Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

244 replies

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

OP posts:
Exhibity · 09/04/2023 15:20

SpacePotato · 09/04/2023 14:58

He's doing it on purpose.

That's what I think, he knows exactly what he's doing.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 09/04/2023 15:20

If ever there was a justification to lose your shit, this is it, @LicensedToLoseMyShit. Maybe if you do embarrass him in front of his friends, he will not do it again.

UndercoverCop · 09/04/2023 15:21

My four year old dripped on the toilet room earlier (seat up), without prompting he said oops sorry and got some tissue and wiped it, then washed his hands (I gave it a spray after I don't let him touch the cleaning spray). He's 4! This is disgusting from a 14 year old

LulooLemon · 09/04/2023 15:21

I had this some years ago. Just call him out on it every time single time.

And maybe notice and quietly thank him when (if!) he uses the toilet and manages not to pee everywhere.

UndercoverCop · 09/04/2023 15:22

*rim

NettleTea · 09/04/2023 15:24

my ex did it. we lived in a shared house and others mentioned it. he would deny til blue in the face, but it had never happened before he lived there. Im pretty sure it was deliberate

furryfrontbottom · 09/04/2023 15:24

Does he do that at his other home?

THisbackwithavengeance · 09/04/2023 15:27

You're overreacting. I'm sure you wouldn't go off your dinger like this if it were your own DS.

Just go in and tell him to go and clean the toilet behind him. No need for any drama.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/04/2023 15:28

Gosh that’s grim. I wish you success at challenging your dss. Unless he’s dyspraxic or something, I also think there’s an element of doing this on purpose at 14.

aloris · 09/04/2023 15:29

Ok I know this is going to sound strange but your DH should question his son about why this is happening, and then take him to a doctor. There is a condition that happens to boys sometimes where, how do I put this politely, the opening is not quite right. The flow of urine cannot be controlled because the geometry of the opening is wrong. Signs of this could be things like, the direction of flow changing during urination, the flow splitting into two streams, stopping and starting, dripping, etc. If this is the root of the problem, it is impossible for the person to control the direction of flow. It is easily fixable with a very simple outpatient surgery and, if this is the cause of the problem, will make everyone's life infinitely happier including the child. So I would say, get your husband to look into that.

In the meantime, yes, stepson should be cleaning up his mess, because respect for others is important and your DH should be teaching his child that women are not there simply to clean up after you. So even if this is from a medical problem, it is stepson's job to manage it (with help from DH, his dad), not the job of whatever woman is in closest vicinity.

It is entirely possible that if you raise this as a possible medical issue, your dh will scoff at it (and I am totally not saying my dh did the same although he totally did). If he does, that is when I would go nuclear. He should at least have him seen by a pediatric urologist before ruling out a structural issue that (did I mention?), is very easily fixable with a 5 minute outpatient procedure.

BignBootiful · 09/04/2023 15:30

THisbackwithavengeance · 09/04/2023 15:27

You're overreacting. I'm sure you wouldn't go off your dinger like this if it were your own DS.

Just go in and tell him to go and clean the toilet behind him. No need for any drama.

I am pretty sure she would “go off her dinger” with her ds if she is as fastidious as she sounds. And good for her. Some people like to keep a clean house, you know.

Floofydawg · 09/04/2023 15:31

I really don't think OP is over reacting. Absolutely make him clean it up, and don't wait til he's off the phone with his friends to go in and tell him. Make it an inconvenience for him.

My DSS didn't used to flush, left shit all over the toilet. He was made to clean it up every time no matter what he was in the middle of doing. He does it without being asked now but he once came downstairs and said to me (not his dad, who was right next to me) 'you might want to go and clean the toilet, it's a bit messy.' Needless to say, I told him I don't clean other people's shit up.

Eggseggseverywhere · 09/04/2023 15:35

Ask him what design he wants on his pull ups as he clearly isn't toilet trained

2bazookas · 09/04/2023 15:37

Get him on his own, take him to the bathroom, show him the mess and tell him, calmly and gently, this is not acceptable. Adult males aim to not miss or splash. IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, if you miss and splash you clean it up right away. Every time. While you're at it please clean the basin and taps too. Here is the cloth, and the cleaner; wash the cloth after and put it <here>. Over to you.

Then you leave him to it. If he leaves a mess again, you send him to clean the bathroom right away. You tell DH to do the same, and back you up.

This is how my sons all learned A) to aim well and not miss and B) to be very good at cleaning bathrooms.

Pushmepullu · 09/04/2023 15:37

Agree with aloris. Tonight over dinner with the three of you there tell your SS how concerned you are that there may be something wrong with his willy as his pee is going everywhere other than the bowl. He and your DH will both be embarrassed and one of them will have to do something about it!

TroysMammy · 09/04/2023 15:39

I'm not minimising as it's disgusting and he should be wiping up his own piss no matter what. Has he always sprayed and could he have an abnormal urethra? Perhaps his Dad needs to take him to the GP to rule it out.

Viviennemary · 09/04/2023 15:40

I agreeit's a protest. Sounds like you don't like each other. It's a problem.

Darkernights · 09/04/2023 15:41

If he doesn’t do this at his mum’s then this is a deliberate protest. His Dad needs to speak to him about this. The root issue needs addressed.

In the meantime he needs to know this is not acceptable and he will have to clean it himself each and every time.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 09/04/2023 15:41

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

Why won't you?
Why can't he be made to clean up his own piss?

Mendholeai · 09/04/2023 15:41

Make him wash it. Don’t ho nuclear, stay calm.

BelindaBears · 09/04/2023 15:43

Is he doing it on purpose to get a rise out of you / cause a big family argument? Because if so, “going nuclear” will provide exactly the drama he wants. I’d expect my DH to sort this problem out firmly with him.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 15:44

Every time he does it, grab your cleaning stuff, shove it in his hands and frogmarch him to the bog. Every. Time.

Emotionalsupportviper · 09/04/2023 15:46

Agree with others.

He cleans it up himself, and if he can't aim at something as big as a toilet bowl he should sit down to pee like a toddler.

I suspect that he's doing this deliberately for some reason - testing boundaries, or he doesn't like you, or he's just resentful at life in general. No way should this be happening if he doesn't have a disability which makes toiletting difficult.

GrumpyPanda · 09/04/2023 15:48

Frankly don't get why you don't have a sitting-down rule in your household. Signs up for family and visitors. Worst case, reinforce with splashback paint.

Pattydale · 09/04/2023 15:48

My DSs does this and I have and will lose my shit again if needed. It's utterly vile and disrespectful

Swipe left for the next trending thread