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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

244 replies

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

OP posts:

ReadersD1gest · 11/04/2023 11:54

Equalitea · 11/04/2023 06:39

Agree at 22 and 19!

Show quote history

Why would either of you clean up after a pair of adults??

BaconChops · 11/04/2023 11:54

HandbagsnGladrags · 11/04/2023 05:40

@BaconChops you have very low standards.

haha 😂 great comeback, and of course you know me so well?!

mustgetoffmn · 11/04/2023 11:56

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:51

I'll go in shortly. I just need to calm down about it for a minute because otherwise I'll go in shouting I'm so fed up of it, it's fucking disgusting.

He’s angry about something and wants you to take him on and react. Are you a second wife or has his mother died? Don’t react he wants a big scene he’s seeking attention and help not an adult losing it

mustgetoffmn · 11/04/2023 12:25

Kanaloa · 09/04/2023 18:23

My god, that sounds really nasty. Why did both your sons want to deliberately show disrespect to women in their lives in such obvious/blatant ways? Was she a very nasty person to them?

Show quote history

You know, on this post no reveal about back ground. His mother and father may have had a bad split or a good one. The OP may be a perfectly nice person to her DS (or possibly not entirely?) or mother may have died. There’s no obvious reason but the boy may just be feeling resentment about his mother and father not being together and with him. Almost universal without anyone behaving badly or doing anything wrong. Adolescent particularly vulnerable to this for obvious reasons. Dirty protest Id say. Also DH sounds a bit passive somehow….they should be the person dealing with this why is the step wife?

jamdonut · 11/04/2023 13:47

Yes it is disgusting… but seems to be very common. The primary school I work at has cubicles- no urinals- and just about every day we have to have the conversation about being careful when peeing as the seats and floors are regularly covered in pee. Does no-one teach little boys how to pee properly any more? And of course no-one ever owns up to it….

aSofaNearYou · 11/04/2023 13:52

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Why would any you do this? This is exactly what I'd do. Every time my DSS (9) does something like that, I ask him to go and sort it out immediately. It's not like it can wait - other people need to use the toilet, he needs to clean it.

CeliaNorth · 11/04/2023 13:57

Also DH sounds a bit passive somehow….they should be the person dealing with this why is the step wife?

'step wife'??

Perhaps op was the next person to want to use the bathroom?

What if a visitor had happened to be the next person? What if there was a young girl living in the house or visiting, being faced with this? (OP hasn't said whether there are other children, I think.)

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 14:17

Aaah I was having this issue with my 12 nearly 13 yr old. My husband had a chat to him and problem solved. I asked what he said to my son and he told me that he simply explained to our son that if he has a “stiffy” or “ 1/2 a stiffy” to sit down and on the toilet and point it down into the bowl. Hahaha he explained that at this age the thing has a mind of its own and is stiff one minute and soft the next for no reason at all. You can’t pee standing up with it like that it goes everywhere.

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 14:30

I had this issue with my 12 nearly 13 year old. Hubby had a private conversation with him. Problem solved. Hubby told me that during these years the thing has a mind of its own really! Can be hard one minute and soft the next for no reason at all. They can’t stand and pee if it’s even semi hard it will make a mess. He explained to our son, if it like that to sit and point it in the toilet bowl to pee. Problem solved!!

Mumkins42 · 11/04/2023 15:25

The way you talk about him sounds awful. All it takes is a nice kind but firm talk with him, instead of coming on Mumsnet to moan about a child in such an unpleasant way.

Do you love your husband? Because if you do, can't you find it in yourself to just take the compassionate approach to this young lad who is his child. Make a joke of it, just tell him he has to clean it. If he kicks off, then tell his dad to deal with that.

He's still a child at the end of the day. Coming on mumsnet to whinge about him likes he's some demonic monster for peeing all over the seat smells of resentment. Poor kid.

Mumkins42 · 11/04/2023 15:27

Massive over reaction

aSofaNearYou · 11/04/2023 15:42

Mumkins42 · 11/04/2023 15:25

The way you talk about him sounds awful. All it takes is a nice kind but firm talk with him, instead of coming on Mumsnet to moan about a child in such an unpleasant way.

He's still a child at the end of the day. Coming on mumsnet to whinge about him likes he's some demonic monster for peeing all over the seat smells of resentment. Poor kid.

Oh Ffs. His dad has already spoken to him about it, he's still doing it. He's not a little kid, he's 14. It's not the pissing on the seat that's the problem, it's the not thinking it's his job to clean it up afterwards - the lack of consideration for others.

People are allowed to find that behaviour frustrating and unacceptable and not be softly softly with every last thing by the time someone is 14 because they're "still a child".

CrazyLadie · 11/04/2023 16:43

LicensedToLoseMyShit · 09/04/2023 14:46

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

My boy is 12 and has being cleaning the toilet himself whenever I see he has peed on it and has done for about 4 years, he ain't a ba y anymore and it is unreasonable to excpect others to clean up pish after ya! Tell him from here on in he will be cleaning it and make him do it, also check just before he leaves

MeridianB · 12/04/2023 13:46

@Mumkins42
The way you talk about him sounds awful.

It's really not.

All it takes is a nice kind but firm talk with him, instead of coming on Mumsnet to moan about a child in such an unpleasant way.

Because no one comes onto MN to moan about behaviours of children?

THEDEACON · 12/04/2023 21:08

I believe he's doing it on purpose too

kennycat · 13/04/2023 09:35

I make my 8 year old clean it up if I catch him. It’s gross and they need to sort it out before they lumber some wife or girlfriend with cleaning up after them.
my mother in law evidently didn’t make her bits clean up after themselves.

KarmaStar · 13/04/2023 12:08

Doing it to annoy you.
Whether it's a nasty teenager thing or he's not talking about something that's made him angry.

Imouttahere · 14/04/2023 10:02

OP you're definitely not alone in this. A friend of mine has 2 DS's and complains of stepping in puddles by the loo. Gross. My DS was fine with toileting until he became 9. We moved house and went from having 1 toilet to 3. DS tends to always go to the same one and that 1 toilet is the stinky one. I've asked DH to have a word, give DS a few tips on how to aim it, just help DS in general with it. DS swears blind it's not him peeing all over the toilet. I've done the shaving foam clean, target sticker toilet decal to give him something to aim at. Still, the pee is everywhere

blondiepigtails · 14/04/2023 17:17

My DS had form in his teens for being careless. He was verbally dragged back to the loo every single time. He eventually got the message. My mother always said you were failing as a mother (different times!) if you didn't teach your children to clean the loo after themselves. She absolutely refused to clean someone elses shit off the pan. At uni DS was the one that nagged his housemates for poor toilet hygiene! Elder DS was never a problem.
You are absolutely not overreacting OP.

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