Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 13 14

Original poster

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:

Appleblum · 09/04/2023 14:04

Uh why are some people still making excuses for her? Of course she needs to pay!

Toddlerteaplease · 09/04/2023 14:05

She has to pay for it all. Don't be fobbed off!

RightOnTheEdge · 09/04/2023 14:08

YANBU! That's really disgusting in every way.

You got out of bed at 3am and went to pick her up then let her sleep in your sons bed and this is how she treats you?
Why don't you want to fall out with her?
She's not the kind of friend I'd want!

2bazookas · 09/04/2023 14:13

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:14

I'm not good with these things and I don't want to fall out with her. I don't know what to say/do.

Just replace all the unwashable goods and send her the bill. I'd expect her to pay ALL of it as ALL the damage was by her.

magicstar1 · 09/04/2023 14:15

YANBU. I had the same thing with a friend ….he was sick all over the bedroom. We tried to wash the covers but the stains wouldn’t come out. Luckily the mattress protector did it’s job and saved the mattress, but the protector was ruined.
He knew how bad it was, never offered to pay, but has never been invited back.

KimberleyClark · 09/04/2023 14:16

Honestly I would be so ashamed if this was me. I’d insist on paying for new bedding and would never be able to look you in the eye again.

shakeitoffsis · 09/04/2023 14:17

'Unfortunately it will all need replacing so il let you know how much it comes to'

PCPurpleHelmet · 09/04/2023 14:18

God this is disgusting. I'd not be sorry to lose that friendship, and I would ask her to pay for the whole lot. Obviously you can't make her do so, but I'd certainly request it.

SoShallINever · 09/04/2023 14:20

What a classy CF she is.
She must have been still very drunk when she left If she didn't notice vomit everywhere.
That would be the end of my friendship.

LAMPS1 · 09/04/2023 14:23

You would not be unreasonable to expect her to pay for new duvet, duvet cover, bottom sheet, mattress protector, pillows and pillow protector. If you need to buy all those items new because they aren’t recoverable after all this time, then send her the bill.
As for the mattress you will just have to scrub it a couple of times and air it well. And scrub the walls of course.
Shame you didn’t take photos.
I’d be surprised if her mate fell for the …it was the dog ..story. But I’d still calmly call her out on it.

321user123 · 09/04/2023 14:25

KitKatLove · 09/04/2023 12:48

The fact that it was soaking for two days is on you 100%

Who wouldn’t completely strip a bed if someone had been sick in it?

Show quote history

OP is not a hotel. She doesn’t have to strip a bed immediately just because someone stayed in it.

OP didn’t know there was sick all over it until she went it to change the bed.

Caterina99 · 09/04/2023 14:30

Urgh this thread is making me feel queasy

I mean I’ve got 2 small kids, we’ve seen our share of stomach bugs so I’m no stranger to stripping a bed at random hours, but this is just revolting.

My cat puked on my bed yesterday. But since she’s a cat she wasn’t able to cover it up and I got it in the wash as soon as I realised and it washed out. If it had been festering for 2 days though.. bleurgh

Really hope you have a mattress protector OP!! And yes your “friend” should pay 100%

SuperheroBirds · 09/04/2023 14:31

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 13:04

*The fact that it was soaking for two days is on you 100%

Who wouldn’t completely strip a bed if someone had been sick in it?*

I didn't know there was sick. I obviously stripped it as soon as I realised.

I’d say the fact it was soaking for two days is entirely on the “friend”. Who wakes up in a bed of sick and doesn’t say something?! If she’d been honest straight away it probably could have been washed and salvaged, but after a couple of days I’d be bundling it into a bin bag and throwing it away too.
For not saying anything straight away and helping to clean up, I think the friend should just offer to pay for the lot.

caringcarer · 09/04/2023 14:33

Why can't you just wash the bedding and use Vanish spray on the mattress. It won't all need replacing at all.

Thebigblueballoon · 09/04/2023 14:34

She absolutely should pay for new bedding. What a cheek after you picked her up at a ridiculous hour, using your time and petrol. I would have been mortified and would have offered upfront.
It’s also incredibly dangerous that your friend can get so blackout drunk and end up being so violently sick. She should probably talk to her doctor about this.

Tophy124 · 09/04/2023 14:34

She needs to pay for all of it and never ever do her a favour again!! I’d be notified if I had done that (tho I don’t drink much ever) and I’d also be offering to buy your son a new toy! You may have to throw the mattress. She’s being selfish and horrible and this might end the friendship for me. Horrible cow.

OriginalUsername2 · 09/04/2023 14:37

I would order you a new duvet, pillow set and cover from Argos if that was me. And apologise profusely. And probably get you wine too! Has she no shame?!

InSpainTheRain · 09/04/2023 14:38

I'd replace the lot, I'd probably not ask her for money (but YANBU if you do), but I'd never speak to her again. That is utterly filthy. No one can be that sick and not realise the next morning when they get up.

Banjaxx · 09/04/2023 14:40

Some people on here are either trolling or fucking nuts… she should pay in full to replace it all, end of.

anyone saying half is reasonable as it’s ‘used’ bedding that’s being replaced… it’s still going to cost the OP ‘new’ bedding prices though isn’t it.. why should she be out of pocket? She wasn’t the rank bitch who boked all over the place.

similarly anyone saying the op doesn’t need to replace any of the bedding and should just wash it is cracked in the bed… the duvet and the pillows were soaked through with 2 day old festering boke juice, if you’d be happy sleeping on that even after it had been cleaned you’ve very low standards of acceptable hygiene, there’s no way that’s not leaving a trace smell 🤮

OP, tell her you expect her to pay in full, she can deny it all she wants but the reality is she’s ruined your child’s bedding and it’s getting replaced. It can either be replaced at her expense with an apology and an intact friendship or you’ll replace it at your own expense and the expense of your friendship. Her call, give her a deadline for payment and tell her if it’s not in your account by then, (attach PayPal details) she can consider that a natural end point to your relationship.

Zanatdy · 09/04/2023 14:43

Half? Since when it is half your fault? She’s totally unreasonable

ilovesooty · 09/04/2023 14:43

Thesharkradar · 09/04/2023 12:31

I don't want to fall out with her
This dreadful person has treated you with complete contempt and you don't want to fall out with her?
You would be well rid of her, I would have nothing whatsoever to do with her again!

I agree. I'd send her a bill for the bedding and for your taxi services. Tell all your mutual friends what a dirty liar she is if she doesn't pay up. I wouldn't want to maintain the friendship either.

DrManhattan · 09/04/2023 14:44

Urgh disgusting. I would want all new. The scruffy cow. I wouldn't be picking her up again either when she's wrecked.

Nottodayicant · 09/04/2023 14:45

She would never darken my door again, my emetophobia aside, she is an absolutely disgusting specimen. Of course she copped it when she got up. The small, the fact it was all over the pillow where her head was and the walls. Absolute skankbag.

diddl · 09/04/2023 14:45

I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am

Well you know what they say about a good deed Op!

Why are you so desperate to stay friends with her?

Nottodayicant · 09/04/2023 14:46

*smell

Flip

1 2 ··· 5 6 7 ··· 13 14

Swipe left for the next trending thread