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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this was not enough food?

324 replies

Klex · 09/04/2023 08:14

Went to visit a relative yesterday.

There were five adults, a teenager and two younger kids.

Dinner was two supermarket pizzas, 4 potato waffles and 15 chicken nuggets between all of us.

As usual her kids dived in and had to be reminded there were others.

DS is autistic and pizza is one of his safe foods. He would only touch one of them as it was plain cheese, and this only had about three slices (because DH and I gave him ours). He was hungry as he hadn't eaten lunch (he only eats one out of lunch and dinner most days).

Ended up having to get food on the way home.

AIBU to think that this wasn't enough, and I f you offer to cater for people you actually provide enough food?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Easterfunbun · 09/04/2023 15:43

@lv884

Ive worked clinically in eating disorder units, usually with young girls. I would say your analysis is correct. Most of their mothers have horrifically disordered eating and some quite odd family dynamics. We all used to agree that that was the biggest influential factor on how extreme and ED ever got.

Skybluepinky · 09/04/2023 15:45

Calorie wise it was probably more than enough but all very empty calories.

OnaBegonia · 09/04/2023 15:48

@Easterfunbun
I fully agree, kids growing up to think more than a 1/4 pizza is greed and counting of calories constantly is damaging. Some of the posters on this thread have quite disordered attitudes to food, many on food threads are obsessive.

Itsallaloadofbollocks · 09/04/2023 15:50

FrangipaniBlue · 09/04/2023 14:31

I'm putting a lot of effort into correct portion sizes and a 1/4 of a large pizza, a waffle and a couple of chicken nuggets would be a lot of calories! So she was possibly right that it was enough food.

I think it’s actually enough food unless the pizzas were very small. No wonder we have an obesity crisis if the OP thinks three slices of pizza for their DS is so little they had to stop and buy more food on the way home.

Eh???

It's 1/4 of a pizza, 1/2 a waffle and not even 2 chicken nuggets per person Confused

According to MFP that's only just 400 calories which is absolutely NOT a lot of calories.

Don't forget that there weren't enough nuggets for everyone to have 2 so one person will have 349.5 calories. However, another poster claimed 60 calories per nugget so your calculation could be way off (8.5 calories/nugget) 😁

Original poster
Klex · 09/04/2023 15:51

The way you describe the picky eater on the other side of the family though...please try not to judge. People without autism can have food problems too, and as this is a girl there is also a heightened possibility that she is masking neurodiversity, with food being one of the few signs.
Definitely not neurodiverse (we have specialists in this area in the family, which is why DS was diagnosed relatively early (barring covid)) just a case of lack of exposure.

OP posts:
knittingaddict · 09/04/2023 15:51

vivainsomnia · 09/04/2023 13:13

So two slices of pizza per adult/teenager and 7 chicken nuggets and one potatoes waffle per child, assuming some salad on the side and a desert are normal portions for a meal, not a feast.

Not shocking, acceptable numbers of calories but nowadays, most expect to pig out when eating out.

I think you've forgotten the adults.

Fantasmagoricalan · 09/04/2023 16:47

That’s nothing like enough food. And I’m arguably one of the much-maligned teeny tiny brigade.

Kanaloa · 09/04/2023 16:56

CurlyhairedAssassin · 09/04/2023 11:00

Does that mean that you share pizzas if you go to somewhere like pizza express then?

Show quote history

Yes. Do you not? I wouldn’t order 6 pizzas and have everyone sitting eating an entire pizza to themselves. I think that’s excessive. Obviously different if it was one of those little tiny kids pizzas.

Kanaloa · 09/04/2023 17:02

Klex · 09/04/2023 11:00

So your DS did have access to other food that you had provided also? it was literally a ham sandwich, an apple, banana and some crisps. All of which he refused to eat as it was the "wrong" location.

Maybe in future if you know your son struggles, provide more foods with you? Because even if they’d provided much more then of course he still would have had very limited food as he rejected a lot of it. Or plan to eat at the ‘right’ location if you think he will be very hungry and unable to eat the food at a guests home. I used ti have to bring a packed lunch for my son just in case.

FrangipaniBlue · 09/04/2023 17:03

@Itsallaloadofbollocks 😂😂😂

Goldenbear · 09/04/2023 17:04

Is that what constitutes as 'hosting'? Are they elderly? My MIL is a large lady so it is odd but she always underestimates how much my 16 year old DS can eat/needs and what DD 12 has. She always cooks from scratch but it may be one chicken thigh for DS and DD on cous cous or something like that and DD's portion hasn't changed since she was a toddler!

MauveCow · 09/04/2023 17:05

Watching this thread while cooking dinner. Very satisfying.

Goldenbear · 09/04/2023 17:09

Goldenbear · 09/04/2023 17:04

Is that what constitutes as 'hosting'? Are they elderly? My MIL is a large lady so it is odd but she always underestimates how much my 16 year old DS can eat/needs and what DD 12 has. She always cooks from scratch but it may be one chicken thigh for DS and DD on cous cous or something like that and DD's portion hasn't changed since she was a toddler!

Obviously DD is not placed on top of cous cous!

lljkk · 09/04/2023 17:13

OP, So... what are you going to do next time you go over? Will you explain that your lot need more calories? Or bring more of your own food, at least for the not fussy persons in your party. How will you solve this for next time?

How old is your DS. When you say 5 adults...

It sounds like OP + her partner + one more (her own DS)?
It sounds like host contributed 1 adult (host) + 2 adult off spring + 2 < teenage kids.

Supermarket pizzas vary in size. Was there nought to drink, or perhaps sugary (calorific) sodas?

Original poster
Klex · 09/04/2023 17:32

Maybe in future if you know your son struggles, provide more foods with you? Because even if they’d provided much more then of course he still would have had very limited food as he rejected a lot of it. Or plan to eat at the ‘right’ location if you think he will be very hungry and unable to eat the food at a guests home. I used ti have to bring a packed lunch for my son just in case.

For the umpteenth time, we did bring food for him. He refused to eat ANY of it - food that he normally is fine with - simply because he was in a different location. We have no way of knowing what food he will reject in a new location.

OP posts:
Kanaloa · 09/04/2023 17:40

Klex · 09/04/2023 17:32

Maybe in future if you know your son struggles, provide more foods with you? Because even if they’d provided much more then of course he still would have had very limited food as he rejected a lot of it. Or plan to eat at the ‘right’ location if you think he will be very hungry and unable to eat the food at a guests home. I used ti have to bring a packed lunch for my son just in case.

For the umpteenth time, we did bring food for him. He refused to eat ANY of it - food that he normally is fine with - simply because he was in a different location. We have no way of knowing what food he will reject in a new location.

Which is why I said ‘more foods.’ As in a wider variety of items. Then if he doesn’t eat it at least it has been offered. Realistically it makes little difference - they could have provided a feast and you son still could have rejected it.

MauveCow · 09/04/2023 17:47

Goldenbear · 09/04/2023 17:09

Obviously DD is not placed on top of cous cous!

Show quote history

Well of course not. She should be served on the side. Honestly, what kind of philistine are you?

JupiterFortified · 09/04/2023 18:28

CornishGem1975 · 09/04/2023 13:09

Nope!

My family would look at me like I'd gone mental if I started divying up pizzas into slices for dinner!

Show quote history

Thanks for making me feel normal again lol!

Stomacharmeleon · 09/04/2023 19:11

No there was not enough food for all of you clearly.
I don't think you can count your sons issues in this though as they had no way of knowing if he would/ wouldn't eat variety of foods nor change the location.
If he was having a starving type day I wouldn't have taken him. It makes food a battle ground. And I know I have done this (twice).

GlitteryUnicornSparkles · 09/04/2023 19:28

I Think waffles with pizza is an odd combo!

Were you expected and did they know they were supposed to be catering for you or was this you dropping in and they unexpectedly but kindly tried to make their food stretch as you were there so as not to be rude in not offering you any? If the former its definitely not enough for the number of people but by how much would depend greatly on whether ‘dinner’ is mid afternoon (lunch) or main evening meal (tea)? (Dinner means different things to different people possibly dependant on region).

I’m not a much of an eater at ‘lunch’ time, if I have too much I’m not hungry at ‘tea’ time so for lunch 2 slices of pizza and a chicken nugget or two would be more than enough for me until the evening which for other adults of a similar appetite would make one pizza enough for 3 adults but a lot of people especially men would eat way more than this so you’d probably need 2 pizzas just to cover the adults at lunch time. My teenage son (14) is like a bottomless pit, he could eat 15 nuggets and half a pizza to himself for lunch and still be hungry and wanting a full evening meal so thats 2.5 pizzas, depending on how young the younger ones are two slices each and half a waffle and a couple of nuggets is probably enough taking it up to 3 pizzas, which makes it at least 1 pizza and a lot of nuggets short of the number of guests.

Supermarket pizzas are often not huge and as a main evening meal my son and I can both eat a full thin base pizza each with sides such as chicken dippers and spring rolls followed by a dessert so if this was tea time I’d say they probably needed at least 6 pizzas and 3x the amount of nuggets and either a few other nibbly bits or at least 1 whole waffle each.

Original poster
Klex · 09/04/2023 19:37

Which is why I said ‘more foods.’ As in a wider variety of items. Then if he doesn’t eat it at least it has been offered. Realistically it makes little difference - they could have provided a feast and you son still could have rejected it.*

Short of bringing the entire contents of the fridge... 🙄

However he never rejects pizza - that's why relative cooked it.

OP posts:
Runnerduck34 · 09/04/2023 21:10

It's not enough food, if a average supermarket pizza I would allow 1 pizza per 2 people plus extra like salad, garlic bread etc.
4 potato waffles between 8 people is odd- we're they cut in half?
sounds the type of thing you pull out if the freezer quick when you weren't expecting guests and you havent been to the shop for a week.

TheKobayashiMaru · 10/04/2023 09:50

No where near enough food or variety!

oosha · 10/04/2023 18:08

Are they crazy or fasting? There is no way that’s enough food!

Missingpop · 10/04/2023 18:17

I’d safely say they have no idea how much people eat under my portion sizes that wouldn’t count as a starter for that many people; but maybe financially that’s all they could afford!!