dd is 18 she finished college last year and is taking some time to decide what she wants to do, etc. since august she’s worked at a well known supermarket, earning just a bit above minimum wage and about 30 hours a week. her employer gave her a staff discount card for a family member as well as herself which was saving me quite a bit on the shopping. I still charged her £50 a month which I think is reasonable, considering she has been earning around 800 a month. She has more disposable cash than me.
well last week she’s decided to quit her job, she had a falling out with her manager and quit on the spot, she says she hated it there etc etc. tbf it was a stressful environment but she seemed to be doing okay there until recently.
so she’s quit her job, she has got a new job lined up, she’s going to work with her boyfriend at a fast food restaurant, her boyfriend has gotten her the job and she starts next week. she’s actually going to be earning less there than she was before, and tbh I think the main reason she quit was because she wanted to work with her bf. I think it’s a bad idea but she’s an adult she can do what she wants.
I’ve said to her since bills are going up and I won’t have access to the discount anymore I want her to contribute more- I’m asking for £75 a month instead of 50. Which is actually less than I would have saved with the discount etc etc. but even still, she’ll be earning upwards of 500 a month, I get she needs to save but I feel like what I’m asking isn’t unreasonable.
she’s lashed out at me and said that it’s not fair because she’s earning less why should she have to pay more, and that I’m being mean and horrible basically. when she got the job at the supermarket I said that her staff discount would count towards her contribution, but she’s saying that I’m penalising her for switching jobs🤷♀️
AIBU?
to ask dd to contribute more to the bills?
namenamename12 · 09/04/2023 17:30
Am I being unreasonable?
473 votes. Final results.
POLLx2boys · 12/04/2023 15:42
I don't think councils have the time or the resources to play silly little games, to reach someone a lesson!
Serrina · 12/04/2023 15:20
March her down to the council offices with a letter from you saying that you are evicting her and ask the council to find some accommodation for her as she refuses to pay for her own upkeep and you cannot afford to keep her there anymore. After a week in some grotty hostel and paying more for that than what you're charging her, she'll be begging to come home and will be more than willing to pay what you're asking for.
namenamename12 · 09/04/2023 17:30
dd is 18 she finished college last year and is taking some time to decide what she wants to do, etc. since august she’s worked at a well known supermarket, earning just a bit above minimum wage and about 30 hours a week. her employer gave her a staff discount card for a family member as well as herself which was saving me quite a bit on the shopping. I still charged her £50 a month which I think is reasonable, considering she has been earning around 800 a month. She has more disposable cash than me.
well last week she’s decided to quit her job, she had a falling out with her manager and quit on the spot, she says she hated it there etc etc. tbf it was a stressful environment but she seemed to be doing okay there until recently.
so she’s quit her job, she has got a new job lined up, she’s going to work with her boyfriend at a fast food restaurant, her boyfriend has gotten her the job and she starts next week. she’s actually going to be earning less there than she was before, and tbh I think the main reason she quit was because she wanted to work with her bf. I think it’s a bad idea but she’s an adult she can do what she wants.
I’ve said to her since bills are going up and I won’t have access to the discount anymore I want her to contribute more- I’m asking for £75 a month instead of 50. Which is actually less than I would have saved with the discount etc etc. but even still, she’ll be earning upwards of 500 a month, I get she needs to save but I feel like what I’m asking isn’t unreasonable.
she’s lashed out at me and said that it’s not fair because she’s earning less why should she have to pay more, and that I’m being mean and horrible basically. when she got the job at the supermarket I said that her staff discount would count towards her contribution, but she’s saying that I’m penalising her for switching jobs🤷♀️
Serrina · 12/04/2023 19:07
It's not playing silly games, if the OP is unable to have her living at home because she won't pay her way, then the council have a duty to provide accommodation for her. They won't be able to just hand her the keys to her own flat but they will put her up in a youth hostel. Trust me the daughter will soon realise she's got it made.
x2boys · 12/04/2023 15:42
I don't think councils have the time or the resources to play silly little games, to reach someone a lesson!
Serrina · 12/04/2023 15:20
March her down to the council offices with a letter from you saying that you are evicting her and ask the council to find some accommodation for her as she refuses to pay for her own upkeep and you cannot afford to keep her there anymore. After a week in some grotty hostel and paying more for that than what you're charging her, she'll be begging to come home and will be more than willing to pay what you're asking for.
namenamename12 · 09/04/2023 17:30
dd is 18 she finished college last year and is taking some time to decide what she wants to do, etc. since august she’s worked at a well known supermarket, earning just a bit above minimum wage and about 30 hours a week. her employer gave her a staff discount card for a family member as well as herself which was saving me quite a bit on the shopping. I still charged her £50 a month which I think is reasonable, considering she has been earning around 800 a month. She has more disposable cash than me.
well last week she’s decided to quit her job, she had a falling out with her manager and quit on the spot, she says she hated it there etc etc. tbf it was a stressful environment but she seemed to be doing okay there until recently.
so she’s quit her job, she has got a new job lined up, she’s going to work with her boyfriend at a fast food restaurant, her boyfriend has gotten her the job and she starts next week. she’s actually going to be earning less there than she was before, and tbh I think the main reason she quit was because she wanted to work with her bf. I think it’s a bad idea but she’s an adult she can do what she wants.
I’ve said to her since bills are going up and I won’t have access to the discount anymore I want her to contribute more- I’m asking for £75 a month instead of 50. Which is actually less than I would have saved with the discount etc etc. but even still, she’ll be earning upwards of 500 a month, I get she needs to save but I feel like what I’m asking isn’t unreasonable.
she’s lashed out at me and said that it’s not fair because she’s earning less why should she have to pay more, and that I’m being mean and horrible basically. when she got the job at the supermarket I said that her staff discount would count towards her contribution, but she’s saying that I’m penalising her for switching jobs🤷♀️
Phoebo · 12/04/2023 20:41
This. She's only 18! Instead get her to focus on doing something to get into a proper career
hcarter8 · 09/04/2023 17:41
I'll never understand parents who make their children pay rent, whatever age they are it just seems odd to me. You should never charge your child for something a parent should do for free
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