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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
ThinWomansBrain · 09/04/2023 13:04

vile - but replacing it all is madness
take it all to a launderette and but it on the hottest wash, she should pay for all of it

AllIwantforChristmas22 · 09/04/2023 13:07

Super vile, I would replace it all, send her the amount and your paypal/bank details. Your friendship is probably over now but who would want a friend like this?
find it very unlikely that she got out of bed and didn’t realize she had vomited everywhere.

peeweechigs · 09/04/2023 13:07

Why didn't she tell you it was there? If she's saying the dog did it means she knew it was there, so I'd be asking her why didn't you tell me? Why cover it up and say nothing?! That's shit friendship. Ask her!

Tallguy101 · 09/04/2023 13:08

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:21

It was all covered underneath the duvet and nobody had been in there.

I went in to change the bedding before my son came back, pulled back the duvet and saw it all.

So it's been soaking for the best part of two days.

Disgusting. Reminds me of the sheet scene in Trainspotting. She should pay for everything in full inc a new mattress and decorating the walls if necessary.

glitterfarts · 09/04/2023 13:08

She should be cleaning it up, taking the bedding to the laundromat and cleaning it all. Buy new pillows. Wash the rest. The mattress would be my concern.
Has it soaked that or was the mattress protector enough?

Vile. As if she didn't know.

readbooksdrinktea · 09/04/2023 13:10

How does the wall look? Your poor son.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 09/04/2023 13:10

Send her the bill for all of it.

Then I'd drop her as a friend, trying to blame your dog? Ffs.

Darkernights · 09/04/2023 13:11

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Show quote history

Is this a pisstake? Of course you should have paid to get the car valeted! It’s your responsibility! And it’s bloody glass!

Butchyrestingface · 09/04/2023 13:11

I've just heard from a mutual friend that she is convinced it was the dog, who slept in there with her (upon her request) but it is nothing like dog vomit.

Oh yeah, she sounds a total God among friends. I can see why you don't want to upset this one and risk the friendship. 🙄

LookItsMeAgain · 09/04/2023 13:12

That is really grim @sunmonlight .

If she got sick in the bed, she wouldn't have vomit in her hair.

Even if it were the dog getting sick, she would have to have kept sleeping in the vomit, which is something you would only tend to do if you were so crosseyed drunk it was actually your vomit, you got sick and you thought, oh, I'll deal with that in the morning when I wake up and then you're so embarrassed by it you literally cover it up and hope the situation goes away but of course it doesn't and it won't.

You need to get the mattress deep cleaned. The duvet and pillow need replacing and so long as there is no colour/acid damage to the sheets, they need to be put through the wash to remove any bacteria and germs from her vomit.

She should absolutely pay for 100% of this.

A dog would be showing remorse and perhaps even doing circles outside the room to draw your attention to their mess. You've not indicated that this has happened. Actually how has your dog behaved outside of your DS's room? They are usually a good indicator of what has happened, even if they did something like this themselves.

Marypoppinsnsnortscoke · 09/04/2023 13:16

Just reading this made me feel queasy 🤢. Yanbu!

strawberrysunrise · 09/04/2023 13:18

She sounds utterly grotesque.

Of course she would pay for everything she has ruined and should be adding a large dollop of apology to the mix too.

AliceOlive · 09/04/2023 13:18

She should pay for all of it. Can you afford to replace it, though?

I wouldn’t end the friendship over it. But I wouldn’t go out with her again if booze was going to be involved.

Did you text and her tell her about it? She had no clue?

KettrickenSmiled · 09/04/2023 13:18

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:14

I'm not good with these things and I don't want to fall out with her. I don't know what to say/do.

You don't want to fall out with a 'friend' who got you out of bed at 3am to enjoy your free taxi service, & who then insults you by expecting you to pay 50% of the cost of her ruining your stuff?

She's also taking the piss with her "I don't remember" schtick. So what?
Whether she remembers or not, she did it.
And she would have known that as soon as she woke up & saw the mess she'd made.

As to what to do - reply to her with a laugh emoji, & ask her why she expects you to suck up half the cost of her damage.

Supernova23 · 09/04/2023 13:19

That's disgusting. I would be mortified and paying for all of it.

I did throw up on a friends bed and cream carpet once. I was so drunk I didn't even notice until the morning. I was COMPLETELY and utterly mortified. Washed the bed sheets and scrubbed the carpet to within an inch of it's life. Literally spent two hours scrubbing it. You wouldn't even know after I was done with it. Never done that again since!

But to behave like that......absolutely rancid. No way she didn't know after waking.

strawberrysunrise · 09/04/2023 13:19

Honestly OP it doesn't sound like you'd be losing much if you did fall out with her.

I would be mortified.

AliceOlive · 09/04/2023 13:20

Oh no, I just reread and see that you had already gone home and she called you to come get her. I think this would put a huge damper on the friendship for me.

Blondeshavemorefun · 09/04/2023 13:21

Totally rank !!

How can someone not know they have been sick. The smell of nothing else

Bedding can be washed - that's what happens if dd is sick over hers (rare)

But yes friend should pay and apologise

strawberrysunrise · 09/04/2023 13:22

The fact she pulled the duvet over to try and hide it too tells you all you need to know!

ChristinaDior · 09/04/2023 13:23

If it’s been left to fester and soak for 2 days then I would want to replace it all too OP.

What an absolute tramp! How can she not realise she’s slept in vomit, surely she would have been covered in it and stinking the next day. Did you see her leave?

I would text her and say “Due to you vomiting in my child’s bed and not notifying me, therefor it has soaked through and ruined the sheets, you will need to pay X amount for the new ones. Please transfer me by the end of tomorrow”.

I wouldn’t worry about losing her as a friend. Friends don’t treat you and your home like this. Vile cheeky cow.

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 13:24

Darkernights · 09/04/2023 13:11

Is this a pisstake? Of course you should have paid to get the car valeted! It’s your responsibility! And it’s bloody glass!

Show quote history

Actually, horses are considered “acts of God” in almost all car/horse accidents. I offered to pay the excess (£40 at the time) to replace her window, and she submitted a false receipt from her mate for £180 for a “valet”. This was 22 years ago, and the valet I paid for when I sold my car 7 years ago was just £45. It pissed me off, I told her we’d have to go through our insurers, and she was deemed 100% liable for the accident, all for the sake of her greedy lies.

Jumbojade · 09/04/2023 13:24

If she doesn’t believe it was her who was sick, bundle everything up into black bags and deliver it to her. Then say that you expect the bedding to be returned once she has either

  • cleaned it, to the standard it was.
  • or replaced it with new comparable bedding.

If it had been me, I would have told you as soon as I had woken up and noticed the mess and apologised profusely. I would also have immediately said that I would pay for everything to be cleaned, or replaced if they couldn’t be cleaned. It is unforgivable that she didn’t tell you before she left, when you might have got away with cleaning rather than replacing!

Singapore4 · 09/04/2023 13:25

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2023 12:17

Why does it all need replaced? sick is normally able to be washed out.

Have you ever had sick in a mattress and pillows?

I would be fuming if it was my child's bed.

Why did you pick her OP? Was Uber not available?

KettrickenSmiled · 09/04/2023 13:25

KitKatLove · 09/04/2023 12:48

The fact that it was soaking for two days is on you 100%

Who wouldn’t completely strip a bed if someone had been sick in it?

Show quote history

😂How's it on OP?

Obviously she DID go to strip the bed, her child was away, there was no need to do so immediately.

The person who should have immediately stripped the bed is the one who barfed in it. As that wasn't OP, how did you expect her to know it had happened?

ForTheSakeOfThePenguin · 09/04/2023 13:25

cheeky fucker you pick her up in the middle of the night because she is drunk, she vomits and leave and then blames the dog?

It us not that she doesn’t remember, she is just shameless. Accept half of the money of that’s all what she can pay but from now on, she is not your friend, fancy that letting shit people stay in your son’s room because they are shit too drunk.