To think this was not enough food?

[Klex]

Went to visit a relative yesterday.

There were five adults, a teenager and two younger kids.

Dinner was two supermarket pizzas, 4 potato waffles and 15 chicken nuggets between all of us.

As usual her kids dived in and had to be reminded there were others.

DS is autistic and pizza is one of his safe foods. He would only touch one of them as it was plain cheese, and this only had about three slices (because DH and I gave him ours). He was hungry as he hadn't eaten lunch (he only eats one out of lunch and dinner most days).

Ended up having to get food on the way home.

AIBU to think that this wasn't enough, and I f you offer to cater for people you actually provide enough food?

I do hope you're getting some help for your 'depression'. It's astonishing how many posters get into the doldrums over nothing.

I loath this posturing and use of serious illnesses to make nonsense points.

@Klex ohh that makes it much worse, I thought perhaps it was a case of you just dropping in for a informal lunch, though it would still be a odd combo.
But traveling that far and obviously preplanned I would expect a large lunch esp given its Easter Sunday a full roast would be what I would provide.

They don't need to be a cook to open a bag of salad leaves, coleslaw, potatoe salad. It would of at least added a bit of variety.
I feel sorry for their dcs if that's the kind of offd they get fed and no veg . Despite all the hyperbolic talk on hear about over / under eating / obesity them poor kids probably will have dietary issues.

No but then my small Easter egg reckons it’s 5 servings so maybe I’m way off on portion size as I’ve just eaten the whole thing for breakfast.

I'm genuinely asking if I am being unreasonable- just because it's not what I'd do doesn't mean I'm not being unreasonable.

And I have no problem bringing stuff. DH and I were talking on the way home that next time we bring them a Costco pizza (seriously her kids only eat beige - tried them with home made chilli con carne at ours and they sat with a face like I'd shat on the plate)

We brought food but he was rejecting it (autism means he can be funny about location and refuse things he'd normally eat at home)

And while she's not as comfortably off as DH and I she's not on the breadline (plus we would have brought more if she'd asked)

So your DS did have access to other food that you had provided also? To be honest it sounds ok to me. Not the best/most exciting meal to offer a guest, but actually I think three slices of pizza is enough. When we have pizza at home (usually just oven pizza but sometimes takeaway) I plate my kids up probably two slices and that is usually enough. And I’m not a mumsnet ‘I can only manage a lettuce leaf,’ but I do think people would be surprised how many calories are in an entire pizza. So a couple of slices of pizza with nuggets and waffles sounds a lot to me. Obviously your son couldn’t access all the food provided, but that isn’t really their fault, since he also rejected the food you provided.

This is one big issue on here - using this type of hyperbole to dismiss anyone who suggests balanced and normal views about food. Saying ‘900 calories is enough/a lot for a meal’ is not like saying ‘oh I only eat a cherry tomato for lunch.’ It’s like on here there are only the two extremes of stuffing yourself with unhealthy food at every meal or starving yourself. There is a balance.

🤣

I'd also make sure, that if I didn't know what was going to be served at someone's house for dinner, that I made sure everyone had had lunch!

Ever hear the phrase "You can lead a horse to water..." if DS doesn't want to eat he won't eat. He's had what we call "starve" days since he was a toddler - where he has breakfast and that's it. Usually lasts two or three days. He rarely eats all three meals and there's no way to predict if it's lunch or dinner that he refuses.

I can assure you that plenty of teenagers would have a pizza to themselves and can safely be described as normal or even underweight. My 19 year old son is one. To look at his gangly bony figure you’d think he never ate a thing, however I often look at the quantities of what he eats and wonder why he isn’t fat. And no, he doesn’t have an eating disorder of any kind. He just enjoys food, different flavours, likes cooking. I’m assuming his metabolism will change at some point. Interestingly his 17 year old brother probably eats slightly less than him and has a different shape, more stocky.

I remember being given dinner at my auntie’s house when I was about 12. It was just 2 of those cheap sausages you got in the 80s, ie not the big fat Cumberland style, plus a small amount of frozen chips and a tiny amount of peas. sure the amount was perfectly fine for her, but it wasn’t for me at that stage when I was growing rapidly. I remember thinking I could have eaten the exact same plateful over again. I think my mum realised and got me a couple of slices of bread and butter. Poor auntie didn’t have any children of her own so just didn’t realise that many children at certain stages of development eat and eat because they need it (not because they are greedy!)

Sorry that was for @L3ThirtySeven

It's not really the hosts fault that your boy didn't eat lunch and only has limited safe foods.
But yes, it's a very small amount of food for that number of people, and a really odd assortment.

I was also about to suggest these calories.

OP, it’s clearly not enough to have:
quarter of a pizza
half a waffle
2 nuggets (1 for one person if 15/8 people!)

But it does depend on whether you were invited or not. Sounds like they just raided the freezer which would be more than fair enough if you showed up uninvited, for instance. (Need to read any later replies by you for context.)

I also feed to excess when properly hosting and we don’t want anyone to bring anything as we invited them and their our guests (having only known that growing up/cultural reasons) but in my experience everyone is different. Eg We once got invited to a small dinner party but were asked to bring all the sides and it would have definitely cost us more than those who did the main dish. This was nice too but a faff transporting food and I’d have preferred to just go out to a restaurant and paid our share. It’s costly hosting and it can be a long day with inevitably lots of washing up afterwards too.

So your DS did have access to other food that you had provided also? it was literally a ham sandwich, an apple, banana and some crisps. All of which he refused to eat as it was the "wrong" location.

Does that mean that you share pizzas if you go to somewhere like pizza express then?

Were you invited for a meal or not.

See above

Your kid is not their problem though....he had many options

Agree takeaway pizza is calorific - also as we usually order massive ones to have with a big [Mumsnet] salad.

But the OP said they were supermarket ones. If I’m calorie counting, the one I get from Tesco is 500 for a half (ie 250 for a quarter obviously, as in this original post if 2 pizzas is split between 8) so I have one over two days and add sides. This is a nice - and big - Finest one with good protein and loads of mozzarella. I assume the pizzas served in the original post were not a decent quality (if served up with waffles and nuggets - but I may be wrong!) so they may even have less calories than 250 for a quarter.

Yes sorry I didnt read properly. You were invited. No its not enough food. Bu I dont think it's their fault your son refuses food sometimes.

But he was invited to this meal too, so IMO catering for him is not an unreasonable expectation.

Point is we couldn't offer him alternatives to fill him up (and I'm not saying that's her fault)

I’ve looked Almond mum up. Not that I asked the question. Pretty depressing reading. A mum teaching disordered eating to their child. https://www.nbcnews.com/pop-culture/pop-culture-news/young-women-tiktok-want-generation-avoid-becoming-almond-moms-rcna54432

A bit more context is needed, OP.
So they invited you around for food and that's what they cooked? Have you been to theirs for food before? Is this the norm? It sounds like "kiddy" food to me. Perhaps it was only meant for the children and they weren't expecting the adults to tuck in.
If I'm having friends over I'd do a starter (only something simple like homemade veg soup and fresh bread), a big dish main eg lasagne, curry, chilli + rice, pasta, salad, vegetable sticks, dips, hummus, avocado, olives etc and maybe meringue and fruit pavlova type thing for dessert. But something everyone can eat, kids included, and more than enough of it so people can take leftovers home with them for lunch next day.

Your son was invited. The hosts provided food he could eat and you brought food he could eat. If he chose to eat neither that's not their fault.
Not sure what more you think they could've done. Apart from provide MORE of the freezer food they served up.

OP, after just reading all your posts, I’d personally suggest you do what we do when this has happened with us. Once you’re even on the hosting, we just suggest we go out for dinner (somewhere reasonable and where your child enjoys) and split the bill. To “have a break from cooking and cleaning.” It works out cheaper than hosting a dinner, just paying for your family somewhere reasonable, in our experience. We also do this with relatives who like to forget they have kids when visiting and we are left babysitting/cooking/hosting in our nowadays unchildfriendly house. Much better being in a restaurant where you can leave them look after their own kids and just enjoy your meal.