Page 7 | AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

TheBlonde23 · 09/04/2023 19:27

Or a medical issue as pp have suggested! Or of course just laziness

all options are not normal and require action

UndercoverCop · 09/04/2023 19:31

@MissMaple82 my best friend has a 14 year old who doesn't urinate everywhere, and I grew up with a brother two years younger who managed to aim. Your expectations are too low.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 09/04/2023 19:31

diddl · 09/04/2023 18:39

Surely though if it's embarrassing you clean up after yourself?

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Quite.

DrMarciaFieldstone · 09/04/2023 19:32

AngelinaFibres · 09/04/2023 18:11

My eldest son made it very clear how little respect he had for his father's wife. My youngest son was much quieter. He used to deliberately do a very large, smelly poo in their downstairs toilet just before their father brought them home. He would leave the door open do the smell filled the whole house. A parting gift for her to enjoy after he'd gone. They didn't tell me anything about ut until they were adults. My exhusband had never said anything. OP he is absolutely doing it on purpose

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Well this is awful.

ohfook · 09/04/2023 19:35

Make it as boring as possible - no big reactions. Just act as though he's made an embarrassing mistake again and again. 'Sorry sweetheart you've had a little accident again. Here's the spray and wipes to clean it up. Maybe you'll manage next time'. He should get tired pretty quickly.

NameChangeNumber359 · 09/04/2023 19:35

That definitely sounds deliberate. Even if not, it's extremely disrespectful of him to keep doing it when you've asked him not to (like he should need to be asked at 14!)
Can you or your husband ask his mother if it happens at her house? Maybe take photos of the mess so she can see you're not exaggerating? I would be absolutely furious if I was you too, but I think this is the reaction he's looking for. I hope you get it sorted, it's disgusting behaviour.

nomoremerlot · 09/04/2023 19:36

KitKatLove · 09/04/2023 18:40

I’d stay out of it and get his father to deal with it.

Agreed

Angiemum24 · 09/04/2023 19:47

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

Buy him a potty and say he can pass in this outside till he's toilet trained.

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 19:49

UANBU to go nuclear

you are doing yourself and every other women who have to sit on a toilet he’s used, in his future life, an enormous service .

I have 2 DS and it was a source of real shame I never did get them to take responsibility fully. I used to bollock them and order them to clean up straight away and stand over them. But I worked full time, main breadwinner, and their dad never pulled them up when he found mess, when I wasn’t there, he just ignored it. We also had cleaners as I was working full time so they got away with my poor cleaners just doing the cleaning up even though I asked them to get my DS to clean up first if it was a mess if I wasn’t around

it took till they lived with partners to sort when they realised it was in their own interests. God, the humiliation I feel in those poor women having to deal with something I couldn’t get through to them on.

as it’s your SS you maybe have more power here. I’d bollock your husband and present him with cleaning stuff each and every time. It’s his job, not yours as SM, to teach his son and parent him into using a toilet that women use civilly and with consideration for the women who have to use it, and the people who normally clean it.

I do not get why men don’t bloody well show their sons how to aim once they get to an age that it’s not appropriate for mum to do that. Yep, like most mums as pre schoolers I did the hold and point explaining and the tin foil sink the bismark tricks…even did the red spot with marker pen below the water mark. 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️. But once they get to around 6-7 the mums hand on approach is not appropriate, but dads just don’t want to engage in continuous exercises of pissing lessons , especially at puberty when, I imagine, some stuff changes about aim and it’s further down to hit target. Certainly there weren’t messes until my 2 DS reached puberty.

dads need to step up. It’s the one bit of parenting only they can really teach their sons effectively. Unless, of course, they’re a bloody mess maker too 😡🤦‍♀️

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 09/04/2023 19:50

2bazookas · 09/04/2023 15:37

Get him on his own, take him to the bathroom, show him the mess and tell him, calmly and gently, this is not acceptable. Adult males aim to not miss or splash. IN THIS HOUSEHOLD, if you miss and splash you clean it up right away. Every time. While you're at it please clean the basin and taps too. Here is the cloth, and the cleaner; wash the cloth after and put it <here>. Over to you.

Then you leave him to it. If he leaves a mess again, you send him to clean the bathroom right away. You tell DH to do the same, and back you up.

This is how my sons all learned A) to aim well and not miss and B) to be very good at cleaning bathrooms.

Careful there! If you push too hard, he will clean everything… with your toothbrush.

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 19:52

Have to say though, my DS mess wasn’t what you’re describing, it was mess on seat and around hinges. 🤢

deveronvalley · 09/04/2023 20:02

My stepson did this, roughly same age, he’s 23 now and doesn’t do it anymore. I was so ill with morning sickness and faced with cleaning it up before I could puke. I was so fed up and his dad refused to say anything to him. I’m getting the rage just thinking about it and it was over 10 years ago!! You have my sympathy.

Cantthinkofabettername · 09/04/2023 20:36

I’d just act very concerned and say that you’ll need to speak to his mum (if you have that good a relationship) or school or the GP as you’re so worried about him not being able to pee properly (accurately).

Cantthinkofabettername · 09/04/2023 20:40

I’d also give him a cloth and spray with a ‘oh look you’ve missed again, I’ve been looking up potty training and will pop a ping pong ball in the toilet to help your aim.’ And also get his dad to read him the riot act - ffs unless there’s something I’m missing that’s just pathetic for a 14 hear old.

Inuno · 09/04/2023 21:38

Why is it everyone assumes it’s the woman’s job to clean a toilet, women don’t piss all over it, men need to take responsibility, this lad is literally taking the piss and his father is the person who needs to sort it

ReadersD1gest · 09/04/2023 21:42

Inuno · 09/04/2023 21:38

Why is it everyone assumes it’s the woman’s job to clean a toilet, women don’t piss all over it, men need to take responsibility, this lad is literally taking the piss and his father is the person who needs to sort it

Not everyone does. Op was advised to insist the boy cleaned up his own mess.

Smoky1107 · 09/04/2023 21:47

Get him to clean it. My sd is a nightmare after a number 2, I call back to the toilet every single time to clean it. She's much older too!! It's got better but we relapsed this week and made her clean it

IneedanewTV · 09/04/2023 21:57

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 19:49

UANBU to go nuclear

you are doing yourself and every other women who have to sit on a toilet he’s used, in his future life, an enormous service .

I have 2 DS and it was a source of real shame I never did get them to take responsibility fully. I used to bollock them and order them to clean up straight away and stand over them. But I worked full time, main breadwinner, and their dad never pulled them up when he found mess, when I wasn’t there, he just ignored it. We also had cleaners as I was working full time so they got away with my poor cleaners just doing the cleaning up even though I asked them to get my DS to clean up first if it was a mess if I wasn’t around

it took till they lived with partners to sort when they realised it was in their own interests. God, the humiliation I feel in those poor women having to deal with something I couldn’t get through to them on.

as it’s your SS you maybe have more power here. I’d bollock your husband and present him with cleaning stuff each and every time. It’s his job, not yours as SM, to teach his son and parent him into using a toilet that women use civilly and with consideration for the women who have to use it, and the people who normally clean it.

I do not get why men don’t bloody well show their sons how to aim once they get to an age that it’s not appropriate for mum to do that. Yep, like most mums as pre schoolers I did the hold and point explaining and the tin foil sink the bismark tricks…even did the red spot with marker pen below the water mark. 🤦‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️. But once they get to around 6-7 the mums hand on approach is not appropriate, but dads just don’t want to engage in continuous exercises of pissing lessons , especially at puberty when, I imagine, some stuff changes about aim and it’s further down to hit target. Certainly there weren’t messes until my 2 DS reached puberty.

dads need to step up. It’s the one bit of parenting only they can really teach their sons effectively. Unless, of course, they’re a bloody mess maker too 😡🤦‍♀️

As their father didn’t care I just taught my two sons to sit and wee. Much cleaner.

Feetupteashot · 09/04/2023 21:59

Yabu. Your OH needs to clean the bog or deal with DSS

Mangogirl12 · 09/04/2023 22:00

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet

This is EXACTLY what you should do. So do that. If it shames into changing, it will work. And that's the most important thing.

Inuno · 09/04/2023 22:06

Your Dh is the person to sort this, does this lad pee all over his mothers toilet?

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 22:37

IneedanewTV · 09/04/2023 21:57

As their father didn’t care I just taught my two sons to sit and wee. Much cleaner.

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Well yep, I wish I’d done that. I just don’t understand the whole stand up to pee when it’s an actual toilet. But I believed what I’d been told that men find it uncomfortable/unpleasant to pee sitting down …I still don’t know if that’s true or just lazy bullshit

LuckySantangelo35 · 10/04/2023 00:07

DrMarciaFieldstone · 09/04/2023 19:32

Well this is awful.

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@AngelinaFibres

you must be so proud

Equalitea · 10/04/2023 10:21

Not the same but I can empathise. We are having an issue with my DSC, 13 who keeps wiping bogeys around my house. Under the table, across the walls, side of sinks, beds etc. It’s been going on for months and despite being made to clean it up it keeps happening. I’ve spoken to them. DH has spoken to them. The GP said their nose is fine. When they do a poop they will leave it all on the seat, down the pan and rim, despite being made to clean it when we see it! 😬

I am inclined to think it’s all a dirty protest.

IneedanewTV · 10/04/2023 14:23

Whiteroomjoy · 09/04/2023 22:37

Well yep, I wish I’d done that. I just don’t understand the whole stand up to pee when it’s an actual toilet. But I believed what I’d been told that men find it uncomfortable/unpleasant to pee sitting down …I still don’t know if that’s true or just lazy bullshit

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an ex partner told me real men stand up and pee. So there you go!!!