AIBU to go nuclear now about f'ing piss!!

[LicensedToLoseMyShit]

Every time my DSS (14) comes to stay there always ends up being piss all over the toilet seat, up the back of the lid, in between the cistern and seat etc..

I've just gone to use the toilet and it's splashed everywhere, not just a drop but like someone's just pissed all over the seat, like they haven't even bothered to look where it's going and walked out.

I know it's him because it's not like this when he isn't here. I've mentioned it to DH before who's spoken to him but it still happens and I'm honestly ready to lose my shit over it. It's fucking disgusting and just shows a complete lack of care. Who pisses all over the toilet and just walks away?!

I'm half minded to storm in his room whilst he's talking to his friends on his playstation and shout to get in there and clean his piss up off the toilet (I won't but I'd like to).

Is it just me or is 14 way to old for this to be a regular issue? No SEN.

Husband and two adult sons are asked to sit down here. Either they do sit or they are careful because no issues here.

Tell him you'll piss on his PlayStation every time he does it and doesn't clean it up. He'll soon learn.

Could there be a sudden power cut in the room he uses (take out the fuse)? Then he has to come out to ask, and you can tell him why.

He’s 14. Did you ‘not think’ at 14 to the point that you had to piss everywhere then just walk away? Do you think he pisses everywhere at school because he ‘doesn’t think?’

If it was my son I’d tell him once then he could lose the PlayStation for the weekend. Less time for gaming, more time for learning to use the toilet like a normal human being.

This

DSS had a habit of using the ensuite (to the spare room , I know... ) just before leaving every.single.time he visited us.

The first time I found it, I insisted DH clean it all up immediately. Now, not later, now. Immediately.

Since the , I send DH to check the state of the place before I do anything else. DH has age related mobility issues these days, so I do most of the work that comes with hosting.

This is, however, the hill I am prepared to die on.

If DH is ever unable to do this himself, I'll have to explain that his DC I'd not welcome unless he can clean up after himself.

We have learned from other sources that DSS does not see why he should clean a toilet after he has used it but is fully prepared to clean it, if necessary, before he uses it.

Made v me laugh, as DH is a bit like that about the kitchen.

He’s watching his phone! My 16 year old does this from time to time and each time he’s handed spray and paper and told to clean the toilet. His younger sister sniggers and he gets embarrassed/annoyed at her. However it then stops for a few months before he ‘forgets’. I feel it’s my ‘duty’ as the mother of a boy to ensure his future partner doesn’t feel I was a bad mother!😂

It's absolutely disgusting and totally inexcusable

I made sure my sons could piss properly as soon as they pissed standing up

There are plenty of things you can buy to help (toilet ping pong balls etc) but I suspect that ship has sailed if he's got to 14 and still can't piss properly

His father needs to sort this (and should have done about 10 years ago)

How did it go when you spoke to him OP? We have one loo where sitting down doesn’t always work as the pee sprays out the gap between the toilet and seat at the front and makes an even biggest mess - unless they direct the flow!

Even if he has a medical problem that doesn't excuse just leaving it for someone else to clean!

If he was the next one to need the loo again-requiring a sit down-I wonder if he would just sit in his own piss?

Go into his room and tell him to mute his mic (so his friends can't hear)
Tell him to go and clean his piss and that next time you won't do the courtesy of warning him to mute the chat. Fucking disgusting.

My son is 12 and lazy - he pees on the seat too -= we give him a cloth - every time .. still can't be arsed to 'look'..

I have no idea how to solve the issues - but its grim

March him right back in there every time. He'll learn fast.

I’d be asking him if he needs to go to the eye doctor or the urologist. Kids his age should be able to get it in the loo. If he can’t, he’s either doing it deliberately and needs psychological help or he needs his eyes checked or his willy.

Disgusting...

OP I would simply call him into the bathroom, point at the mess he has just made, point at the cleaning product and tell him to clean in up.

And repeat...until he gets the message.

He is obviously doing it on purpose.

He's probably rushing to get back on the game.
If telling him to clean it up doesn't work, change your wifi password so he can't get on it.

Does he do it at his mums house? I'd ask her tbh. If he doesn't he is doing it on purpose. If he does, drop a ping pong ball in the toilet and ask him to aim at the ball, that should stop it.
If he doesn't you guys need to talk to him about it - he is very unhappy about something...

My eldest son made it very clear how little respect he had for his father's wife. My youngest son was much quieter. He used to deliberately do a very large, smelly poo in their downstairs toilet just before their father brought them home. He would leave the door open do the smell filled the whole house. A parting gift for her to enjoy after he'd gone. They didn't tell me anything about ut until they were adults. My exhusband had never said anything. OP he is absolutely doing it on purpose

Stay calm and call it out to DSS and DH - tell them it’s totally unacceptable and won’t be happening again. Give cleaning kit to DSS and ask DH to supervise. Make it as embarrassing as possible for both of them.

If DSS denies or protests, suggest a GP appointment. If it happens again, DH needs to give him cleaning kit and the Wi-Fi goes off.

I’m honestly not sure if this is deliberate but it’s worth finding out whether the same happens his mother’s house.

Vile.
do you have private medical insurance? is getting a catheter fitted an option?
Or adult nappies?

My god, that sounds really nasty. Why did both your sons want to deliberately show disrespect to women in their lives in such obvious/blatant ways? Was she a very nasty person to them?

Speak to him -warn him that the next time you will tell him in front of his friends

They showed no disrespect to any other woman just her. She was 17 and my husband was 32 when their affair started. We lost our home and all the other stuff that goes with divorce. It caused huge disruption to their lives. It was a passive aggressive way of expressing their opinion

I've just asked DP about this. He had the problem of spraying as a 15 yr old, and it is called meteal stenosis. Its a thing, and he had to be circumcised.
Quote 'it's fucking embarrassing'.

One of the differences of the sexes. A girl would never behave like this. She'd be so embarrassed. (ok, I know this is a generalisation, but it's true)

You're very naive if you think once think once they turn 14 they'll still be like this. I can assure you they won't