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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
Hmm1234 · 11/04/2023 13:21

You let a drunk friend sleep in your sons bed.. silly it’s your problem.

billy1966 · 11/04/2023 13:31

I agree with the posters who think only the absolutely most filthy person without a grain of self respect would leave a mess like that behind them.

Years ago my friend was visiting her parents over night and her 3 year old woke up and through up all over the bed.

Her husband grabbed the sheets, vomit and all, and threw the lot into the washing machine.

According to her the wash did not rid the sheets of the mess and it completely ruined her washing machine as the vomit went into the drum.

She was not impressed!

Another mother noted that it is very importand to hose down the vomit from the bedding, in a bath or shower, BEFORE putting it into the washing machine.

I would be bining the lot of that.
I would imagine it has gone into the fabric of the bedding and is irretrievably.

WoofWoofBeachLife · 11/04/2023 13:37

maddy68 · 11/04/2023 11:02

Also i do think it will wash out kids are sick in beds all the time. They aren't replaced

Yeah if it's not left for 2 full days to soak in and crust over. Also this is your own child not some disgusting dirty cow who has vomited dinner and alcohol over the bed and wall. But whatever you think you would do is fine, it is not acceptable for others.

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 13:37

what a crappy friend! Make her pay all of it that’s disgusting behaviour and absolute disrespect to you and your poor son. Once you get it all paid for limit contact. There are 2 types in this world givers and takers. You’re a giver obviously for picking her up, the offering her your sons bed. She is a taker to even expect to be picked up and given a bed, then to destroy it with her filth and think nothing of it… oh they can clean it up!! Not a friend for you.

mustgetoffmn · 11/04/2023 13:42

Well who else was sick all over the place? If I was her I’d be mortified and offer whatever you wanted. If I was you I’d ask her to get all washed/cleaned unless eg mattress badly affected. All else can be laundered . If necessary to replace mattress. If I had done it I would offer that. But otherwise don’t understand “replacement” unless permanently stained. Wall should clean. Repaint if not. All her responsibility.

MrsKHunt · 11/04/2023 13:45

I'd expect her to replace everything too @sunmonlight , that disgusting

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 13:47

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:21

It was all covered underneath the duvet and nobody had been in there.

I went in to change the bedding before my son came back, pulled back the duvet and saw it all.

So it's been soaking for the best part of two days.

2 days!! plus it was on the all as you said earlier. Probably soaked into mattress too in that time. Definitely she should replace everything!

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 13:48

On the Wall I meant to say

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 13:52

Trying to blame the dog lol, that’s how low she will go. Poor dog. She was the only drunken one in the room. Obviously it was her

Stewball01 · 11/04/2023 13:53

Dog and cat sick is completely different to humans and doesn't smell the same. Anybody who has animals would know that. What a disgusting person. It happened to be covered by the duvet my arse. How about the mattress? Poor boy. Where will ds sleep? I'd want a different room.

Aussiemum777 · 11/04/2023 14:06

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Sure you wash it immediately when the child pees in its own bed!! This drunken woman threw up all threw the kids bed, up the wall and hid it. Not saying anything. Therefore it has had 2 days to soak into the duvet, linen, pillow and through into the mattress. A child alerts the parent in incidences like this and the process of cleaning is done immediately, and it’s the child own vomit in their own bed. However, in this case this child’s bed has has 2 days of a some drunken adult’s vomit soaking into the poor kids bed. It all needs replacing!! You can’t wash that out it’s been marinating into the bed for days!! Commonsense!! To even suggest OP is scamming for new linen is nonsense and completely ludicrous.

BurningBright · 11/04/2023 14:27

Replace the bedding. Thank her for offering to pay towards it and tell her what her share is. Don't mention that you haven't halved the cost. Just ask for all of it but refer to it as her share.

BurningBright · 11/04/2023 14:28

Oh, and I'd probably add the cost of the petrol for picking her up too...

ReadersD1gest · 11/04/2023 14:31

A child wetting their own bed is in no way comparable to some drunken maggot puking in it!! Why does that have to be repeatedly pointed out?
I shudder to think what scuzz some of you are happy to live in.

CrazyLadie · 11/04/2023 16:50

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:22

She has been very apologetic. She says she didn't know and had no sick in her hair etc.

I've just heard from a mutual friend that she is convinced it was the dog, who slept in there with her (upon her request) but it is nothing like dog vomit.

If your dog had been that sick he would have needed a visit to the vet. She is being ridiculous! My brothers mate did this my parents house, he was not allowed back

CrazyLadie · 11/04/2023 16:52

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

It depends what she had eaten / drank also. I once spewed all over my mates room and her white wallpaper, it didn't come out and she had to get her room redecorated 🙈

KitKatLove · 11/04/2023 17:29

eastegg · 11/04/2023 08:54

Then you seriously lack imagination. People are busy. Why should OP be expected to jump up and change the bedding the second the ‘friend’ leaves?

Well done though. In my personal mn bingo I was expecting someone to say OP should have gone to change the bedding sooner, because that’s what they’d do. You win!

What do I win?
A vomit soaked set of bedding?

whynotwhatknot · 16/04/2023 22:48

what happened op

what gets me is if she thinks its the dog why wold she offer to pay half

MRex · 02/06/2023 06:15

The whole thing is bizarre. Why she didn't say she was sick, why you can't put everything in the machine to wash, why you didn't change the beds for days, how you didn't smell it, how you're saying it's on multiple pillows yet middle of the bed etc. I wouldn't care about the money, but saying nothing then trying to blame the dog is immensely rude, so she would never get lifts nor stay in my home again, and I would let her know that clearly.

Iamtheonwandlonely · 02/06/2023 07:14

She knew,that's why the bedding was put like that
She should pay for new bedding and should have been honest about it.
Disgusting behaviour.

Dibbydoos · 02/06/2023 07:37

Some people are odious.

When she woke up she saw the sick.

She should have told you and cleared it up.

What a disgusting thing to do and then only offer you 50% when you've had to clean it up. Not tge sort of people I pal about with but it's your choice. I think she's a CF.

LookItsMeAgain · 02/06/2023 07:49

What happened with your "friend" @sunmonlight ???

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 02/06/2023 08:30

I’d forgotten this thread. Even when an OP does her friend a fuck ton of favours, and that friend repays her by vomiting putrid booze all over her son’s bed and hiding it, posters still lay into an OP for being in the wrong 😆 classic Mumsnet.

DaaamnYoullDo · 02/06/2023 08:33

She thinks the dog vomited in the bed she was sleeping in while she was too pissed to get herself home 🤣 denial much.
She needs to replace the whole lot. I don't believe for a second she woke up in the morning and didn't realise she was laying in sick. She was embarrassed and tried to hide it is my guess.

Tiddlypomtiddlypom · 02/06/2023 08:33

Also, I don’t always immediately change the beds after guests have gone. I might leave it a couple of days until I have more time. What is the obsessive need to whip bedding off beds and fling windows wide open the minute non-residents vacate the premises? Ordinarily, it’s fine…

The neuroses of this place are très amusant.