderful support , they adored her, so you spend as much time as you can with your mum 🤗
you ignore your man child, time is precious

Madamum18 · 11/04/2023 18:22

Ask him when you are supposed to have quiet time! Tell him to get off his a* and look after, amuse the kids. Tell him you want time with your mum! Tell him he is being thoughtless and selfish..he's a father...so get over it and do the job of fatherhood

Any or all of the above!

Missingpop · 11/04/2023 18:42

Tell the lazy Fucker to get his lazy arse out of bed to care for his children otherwise Dmil is staying another month 😂😂😂

Elle2018 · 11/04/2023 18:55

WaltzingWaters · 10/04/2023 10:56

Tell him if it’s too much you and your mum will go back to hers to have some time together, and he can have the kids to have some quality time with them.
What a dick. When he can stop being a lazy for and help parent, he might get more of a say.

This! 10 times over

Wexone · 11/04/2023 19:46

agree with people we have not got the full picture of the ops relationship with husband. what is he like normally? i wouldn't allow my mother to stay for a week in my house. my mother is quite controlling yes she helps sometimes but she is quite intense and has a tendency to take over. a few hours in my house is all I can tolerate if her. my own mother in law is lovely but sorry a week with her would be torture. I need my own space. to the people saying 11pm.is not late it is in my house. we are in bed around 9 most evenings as we up early for work.etc. so I am sorry am on the fence here until you give us more info. but unless it was absolutely necessary a week for both mothers wouldn't be allowed in our house.

Britinme · 11/04/2023 21:10

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 11:47

@Mummynew08 no they get on really well!

His issue is that he can’t relax on the evening because she stays up to 11 and that’s “his quiet time”

My heart strangely fails to bleed for him.

escapingthecity · 11/04/2023 21:17

I would find it a lot if my MIL came to stay for a stretch and DH and I got no time together in the evenings because she was always around. How long has she been with you so far? How much longer is she due to be with you? Is it possible that your DH is napping as an excuse to get away from her?

Justbefair · 11/04/2023 22:21

Cherish your parents and see them as much as you can, doesn't he feel the same about his own? He's being unfair, tell him to do one! X

T1Dmama · 12/04/2023 01:30

Tell him you’ll take her home and stay with her for a week ….. leaving him with the kids alone obviously… it’s his turn anyway tell him!

Petlover9 · 12/04/2023 07:40

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 11:47

@Mummynew08 no they get on really well!

His issue is that he can’t relax on the evening because she stays up to 11 and that’s “his quiet time”

Poor lamb. So he naps all day and goes to bed early - put him out with the bins, useless cf

Ilovecleaning · 12/04/2023 08:31

Mrshermit · 10/04/2023 11:47

@Mummynew08 no they get on really well!

His issue is that he can’t relax on the evening because she stays up to 11 and that’s “his quiet time”

You and your mum should eat out a couple of evenings, leaving husband to his “quiet time” while the kids are in bed.

hardboiledeggs · 12/04/2023 09:31

He likely doesn't want her to keep seeing how much of a lazy so and so he is!

ellyeth · 13/04/2023 23:28

How nice that your Mum has been such a help. She sounds lovely. As opposed to your husband, who sounds selfish - and perhaps a bit jealous?

Stewball01 · 15/04/2023 10:13

After I had my 2 children, my mother came over for 2 months each time. No problems.

LBFseBrom · 15/04/2023 10:32

Two months? That is one heck of a long time.

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