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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

244 replies

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

OP posts:
Lovely13 · 10/04/2023 21:03

I’ve never understood why men don’t sit down to pee in a house toilet. It’s not a urinal and they do miss the bowl. My ex’s aim in the night was abysmal 🥹

MeridianB · 10/04/2023 21:08

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:48

That is filthy.

Tell their dad to do it. It may shame them into cleaning up after themselves.

Or don't let them stay with you.

Show quote history

Yes, I’d be asking their dad to speak to them and ask them to clean up every single time until one or all of them was too embarrassed to let it continue.

SnozPoz · 10/04/2023 21:19

Get his dad to get his eyes checked... and to have a discussion with his mum about whether this is a problem at her home. If you have more than one toilet I'd tell him just to use one of them and never clean it. He'll soon stop his dirty protest, if that's what he has to sit in it. But if it is a dirty protest you need to not react at all. Because he'd only be doing it to wind you up

BaconChops · 10/04/2023 21:55

Bit concerned about the amount of aggression on here. He’s 14 granted but I’m presuming you’re an adult? Try talking to him, might just make your relationship stronger…..

LaDamaDeElche · 10/04/2023 22:36

I'm surprised at some of the posts on here. Yeah it's gross, but a dirty protest etc, probably not. Just a gross slobby teen. The same teens who leave dirty dishes out, don't shower well and have stinky feet etc. I think people are looking at this with an adult mindset. He's 14, not 20. Don't say anything in front of his friends and get his dad to sort it out.

Wantosleep39 · 10/04/2023 22:51

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:52

DH will either tell him to do it himself or do it but it's not even just that. It annoys me that he's still doing it at all. Just look where it's fucking going for goodness sake! I'm minded to say he needs to start sitting down to go if he can't use the toilet without it going all over the place.

My son and my husband are sitting down at home. Even a small splash smells.

Somersetgirl1 · 10/04/2023 23:45

NettleTea · 09/04/2023 15:24

my ex did it. we lived in a shared house and others mentioned it. he would deny til blue in the face, but it had never happened before he lived there. Im pretty sure it was deliberate

I had the same, my ex husband would blame everyone - me, pets and my mum!!!! It was worse than a fucking un-neutered tom cat!!!! I ended up wiping it once with kitchen role and rubbing his fucking nose in it. Not suggesting this is done re 14 yr old (ex was in his 40's) but I was fucking livid about being treated as a skivvy and expected to clean up deliberate vile mess

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 11/04/2023 00:46

QueenSmartypants · 09/04/2023 15:00

Don't humiliate him in front of his friends, but definitely pull him out* and into the bathroom, tell him how unacceptable it is and give him the wherewithal to clean it up.

*not physically, obviously

This

StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar · 11/04/2023 00:49

Just tell him.

StepAwayFromTheBiscuitJar · 11/04/2023 00:49

He's probably scrambling to the loo between games and not really paying attention (you can't pause online games).

BaconChops · 11/04/2023 01:43

LaDamaDeElche · 10/04/2023 22:36

I'm surprised at some of the posts on here. Yeah it's gross, but a dirty protest etc, probably not. Just a gross slobby teen. The same teens who leave dirty dishes out, don't shower well and have stinky feet etc. I think people are looking at this with an adult mindset. He's 14, not 20. Don't say anything in front of his friends and get his dad to sort it out.

Completely agree.

BaconChops · 11/04/2023 01:53

Wantosleep39 · 10/04/2023 22:51

My son and my husband are sitting down at home. Even a small splash smells.

Show quote history

With all due respect do you have an issue with the fact your husband has a child with someone else? You seem so angry?! He’s 14 ffs and a boy! Clearly you’ve not been around teenagers before. They barely wash, shower etc…give him a break, if you had kids you’d probably understand the different phases instead of trying to make him feel stupid. Teenagers go through puberty which means changes’. I feel you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Give the kid a break and wind your neck in.

ChiefWiggumsBoy · 11/04/2023 02:22

I have three sons of my own and a now grown up DSS. Oh, and a husband but I trust he doesn't do this.

As I can never be sure which of them was being a dirty bastard, I'd yell them all to come to the toilet and make one of them do it. I don't care who, but whoever it is better be willing to take the flack from his brothers if he doesn't clean it up. More than once I've sat in someone else's piss first thing in the morning or late at night, and tbqh I don't think it's fair at all.

I would embarrass him on the PS. If he's ok with you sitting in piss then he'll be ok with being called out in public about it. And if not, then a good lesson to learn.

Spenser05 · 11/04/2023 02:36

My son sometimes did this buy he was a lot younger. A year before he'd had an accident at school. I was told to come and get him as he was bleeding from "his bits" got him home took him to A and e as his bits were black. Told it will be OK and given calpol. A year later on holiday we noticed when he went the toilet it blew up like a balloon. It all made sense. On return straight to Dr's and hè had to be circumcised the accident had caused scarring. It may be worth checking that out Does he do it else where or just your home.

Harmonypus · 11/04/2023 03:20

I'd speak to his mother to see whether he does this at her house. If he does, and she let's him get away with it, then you'll see why he thinks he can do it at your house. If he doesn't, then he's just being totally disrespectful of your home and he needs disciplining in some way, as well as making him clean up after himself.

HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 05:40

@BaconChops you have very low standards.

Ukrainebaby23 · 11/04/2023 06:19

I think I would say this to him, not in front of his mates obvs.
Maybe ask him if he needs glasses or something if he can't see where it's going.

Equalitea · 11/04/2023 06:39

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:48

That is filthy.

Tell their dad to do it. It may shame them into cleaning up after themselves.

Or don't let them stay with you.

Show quote history

Agree at 22 and 19!

jannier · 11/04/2023 09:32

BaconChops · 11/04/2023 01:53

With all due respect do you have an issue with the fact your husband has a child with someone else? You seem so angry?! He’s 14 ffs and a boy! Clearly you’ve not been around teenagers before. They barely wash, shower etc…give him a break, if you had kids you’d probably understand the different phases instead of trying to make him feel stupid. Teenagers go through puberty which means changes’. I feel you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. Give the kid a break and wind your neck in.

Show quote history

Had children and worked with them.....piss on floor and toilet seat is not acceptable even a 3 year old can look and wipe. If a 14 year old is going it he will be doing if for life

JackiePlace · 11/04/2023 09:36

The next time it happens do not clean up, but call the culprit into the toilet and show him what he's done. Then you supervise while he cleans up to your standard.

If it then happens again, tell him he either needs to sit down or you or your husband will supervise the next time he pisses to show him how to do it correctly.

mustgetoffmn · 11/04/2023 09:39

That sounds like something behavioural. Do you feel you get on OK otherwise? It sounds like resentful rebellion. My Ss chopped up one of my chairs and burnt on fire eg. He was about that age. I wouldn’t escalate but just quietly hand him cleaning products every time and ask DH to talk to him.in more depth. Try to keep all calm.

Pharoh · 11/04/2023 09:41

id absolutely shame him in front of his friends

Passthechocolatesplease · 11/04/2023 09:55

THisbackwithavengeance · 09/04/2023 15:27

You're overreacting. I'm sure you wouldn't go off your dinger like this if it were your own DS.

Just go in and tell him to go and clean the toilet behind him. No need for any drama.

I agree, just make him clean it up, he’ll soon learn, no need for shaming him in front of his mates.

MyFaceIsAnAONB · 11/04/2023 11:03

He should be ashamed really. Shame feels the way it does for a reason. It’s a useful feeling.

mustgetoffmn · 11/04/2023 11:51

DrMarciaFieldstone · 09/04/2023 15:18

That was my thought too. I recognise this behaviour.

Show quote history

Yes obviously so. The aim is partly to get attention so ramping this up is the wrong thing to do. DH needs a proper talk with him which tries to uncover what’s going on. What is happening with mother is she around?

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