Page 8 | AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 2023-04-09T13:46:29+00:00

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc.. I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out. I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?! I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to). Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

MeridianB · 10/04/2023 16:03

What happened @LicensedToLoseMyShit ?

Isinglass20 · 10/04/2023 18:12

Walk into his room with cleaning stuff and rag and say Oi you clean it up NOW . I wouldn’t pussyfoot round. This is disgusting.

Mumwomansisterdaughter · 10/04/2023 18:14

You are making a big issue over something small . Call him and ask him to clean it , give him spray and wipes or a cloth . He will be more careful in future I’m sure .

sgtmajormum · 10/04/2023 18:17

Two tween/teen boys here in my house. Hard to tell which one is worse, but EVERY TIME I find p*ss all over the place I drag them in to the bathroom, hand over cleaning items and shut the door. Whoever was responsible then cleans up. Do it every time until they got the message and learnt to aim better or clean up without me dragging them back in.
Unfortunately some need to have boundaries spelled out to them as they are selfish thoughtless wotsits 😁😡🤯

Maray1967 · 10/04/2023 18:21

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:49

I will, I know DH has plenty of times before. I'd like to say it so loud his friends hear and he's embarrassed as talking to him about it hasn't seemed to work at all but I won't do that.

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Why not? I have a 15 year old and that is exactly what I would do - nice and loud while he’s gaming with his mates.

But - I would only do that if I had already spoken calmly to him and warned him that I would not tolerate it and the next time I saw it I would be shouting about it at full volume irrespective of who’s listening.

Give him one warning and then go ballistic.

Maray1967 · 10/04/2023 18:22

And then make him clean it up.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:31

AngelinaFibres · 09/04/2023 18:11

My eldest son made it very clear how little respect he had for his father's wife. My youngest son was much quieter. He used to deliberately do a very large, smelly poo in their downstairs toilet just before their father brought them home. He would leave the door open do the smell filled the whole house. A parting gift for her to enjoy after he'd gone. They didn't tell me anything about ut until they were adults. My exhusband had never said anything. OP he is absolutely doing it on purpose

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He was lucky he was allowed back into the house. I would have made his dad drag him back in and check and clean the toilet after the second time (1st time - maybe an accident; 2nd time - deliberate).

I've just asked DP about this. He had the problem of spraying as a 15 yr old, and it is called meteal stenosis. Its a thing, and he had to be circumcised.

Doesn't stop the mucky little bugger cleaning it up though.

MibsXX · 10/04/2023 18:41

I feel your pain,. I have two stepdaughters do same , even leave blood everywhere when its their monthlies, any mention causes total meltdown and histrionics.. ones 22 ones 19 been same fr 4 years and yeah its totally unpleasant to have to deal with

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:46

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 22:37

Well yep, I wish I’d done that. I just don’t understand the whole stand up to pee when it’s an actual toilet. But I believed what I’d been told that men find it uncomfortable/unpleasant to pee sitting down …I still don’t know if that’s true or just lazy bullshit

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I'm pretty sure it's cultural - there are some cultures where the men squat to urinate. I'm sure I read about an African people where the men squatted to pee.

In ancient Egypt women stood and men squatted. In fact until a couple of hundred years ago most women stood to pee in Europe as well (but I think the men did, too). Female undergarments are a comparatively new innovation - women just stopped walking, pee'd and then continued what they were doing.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:47

*recent innovation, not new.

Please forgive the tautology.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:48

MibsXX · 10/04/2023 18:41

I feel your pain,. I have two stepdaughters do same , even leave blood everywhere when its their monthlies, any mention causes total meltdown and histrionics.. ones 22 ones 19 been same fr 4 years and yeah its totally unpleasant to have to deal with

That is filthy.

Tell their dad to do it. It may shame them into cleaning up after themselves.

Or don't let them stay with you.

PalominoUK · 10/04/2023 18:50

You say no SEN, but has Dyspraxia been ruled out ?
I used to get so frustrated with one of my son's whose toilet habits left a lot to be desired and we both shed tears of frustration. In his early twenties he was diagnosed with this condition and it explains so much of his behaviour that made family life difficult (actually led to me having a breakdown)

PalominoUK · 10/04/2023 18:52

In the 70s there were still these types of facilities in France

Lamaitresse · 10/04/2023 19:10

My ds used to do similar when he was little (think 5/6), so as a result he and dh are banned from peeing standing up at home. They sit down on the seat and we have no more issues. Been like this for years now.
I would highly recommending introducing the same rule!!

itsgettingweird · 10/04/2023 19:13

I'd catch him later on.

Say you're really concerned because he can't pee into the toilet and that indicates a severe medical appointment. Therefore you and his dad have agreed to take him for a medical check up and to save waiting in case he needs surgery you are taking him private.

Then hand him wipes and ask him to clean up after himself in the meantime.

I'm sure the thought of being examined will get him to stop being a lazy bugger who waits until last minute - runs in and pees and runs back out to his gaming.

He shouldn't be doing it because it's disrespectful but telling him it must be medical should help him buck up his ideas!

Whiteroomjoy · 10/04/2023 19:27

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 18:46

I'm pretty sure it's cultural - there are some cultures where the men squat to urinate. I'm sure I read about an African people where the men squatted to pee.

In ancient Egypt women stood and men squatted. In fact until a couple of hundred years ago most women stood to pee in Europe as well (but I think the men did, too). Female undergarments are a comparatively new innovation - women just stopped walking, pee'd and then continued what they were doing.

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Yep, but women did squat slightly.
my mum had kept her mums ( my grandma) knickers as a curiosity . My grandmother had them when very young women working in fields as labourer. They had the open crotch that were norm in previous centuries.
when I’m out walking in middle of no where I often wish I was a Victorian lady climber, all those petticoats and crotch less pants to be able to wee discretely - even more discretely than blokes, vs these days having my bare bum out with Lycra round my ankles 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Stewball01 · 10/04/2023 19:31

Of course it's deliberate @SpacePotato . Probably egged on by mum. And he should buy toilet paper if he wet it.

Buffs · 10/04/2023 19:32

Let your husband deal with this.

Snoopy12 · 10/04/2023 19:38

When his friends are there, just give him a cloth and spray and tell him to wipe it off or to sit on the toilet seat and do it that way.

Chucknee · 10/04/2023 19:48

When my DC do this I ask them if I can show them something. They come into the bathroom and I point to the toilet and ask them if they know anything about how it got like that. If they know it was them I give them the stuff to clean it up. If they know they are innocent I ask another member of the household until I find the culprit. Shaming perhaps but I never accuse anyone of anything, just ask them if they know how it got like that.

Agree. Disgusting. Someone has to clear it up. Why shouldn't it be the perpetrator?

HandbagsnGladrags · 10/04/2023 19:49

My stepsons once had a full-on argument about who had left shit all over the toilet, both blaming the other. I was like seriously, just clean it the fuck up. 😡

T1Dmama · 10/04/2023 19:53

Dad needs to tell him that he either perfects his aim or sits down to wee! After all it’s a toilet not a urinal!!

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 19:54

Whiteroomjoy · 10/04/2023 19:27

Yep, but women did squat slightly.
my mum had kept her mums ( my grandma) knickers as a curiosity . My grandmother had them when very young women working in fields as labourer. They had the open crotch that were norm in previous centuries.
when I’m out walking in middle of no where I often wish I was a Victorian lady climber, all those petticoats and crotch less pants to be able to wee discretely - even more discretely than blokes, vs these days having my bare bum out with Lycra round my ankles 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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when I’m out walking in middle of no where I often wish I was a Victorian lady climber, all those petticoats and crotch less pants to be able to wee discretely

You and me both, White

Mummyofsquidge · 10/04/2023 20:07

My son is 9 and SEN and this is my hate in life! We talk about it a lot and I've started leaving wipes out for him to clean it. He gets on with cleaning it. So just to the same with him. Possibly his mother tolerates it. I wouldn't - and my son has ASD. I know he has accidents with aim, but he does at least then not leave it there. X

Rosejasmine · 10/04/2023 20:32

Not a mum to a ds, but I remember reading once about a physiological issue that can turn weeing into a sprinkler system for some males that can’t be helped. Probably not the case with your ds, but could it be?