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Original poster

Furious (again) at sister... how to raise this with DD

684 replies

Yellobird · 09/04/2023 19:39

Met up with my sister today, along with my DC. We don't see eye to eye and have taken very different paths, but my children like her so I go along with it.

DSis has no children. She was having a completely inappropriate conversation with DD about the gender pay gap and its because women can't go part time (in her job)- DD is 9!!! DD asked if that's why she doesn't have children. Sis went on to say that it's part of the reason, but mainly she likes her free time. Now bearing in mind DD thinks she's brilliant and hangs off her every word. Sis went on to say 'imagine if mum and dad wanted to go out tonight, on the spur of the moment. And then check out a new bar or comedy club. We'll they can't because they need to be at home with you and your brothers'

As if DH and I would even want to do that!!! Anyway, DH is doing bath time and I've said I'll go sit with her in bed and talk it through. DH says it's best to leave her so she doesn't dwell and get upset.

WWYD? Utterly furious that Sis has put us in this position after what should have been a nice family day.

OP posts:
GreenSunfish · 12/04/2023 15:51

TheEarlofButties · 09/04/2023 19:47

9yo girl learns that parenting is hard and women are disadvantaged from aunt who has meaningful conversation with her?! i’d be in there backing up what she said tbh

This 👆

Stripedbag101 · 12/04/2023 15:58

Tallulah1972 · 12/04/2023 13:55

Your DSis has made it sound like your children are a burden. To her, it was a throw away comment without consequences. You say your Dd is a thinker, mine is too, & I would definitely be having a chat with her to let her know that her aunt is an arse & that your children are the best thing that’s ever happened & you wouldn’t want it any other way 💞

Why is the aunt an arse?

children are hard. Not everyone should have, not everyone can have them and not everyone wants them.

I am sure a nine year old knows her mum and dad can’t nip out together without getting a baby sitter. I am also sure a non year old has picked up that women arent as valued i society as men and pay can often reflect this (there was omens rights in Mary Poppins).

my nephew frequently tells me the only reason I have such a nice lifestyle is I do t have to support kids!!! He has been saying g it since he was in primary school! Finds it hilarious.

ReadersD1gest · 12/04/2023 16:00

Tallulah1972 · 12/04/2023 13:55

Your DSis has made it sound like your children are a burden. To her, it was a throw away comment without consequences. You say your Dd is a thinker, mine is too, & I would definitely be having a chat with her to let her know that her aunt is an arse & that your children are the best thing that’s ever happened & you wouldn’t want it any other way 💞

🤣
I hope your daughter is a better thinker than you are.

BigFatLiar · 12/04/2023 16:01

Yep tell dd children are inconvenient and should be avoided if you want to have fun. Say her brothers can have a family and she can be the aunty. Better being the aunty's who comes in and has fun then buggers off. Seems like Disney aunties exist.

Stripedbag101 · 12/04/2023 16:07

….. and I am sure OP has repeatedly told her daughter that she loves her and enjoys spending time with her. She describes this nine year old as intelligent and sensitive. I know nine year olds understand different people choose different paths!

And just because her aunt enjoys the freedom of being child free, and just because getting a babysitter can be a pain the arse, it doesn’t mean her mum and dad regret having her!

jesus wept. why are some people so hell bent in ensuring their children are only exposed to one view point.

coeurnoir · 12/04/2023 18:16

BigFatLiar · 12/04/2023 16:01

Yep tell dd children are inconvenient and should be avoided if you want to have fun. Say her brothers can have a family and she can be the aunty. Better being the aunty's who comes in and has fun then buggers off. Seems like Disney aunties exist.

Or maybe she grows up knowing that she has choices and that children aren't the default 🤷‍♀️

LuckySantangelo35 · 12/04/2023 18:18

BigFatLiar · 12/04/2023 16:01

Yep tell dd children are inconvenient and should be avoided if you want to have fun. Say her brothers can have a family and she can be the aunty. Better being the aunty's who comes in and has fun then buggers off. Seems like Disney aunties exist.

@BigFatLiar

what on earth are you on about??

Stripedbag101 · 12/04/2023 18:54

BigFatLiar · 12/04/2023 16:01

Yep tell dd children are inconvenient and should be avoided if you want to have fun. Say her brothers can have a family and she can be the aunty. Better being the aunty's who comes in and has fun then buggers off. Seems like Disney aunties exist.

This is really odd. You know aunts don’t have parental responsibility don’t you?

i understand Disney dads as an insult - but surely aunts are supposed to pop in for fun, a bit of rule breaking, too much sweets, funny/ embarrassing-stories about the parents etc etc. a bit of different life experience. My nieces and nephews love hearing about my travels - they trqck
my phone when I am on business trips and
follow me around New York and London and Paris! Total Disney aunt and proud of it.

I thinks it’s amazing that children see there are different choices out there. I am the single, career aunt. There are married no kids aunts, working mum aunts, cross bossy aunts, young wild aunts, scary business lady aunts. It’s great to see women in lots of different roles.

ellyeth · 13/04/2023 23:24

It sounds like there's a bit more going on here than just your sister's remarks. I can't imagine otherwise how you are so annoyed with her. Is it possibly because you feel she is undermining you role as a mother?

I actually think it is quite healthy to talk to children about these sorts of issues. If your children pick up your interpretation of your sister's comments re having children, they may feel insecure but otherwise I don't feel it should affect them.

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