Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect her to pay for all of it?

336 replies

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:12

My home has two bedrooms.

On Thursday I went on a night out with friends and didn't drink. I went home early.

My friend couldn't get a taxi back from the town and was very drunk, she called me and I got out of bed to pick her up at 3am and brought her back to mine as she lives 8 miles away.

She slept in my son's bed as he wasn't here.

I went in yesterday to change the bedding to see she had been sick all over the mattress, wall, duvet and pillows. All the bedding will need to be replaced.

She says she doesn't remember being sick.

She has offered to pay half for new bedding. Is this reasonable?

OP posts:
WoofWoofBeachLife · 10/04/2023 21:22

This is the most disgusting thread. 🫣
There's no way I would be washing anything she's vomited on. The clatty bint can get over to your house and strip that bed, wash the walls and carpet and take it all away. She can also organise a replacement mattress, duvet and pillows. Send her the link to this thread too. I feel nauseous.
As for the trolls saying the OP can wash the items etc, away and troll 🧌 elsewhere. Twunts.

GlasgowGal82 · 10/04/2023 21:31

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:26

@MavisMcMinty

It's been soaking for nearly two days, it's all saturated with thick, foul smelling sick. It's soaked through to the other side of the pillows, all throughout the duvet?

Synthetic duvets and pillows will wash up well in a washing machine (if it's a double you may need to take it to the laundrette if your drum isn't big enough). Scrape off any solids, then stick it in on a cotton wash at 60 degrees if the care instructions allow, if not 40 degrees will be fine and hang it outside to dry if possible. Scraping the solids off the worst bit, and it's at that point I might be tempted to stick it in a bin bag and replace, but if you can grit your teeth and get through it I am sure the bedding will be fine!

I'd be more worried about the mattress to be honest. Did it have a decent waterproof sheet on it? If not after a couple of days with sick soaking into it I'd expect it to be ruined.

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 21:32

Scrape off any solids, then stick it in on a cotton wash at 60 degrees if the care instructions
Why should op have to scrape up the stale vomit this miscreant walked away from?

Goldbar · 10/04/2023 21:34

WoofWoofBeachLife · 10/04/2023 21:22

This is the most disgusting thread. 🫣
There's no way I would be washing anything she's vomited on. The clatty bint can get over to your house and strip that bed, wash the walls and carpet and take it all away. She can also organise a replacement mattress, duvet and pillows. Send her the link to this thread too. I feel nauseous.
As for the trolls saying the OP can wash the items etc, away and troll 🧌 elsewhere. Twunts.

Completely agree. The "friend" is lucky that it's only the price of replacement bedding which is being discussed, not getting someone in to professionally deep-clean the entire room, which would be many times that.

Orangessunshine · 10/04/2023 21:35

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 10/04/2023 19:41

I'd just say "ok, you owe me £xxx" and not state how you came to that total.

Then don't bother with her.

This.

you don’t need to justify the details. I would also add my bank details or ask her to pop a cheque through your door by a certain date.

Iris1976 · 10/04/2023 21:41

I'd imagine after that long the mattress would need replacing too,this would end the friendship for me,the cheek of her!

Dontfencemein · 10/04/2023 22:22

You’re not being at all unreasonable to expect her to pay the full cost of the damage. And I’d never trust her again after she was so cowardly as to try to pretend it hadn’t happened. Awful thing to do to a friend.

Duchess379 · 10/04/2023 22:33

She's no friend of yours to do that! You want all the money then cut her off. Vile cow.

2023istheplacetobe · 10/04/2023 23:11

She needs to pay up or check out as a friend. That’s your sons bed, not some cheap Travelodge. It’s even worse that you picked her up!!
I would say half isn’t appropriate given that she was the only one sleeping in the bed. If she doesn’t like it, check out. Either way that stuff needs binning 😞

Godlovesall26 · 10/04/2023 23:14

OP hasn’t specified the amount.

’Friend’ isn’t a friend yes, but on a practical point of view I’d doubt she’d have a change of heart, so I’d cut my losses and get that half before any animosity. Then cut her off if you can’t agree to more.

On a practical note, I don’t know how old friend is to behave like this. Calling at 3am drunk etc. Then again I would not offer a child’s bed to anyone in that state given the likelihood of this happening. A basic sleep option with as little potential for the vomit everywhere ? How old are you all ?

Godlovesall26 · 10/04/2023 23:17

Godlovesall26 · 10/04/2023 23:14

OP hasn’t specified the amount.

’Friend’ isn’t a friend yes, but on a practical point of view I’d doubt she’d have a change of heart, so I’d cut my losses and get that half before any animosity. Then cut her off if you can’t agree to more.

On a practical note, I don’t know how old friend is to behave like this. Calling at 3am drunk etc. Then again I would not offer a child’s bed to anyone in that state given the likelihood of this happening. A basic sleep option with as little potential for the vomit everywhere ? How old are you all ?

Not to mention if she was that intoxicated there can be huge risks left alone so I’d have dropped her off at A&E

Mariposista · 10/04/2023 23:25

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2023 12:17

Why does it all need replaced? sick is normally able to be washed out.

Why should her child sleep in anything that has been puked on by a vile, immature individual who cannot control her drinking.
She needs to pay it all.

Mollymoostoo · 11/04/2023 07:54

MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 12:24

Exactly my first thought! How profligate of the OP. Does she replace all the bedding every time her child wets the bed? Seems a bit CF of @sunmonlight tbh, like she’s seen this as an opportunity to buy new bedding at her friend’s expense! Like the woman whose car my horse jumped sideways into, who lied that she’d paid £180 to have her car valeted to get rid of the shattered window glass, when any household hoover would have done it for the price of the electricity it used.

Show quote history

Why should anyone have to clean up an adults vomit after 2 days? I would bin the whole lot and expect her to buy new bedding.
To be fair I would have got her an uber, not got up and brought her back to my house.

eastegg · 11/04/2023 08:54

KitKatLove · 09/04/2023 12:58

Misread the OP apologies.

I can’t imagine not going in the room after someone sleeps in it for two days. Her friend should have told her. I don’t think I’d ask for money though.

Show quote history

Then you seriously lack imagination. People are busy. Why should OP be expected to jump up and change the bedding the second the ‘friend’ leaves?

Well done though. In my personal mn bingo I was expecting someone to say OP should have gone to change the bedding sooner, because that’s what they’d do. You win!

Hazzamum · 11/04/2023 10:05

She sounds like a terrible friend. Have you washed the bedding and found it’s stained, still no good? As much as the friend’s behaviour is really terrible, unless you can prove/show her the bedding is now unusable, I’m not sure you can demand the full amount?. I would suggest putting this friendship on ice. She’s a liar and selfish person.

RedHelenB · 11/04/2023 10:12

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:14

I'm not good with these things and I don't want to fall out with her. I don't know what to say/do.

As they weren't brand new then I think half is reasonable. She really should have cleaned up after herself though.

bringbacksideburns · 11/04/2023 10:14

She knew she’d vomited because she pulled the duvet over it! How disgusting.

Tell her you owe me X amount because it has been left for two days soaking into the mattress and you have had to bin the bedding.

niugboo · 11/04/2023 10:54

She knows it was her. No dog vomits, makes the bed and closes the door on exit.

I would message

“It was not the dog. Whether you remember or not is irrelevant, I was kind enough to collect you at 3am and this is not how you thank a person. The least you could do is offer to cover ALL costs.”

then never message her again.

niugboo · 11/04/2023 10:55

RedHelenB · 11/04/2023 10:12

As they weren't brand new then I think half is reasonable. She really should have cleaned up after herself though.

Show quote history

Why is half reasonable? She isn’t going to be able to replace for half the amount?

DocCee · 11/04/2023 10:57

sunmonlight · 09/04/2023 12:28

I haven't asked for her to pay for new bedding yet.

She said (without me asking) that she will pay half of replacing any bedding.

It was not the dog. I know what dog vomit is like. And also (tmi) her vomit had food in it that I know she had eaten that night.

Utterly revolting! She’d be paying to have everything replaced plus my ‘cleaning fee’ if she were to do that in my house.
🤢🤢🤮

maddy68 · 11/04/2023 11:01

For context. Many years ago my friend was sick in my friends child's bedroom (I was with him) we cleaned it all up in the morning Removed all the bedding. Went straight to the shops and replaced with the worst hangover known to man

maddy68 · 11/04/2023 11:02

Also i do think it will wash out kids are sick in beds all the time. They aren't replaced

Goldbar · 11/04/2023 11:06

RedHelenB · 11/04/2023 10:12

As they weren't brand new then I think half is reasonable. She really should have cleaned up after herself though.

Show quote history

Absolutely. So long as it's the friend who sources clean, half-used replacement bedding with the same pattern on it, not the OP.

Like for like, right? So she needs to find the exact same bedding in good, second-hand condition.

Catshaveiteasy · 11/04/2023 11:09

I can't believe she doesn't remember. I've been very drunk indeed, barely aware of my surroundings, but I came to with a vengeance when I was suddenly sick all over my bed. Also who covered it up with the duvet, even if it was dog vomit? Not the dog, for sure.

I think a lot will wash out. I've washed duvets and pillows several times when my dd was young. However I'd accept the money. Ideally she would offer to pay for the whole cost, but if you don't feel you can go there, fair enough. But never collect her again when she's drunk. Quite honestly I can't believe you got up at 3am. It was her responsibility that she got into that situation. Maybe she sees you as a doormat?

Catshaveiteasy · 11/04/2023 11:13

Actually the worst part is just leaving it there and saying nothing. She's an awful person. I'd be mortified, taking the bedding away with me and paying out in full. I'm not sure I'd want to continue the friendship - not because of her being sick, but because of how she has reacted to it.