Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
Phoebo · 09/04/2023 13:26

Of course she should. You are a very good friend!

MajorCarolDanvers · 09/04/2023 13:27

She needs to pay

Allthingsbrightandbeautifulx · 09/04/2023 13:27

Vomit soaking through the mattress would be my biggest concern. Maybe the duvet and pillows and their covers could be saved as they could be washed at 60 with some Dettol laundry in there but the mattress - you’ll never get the smell out. Steam cleaning it both sides won’t work and as it’s drying you’ll just smell it seeping back through 🤢

Viviennemary · 09/04/2023 13:28

The bedding doesnt need to be replaced just washed. But yuck still horribe. How much money are we talking about.

Change2banon · 09/04/2023 13:28

That is grim. All the bedding needs replacing … what about the mattress? I’d be telling her (as poster said above) it’s your vomit as it had ‘kebab/pizza’ ..

She knew she’d been sick, that’s just lowest fucking grim ever.

If it were me, I too would replace everything rather than washing.

Mistymoonsinastarrysky · 09/04/2023 13:30

She remembered enough to cover it up 🤢
Disgusting individual, I’d be billing her for the lot.

Judgyjudgy · 09/04/2023 13:31

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Show quote history

Who cares even if she could clean it, why should she. Disgusting friend should be ashamed and replace everything

TheNoodlesIncident · 09/04/2023 13:31

I can believe that she was so drunk she didn't realise she'd vomited. But she sure as hell would have realised when she woke up in the morning. That was the time to confess and apologise and offer restitution; actually concealing it and not letting OP know and leaving OP to deal with the mess was utterly disgusting and despicable, blaming the dog was shameful and not offering anything for the "taxi" and bed for the night was awful too.

Damn right I'd take money from her, if there's no mattress protector on it then that will be ruined, the pillows sound ruined (I expect they can be washed but I wouldn't want them after that) and all the bedding that felt the onslaught. I hope the wall isn't wallpapered too but is washable paint...

So grim, I wouldn't stay friends with someone who treats me like this.

Change2banon · 09/04/2023 13:31

Viviennemary · 09/04/2023 13:28

The bedding doesnt need to be replaced just washed. But yuck still horribe. How much money are we talking about.

Mattress, wall, duvet, pillows - a LOT of sick! No way would I attempt washing that.

KettrickenSmiled · 09/04/2023 13:31

Rosula · 09/04/2023 12:57

If they were used sheets etc, I guess it's reasonable not to expect her to cover the price of new ones. On the other hand, if I were the friend, I would be pretty mortified about the whole thing and would want to buy new plus a big bottle of wine or something as a way of saying sorry. Making someone else clear up your vomit is just minging.

No it's not.

Used or not, the cost of replacing them is the cost of NEW bedding.
Unless you're suggesting that OP ought to search for second-hand replacements? Which would obviously be ridiculous.

If the 'friend' had done the decent thing & immediately scraped the excess off the mattress & pillows, stripped the bed & told OP about it, the bedding could have been salvageable. She didn't, so it isn't, & she should pay.

Cozzadelsol · 09/04/2023 13:31

That is absolutely disgusting. She left your child's bed covered in vomit and made no attempt to strip the bed and clean the mattress before she left....filthy mare.

She must have serious issues with drinking if she can't remember vomiting in the night. She could have choked.

Of course she owes you for a new set of bedding. I don't know where she gets the idea paying half is acceptable, plus the fact you had to clean up an adults vomit from the mattress 🤢

Change2banon · 09/04/2023 13:34

Judgyjudgy · 09/04/2023 13:31

Who cares even if she could clean it, why should she. Disgusting friend should be ashamed and replace everything

Show quote history

Who says the OP’s child wets the bed?? Confused 🙄
Youd be happy having a friend over who vomits on many different things then covers it up, expecting you to then clean up etc more fool you. (Aimed at those who say it can be cleaned)

JeepersCreeperrs · 09/04/2023 13:35

There is no way she doesn’t know she did that. Disgusting woman. She should pay for all of it.

whynotwhatknot · 09/04/2023 13:36

how could you not know after you woke up in the morning op said it was up the wall!

the woman is a cf and a liar

Gymnopedie · 09/04/2023 13:37

If it was the dog she's have said something at the time. That she didn't say anything and tried to cover it up (literally) says she knows exactly what happened.

A friend who gets so pissed I have to get out of bed to pick her up at 3.00am, vomits violently all over the room and doesn't offer to pay isn't necessarily a friend I'd want to keep. It suggests she's not someone who takes responsibility for her own actions.

Redebs · 09/04/2023 13:41

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Show quote history

Broken glass is no good for vacuum cleaners. Also it's a bugger to get out of cars.

Redebs · 09/04/2023 13:42

JeepersCreeperrs · 09/04/2023 13:35

There is no way she doesn’t know she did that. Disgusting woman. She should pay for all of it.

Yes, 100%

MzHz · 09/04/2023 13:45

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:14

I'm not good with these things and I don't want to fall out with her. I don't know what to say/do.

Not wanting to fall out with you isn’t driving her to do the right thing by her friend…

calmly and clearly explain that she’s ruined the entire bedroom and it needs replacing and it’s not right that she’s only offering half the cost of what she’s ruined.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 09/04/2023 13:50

The response is pretty unanimous OP. Have you decided what to do?

BreatheAndFocus · 09/04/2023 13:53

Vile, disgusting behaviour, made worse by her deceit, which has just added to the damage. I’d confront her and tell her you know it was her vomit because of the food in it, and she quite clearly pulled the duvet up to hide it so you didn’t notice, and then she tried to blame the dog. Disgusting liar 🤢

I’d ask for the full amount, and once I’d (hopefully) got that, I’d be keeping her at a distance. I’d also correct the lies she’s telling.

You really, really don’t need a friend like this!

MoltenLasagne · 09/04/2023 13:57

So you went and rescued your friend at 3am and let her stay in your son's bed and this is how she repays you? Wow. Doesn't sound like much of a friend you're losing there OP.

Glitterybee · 09/04/2023 13:57

Oh that’s vile!

cheeky bitch needs to pay to replace it all. Also, she should be the one cleaning it up too!

LiliLil · 09/04/2023 13:57

“Dear X, I have heard that you believe the dog was sick and ruined my child’s mattress, pillows and bedding. It absolutely was not the dog and I’m happy to provide a detailed description of the contents of your stomach if you wish. I am embarrassed for you that I even have to ask you to replace items that you damaged, but the cost to replace it all is xxx, I expect you to cover this cost as nothing is salvageable given the length of time the vomit was there without me knowing. Happy to provide bank details or I can send you a list of like for like replacements that you can order and have delivered”.

Fuck keeping her as a friend.

Thesharkradar · 09/04/2023 13:57

She's not a friend she's a complete liability, I wonder how many other people she's done this to?

MeridianB · 09/04/2023 14:01

Her behaviour is grotesque. Trying to blame the dog is pathetic.

I honestly don’t know how you didn’t smell it the next morning, let alone two days later, but she owes you new bedding.

Mostly, who needs friends like this, who quibble about whether or not they really covered your shared room in vomit? Why do you care about offending her?

Swipe left for the next trending thread